AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

You can be proud of your hometown without slagging off everyone elses, and misrepresenting them.

When did I do this?

Seven0 your post is like stereotype 101

In your OP, OP. And lots of other people have said stupid and offensive things all over the thread you started.

When does your dc go to school? Because that’s something to think about too depending on where you go. We live in a town where schools are oversubscribed as is the town 20 minutes along.

Yes, OP, DH and I left London and now live in a smaller city just outside London which is any easy commute for him (he still works in London).

It took me a while to get used to it, mainly because I loved big city living and only moved because DH wanted to and we knew our two DC would have a better quality of life. Plus, our money went further here (although many of the nicer towns/cities within easy commuting distance of London are hardly cheaper now than London itself), but eight years on I'm really happy we moved.

For me, having small DC has been the key to making new friends. If we'd moved at any other stage of life I think I'd have struggled much more. But if you have DC who are aged 0-11 (but particularly if they're about to start school), then you will meet lots of new people and from them you will almost certainly make new friends. I've moved around a lot and I'm friendly and I definitely made an effort in the early years, but my god it was worth it.

I still go into London regularly and I still love London, but tbh I'm now glad we don't live there. It's so dirty and busy and all the fucking tourists with bags on the tube really annoy me. Our DC have a lovely life too and will always be a short train journey from London, so I consider that we have the best of all worlds.

In your OP, OP.

No I didn’t but it doesn’t matter what I say.

And lots of other people have said stupid and offensive things all over the thread you started

So? We have also had comments that London smells, is shit, nothing to be proud of, would never raise my kids there, etc. Am I offended? Not one bit.

Have a chat to the estate agents about the areas you can afford, family areas and good schools etc. Have a walk round those areas and a look at the housing stock. Ask people what the area is like. Visit local cafes and ask in there about what it's like to live locally. We found most people are happy to chat. And younger people are usually very honest about what it's like to grow up in their neighbourhood.

@x2boys
And dont you think its ironic that the op has never travelled out of lLondon Pax and knows little about the rest of the UK just as you say people in your town havent travelled ?

I think in this day and age it is strange that SOME young people in their mid 20s have never travelled anywhere, even within the UK.
But is this typical for young people in small, rural communities or not? I really don't know.
My DH was born and brought up in London and he and a mate went backpacking abroad when they were 17 or 18.

I'm nearly 50 and the last time I went on holiday with my parents was in 1984! The following year I went on holiday with a group of youngsters (an organised trip with activities and excursions). Then in 1986 I started travelling all on my own. Bought a rail pass for under 26 year olds and off I went.

Of course there is. I'm from there myself (east), and I hate the place.
I moved to a city in the north of England for uni in 2013, and it was the best thing I ever did. I ended up falling in love with the city and wanting to live in it. So I did. I ended up meeting my dh and being happy here. I got pregnant and moved back to be nearer my family. Worst decision I ever made. We have since moved back up north and we couldn't be happier.
I think the only way to know is to just go for it. You won't know unless you try. Personally I wouldn't ever move back there again if someone paid me.

poppingshop1 it sounds like you've already made your mind up and that a move would do you good

I moved out of London nearly 8 years ago to live with (my now) DH after a lifetime of living in the south and moved to a rural area near Leeds/York. It's not always been easy but it's the best decision I ever made. I still absolutely LOVE London and visit regularly but our quality of life here is so much better. Less rushing, less worrying about money, more time for family and friends, and a much better community.

I'd suggest writing a list of what you're looking for elsewhere, narrowing it down to a couple of places and then going on a visit and talking to contacts in that area. If you can't imagine yourself living somewhere it probably won't be for you but if you start to get visions of your new life somewhere then go for it!

Yes.

rolls eyes

Pax going travelling isnt unique to London , its probably more common amongst those that can afford it but i know many people who have gone travelling from my little northern town and btw where i live its pretty diverse I have travelled a bit but not loads due to finances but have travelled around the UK and the last time i went on Holiday with my parents was in 1990 when i was 16.

PaxUniversalis just in case your worried I’ve never left my house I’ve done the whole backpacking thing & seen the world, just not much of the UK 😁. As my parents are French I probably know France much better than the UK and have visited lots of family there in different regions as a child, my parents have a house in the SW although my parents are separated & my father lives in Dublin as he has some family there. So familiar with Dublin, Wexford & Galway too. All very complicated!

My family moved out of London when I was in my late teens, I'm in my 60's and still miss it!
However I live at the end of the Metropolitan line and for all my working life commuting which isn't that bad when you get onto an empty train in the morning. My kids all went to very good local schools and have been able get good jobs being as we are in the SE.
We go to the theatre a lot (in London)yet we live on the edge of lovely countryside.
We don't live in the "suburbs" but in a town in itself.
Life doesn't begin and end in London and I'm sure with an open mind you could live elsewhere be it just outside London (ie Surrey , Hertfordshire, Kent etc, etc) or in another UK major city.
Its down to whether or not you feel that your family will have a better quality generally if you live elsewhere.

London is the biggest shithole in the country OP. Most people realise that when they eventually leave. Rotten place with a much higher proportion of rotten people and a pay gap between rich and poor so huge it's absolutely sickening.

London is not a shithole, it is an amazing city. I live in an historically deprived and crime-ridden inner city area; it nonetheless has lots of beautiful houses, wonderful green spaces, masses of cultural opportunities, good schools and excellent public transport.

I love lots of other parts of the UK and wouldn't dream of trashing an entire huge city and its people.

@x2boys

@poppingshop1

Hmm. I must have met some unadventurous 20 somethings from around here then.

If you speak French, why not go to the south of France?
Otherwise, if you must leave London, have you thought of emigrating OP? Sydney is cheaper than London. New York suburbs give you more space for your money. Also somewhere north of LA like Santa Barbara or Monterrey have a great quality of life?

Google is your friend, OP.

Good luck making friends if you do decide to move out of London.

So? We have also had comments that London smells, is shit, nothing to be proud of, would never raise my kids there, etc. Am I offended? Not one bit.

Absolutely, there have been far more offensive things said on this thread about London than anywhere else.

London is great, by the way BUT the ignorance of some of its inhabitants and their faux surprise that other places are actually pretty great, also, is hugely annoying.

You need to look at what you spend most of your time doing and whether that would improve or not if you move away. For example, if you spend a lot of time at home then you might appreciate a nicer/bigger home. Londoners are obsessed with parks because they don’t have gardens - it’s a lot easier to chuck the kids out into the garden where you can supervise them from inside than mounting an expedition to the park - you can also enjoy it in the evening (yes, even out of London the weather can be nice enough to sit outside!).
You and DH like eating out - plenty of good restaurants in other big cities.
You take the kids to a museum etc. every 6 weeks - so there are enough cultural activities laid on elsewhere for you to be easily able to do this, and as they get bigger it’s nice to be able to get out into proper countryside. If there’s something London-specific you want to do then go for the day/overnight.
A lot of hysterical people on this thread. Although I don’t live in London I love to visit, but also love coming back to my lovely tranquil house which I would never be able to afford in London (surely no-one enjoys being woken by people shouting in the streets & ambulances blaring every single night?)

Absolutely, there have been far more offensive things said on this thread about London than anywhere else

No there really haven't

Where has anyone suggested that outside of London 'smells' is a 'shithole' and is no place to raise a family?

@MrsFezziwig
You need to look at what you spend most of your time doing and whether that would improve or not if you move away.
Very true. In retrospect - although we do enjoy living here - we should have done a bit more research. When we moved out of London DH and I were fed up with the crowds, the overcrowded Underground trains, litter in the streets, run down areas, etc. We convinced ourselves that we'd embrace country life and quiet, rural living.
We do - in many ways - especially DH, but what is lacking for me around here is a range of opportunities related to arts, cultural life and entertainment. We have 1 small museum and some restaurants and a couple of pubs. No theatre, not even a small one. No art gallery. No exhibitions. No nice bars for pre- or after dinner drinks.

If there’s something London-specific you want to do then go for the day/overnight.
Agreed. And I do. Trouble is that I cannot find friends to come with me. Our local friends here don't seem very keen on venturing out and doing these things. Not even my own DH! I went to a gig in London on my own a couple of days ago. It was fun but I would have enjoyed it more with a friend.
I like to go the Victoria & Albert Museum sometimes or other venues for an exhibition or other but I always end up doing this on my own.