AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

I was 21 & at a wedding & assumed we could walk home from the pub the night before but obviously we couldn’t.

You walk on the ROAD. On the ROAD. People who have common sense know that you walk on the RIGHT of a road without a pavement so that you are facing the oncoming traffic rather than having it come up brhind you.

Bet the people in the pub had a right laugh and the townies who couldn't possibly walk because there wasn't a pavement. Once again - Jeezo.

We have overground trains AND underground trains in Glasgow. Go us. And pavements. And buses. Edinburgh even has trams!

Actually the more the OP reveals her total and utter ignorance of anything outside the M25 the more I think she could stay there because if she did move to Bath/Leeds/Edinburgh she'd be constantly bleating about how it's not London.

Nyx1
Pax, what you said about the small market town is exactly what we're looking for - I'm looking at your posts thinking "does this really exist"

Yes, these towns really do exist
It really is a nice, friendly place to live. It's visually pleasing, clean, safe (low crime rate), very friendly, good schools, a few good restaurants and pubs. We have no plans to move elsewhere so far.

BUT (there is a 'but') - the one thing that I find hard here is finding like-minded friends. I'm nearly 50, DH is nearly 60 and DH and I don't necessarily share the same interests. We share main interests but I have LOADS of other interests, mainly arty and cultural stuff, which is not DH's cup of tea. I also have niche interests when it comes to music. And I love going to gigs/rock concerts of the bands I like.
I always end up doing these things on my own.

We don't have children so it's easier for me to go out and do things than other people my age who have kids. However some of our local friends who have older or grown up children (so no urgent childcare responsibilities) tend to think venturing out to a larger town to see a gig or go to an event or visit an art gallery for a special exhibition is an effort whereas I think it's great fun.
Our local town just doesn't offer that range of opportunities in terms of art and entertainment compared to London and other large towns.

outside of London the public transport is dire, by comparison. You'll spend far more time in your car, especially as the kids get older and want ferrying around. You'll find yourself memorising the fictional bus timetable, rather than just waiting for the next one in a couple of minutes, and remember there is no tube or overground

This is true of many, many places though. We moved to a big, thriving city. Public transport is awful.

You said;

One thing to consider, OP, is outside of London the public transport is dire, by comparison. You'll spend far more time in your car, especially as the kids get older and want ferrying around. You'll find yourself memorising the fictional bus timetable, rather than just waiting for the next one in a couple of minutes, and remember there is no tube or overground.

Isa, Witches, curry and I have all told you you're talking bollocks. Why not give up gracefully now?

* I was 21 & at a wedding & assumed we could walk home from the pub the night before but obviously we couldn’t.

At 1am? we just did what everyone else did & got a taxi.

Why does everything on MN have to turn into an argument?

Op ,does you OH have a view of all this?If he is stressed at a 30min tube commute then other options are more or less closed to you.
Also what about London might you miss,what do you do,?
As for making friends being part of a community,your mother did it.How many people on your road do you know by name or even just to nod too.Your friends are going talk to them , visit,holiday in this country.
You both need to look at your lifestyle,what is essential and go from there.

genever my son goes to a little catholic school in Bolton in his class of about thirty at least half are not white British , there are african,indian,polish, quite a lot of chinese families London is not the only place immigrants come to the ignorance on this thread is quite astounding

Allwashedup I think lots of people join MN by way of threads they've come across in other on-line media. Those threads tend to be AIBU threads. They think that's the way MN is. Penisbeaker was also a dogwhistle for the dull.

Then there is the added factor that mobile phone access to social media ends to favour short responses + the old 'anonymity of the internet' thing.

Result: weird arguments about nothing.

Nyx1 we do have DH parents to consider.

Thanks InspMorse

herethereandeverywhere I recently passed my test after deciding I needed to learn now the kids have come along.

But is it a "vibrant" school 2boys?

Why does everything on MN have to turn into an argument?

It doesn't. But if you post in aibu with "OMG, how can humans survive outside the Greater London area, there are not even buses and everything sucks" then what do you expect?

Allwashedup I think lots of people join MN by way of threads they've come across in other on-line media. Those threads tend to be AIBU threads. They think that's the way MN is. Penisbeaker was also a dogwhistle for the dull.

Then there is the added factor that mobile phone access to social media ends to favour short responses + the old 'anonymity of the internet' thing.

Result: weird arguments about nothing.

Cat I love you dearly but look at the thread title and first line of the OP?

How could this NOT get tetchy?

We left London a couple of years ago.

There’s virtually no difference in our everyday lives at all. The vast wealth of cultural activities and opportunity happened around us there... because we worked, had dc and never really had the chance to do much of it anyway.

We do just as much stuff where we are now as we did then! The idea that we lived these exciting lives enriched by what was going on around us there was bollocks really. I love it up there but it stopped being worth it for me long ago.

it is Battleax whatever vibrant means !

Channeling the Prince of Wales? Very diplomatic If I find out what it means first, I'll PM you

Isa, Witches, curry and I have all told you you're talking bollocks.

Yet others agree with me. When were you 3 appointed the Thread Police?

OP stated she has not lived outside of London, so maybe is not aware of the state of Public Transport elsewhere. My experience is it is usually dire. I am perfectly entitled to express that opinion here, without others trying to bully me into silence.

I never even mentioned public transport & “Life after London” was just a turn a phrase. Clearly I should of said “should I leave my hometown which happens to be London & should I commute from the suburbs or up sticks to a new great city, & will I find it as good as I have it now?”. Didn’t seem as catchy tbh.

took me a minute to get that Battleax 'whatever love means' ha ha .

Battlax Fair enough.

I really miss London. However, when I was living there I was stressed out and skint. Commuting was really stressful! I think I miss the 'idea' of London, rather than the day-to-day reality.

@OneOfTheGrundys
There’s virtually no difference in our everyday lives at all. The vast wealth of cultural activities and opportunity happened around us there... because we worked, had dc and never really had the chance to do much of it anyway.

Some of the people we know in London and who have DC do/did these activities with their kids though (going for a walk in the parks, taking the kids to a museum, etc).
It's OK if you don't care much about cultural activities but at times living in a small town can be a bit restrictive for those who do because the opportunities aren't always there.

"London smells?"

It does. I stood outside The Savoy not long ago and the stench of sewers and shit was overpowering. You can be stood in the most expensive area in the country and feel like you're in the poorest.

I love London to visit for a weekend, I would absolutely loathe living there and would never raise children there either.

We are currently having this conversation OP! Move out of our Zone 1/2-border big terrace house that we are slaves to the mortgage or sell up and buy outright in a village somewhere in the Home Counties/South East. I think we will have to as can’t afford to live here and I’m due DC2 in a few weeks so won’t be working but God I’ll really really really really miss London. I love it here, I really do!

Ifailed you said that there are no overground trains outside of London! That's not opinion, it's nonsense! 😂