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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask what happens when you die?

433 replies

TeaAndAMarmiteSandwhich · 11/12/2017 22:58

... or more accurately, what you think happens?

I really really don't want to die (a good thing I guess! As I wasn't too bothered either way as a moody teen, but now I love life most of the time and want to hang around).

It's comforting to think there's a heaven, but I don't believe there is (and I'd probably get bored if I had to stay there for EVER). But when u die - is that it? Game over ? I'm not too keen on that idea either.

What do you think happens? and what would you like to think happens? Hmm

OP posts:
user838383 · 15/12/2017 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buttercupmeadow · 15/12/2017 16:58

pensionista just when i thought, for once a thread like this is staying nice, it's now getting a bit sneery and sarcastic. There's really no need for it.
Well you really are the lucky one out of the Billions of people in the world you have a hot line to this God. Please share the 'loads of proof'

Why so nasty? what on earth do you mean "a hotline to God" Confused
I really don't need to share my "proof", just suffice to say that on umpteen occasions my prayers have been answered, often in remarkable ways, also my grown up dd has had many spiritual encounters that prove beyond doubt that when you die there is more to come. Its proof to me..... why are you implying i think im special because of all the "billions" in the world who don't have the same faith. For one how do you know they don't, and also maybe they would if they opened their hearts to God and accepted him.

And fine you don't believe in God, nobody's making you, but less of the nastiness to those that do, people are giving their thoughts and views to the Op, don't read the thread if it bothers you that much.
.

Pensionista · 15/12/2017 17:08

Nasty? That's rich, have you read through my threads ? Take a look at yours and Liz70. It's not me that's bothered about this thread, it's not me that started the nastiness.
Seems to me you and Liz have a lot in common. I don't agree with you or her, so what, I could care less if you don't agree with me. I have the right to give my views as much as you, and the right to stick up for myself if I'm being insulted. Bye.

buttercupmeadow · 15/12/2017 17:13

Yes nasty, your posts towards me and Liz are NASTY. What do you mean "that's rich", please point out one of my posts that is nasty. So, besides bring nasty, you also lie. Oh dear.

Pensionista · 15/12/2017 18:02

Okay Buttercup, I didn't realize you were so sensitive, the comment about the 'hotline to God I could have said better, but that is the only so called nasty comment I have made to you. I acknowledged your comments and asked lots of questions which seem to cause you offence, that was not my intention, but You make statements of your experience as though they were facts, that when questioned (sheer curiosity) it seems to cause offence. Saying I lie, I find offensive as I don't lie, I make mistakes yes, but I don't lie. Reading back through your and Liz70 threads it's Liz70 that has been nasty, yours no, you just didn't answer my questions. I actually said maybe it's better to agree to disagree as it's futile to have a decent debate with some one who has such strong beliefs.
Definition of a belief....Beliefs are FEELINGS of certainty NOT FACTS, except of course to the believer. So I wish you well and am ending on a more positive note, I hope.

buttercupmeadow · 15/12/2017 19:01

Well we'll agree to disagree, but it really is futile to ask someone to prove God exists, and usually only results in the person asking feel superior knowing it can't be given. I also think it makes them feel they've proved a point, which they haven't. The OP asked what we thought happened when we die. I did what she asked, told her what i thought happened. What gives anyone the right to contradict my beliefs. It certainly doesn't make me think i'm wrong. You tell her what you think, i'll tell her what i think, job done. No need to argue.

BlackEyedKid · 15/12/2017 19:05

People of faith - whether in God or the afterlife or whatever - tend to have a very different idea to most people of what constitutes proof and evidence 😁

hmmmmm · 15/12/2017 19:17

It always amazes me how worked up folk get over things they don't believe in. I don't believe in fairies, some do. I couldn't be arsed arguing about it. Especially with strangers.

Vitalogy · 15/12/2017 20:14

A person can't prove to another what the truth is, but you can prove it to yourself by using yourself as the measure. Now, the next question might be, well, how can you use yourself as the measure. You have to be open in the first instance to whatever that truth may be. Open in a way where there's no judgement, which is difficult with the ego that we all have. The ego has to be broken down somewhat to bring the true self to the surface.

Nightshirt · 15/12/2017 21:24

@Pensionista, "An intelligence like that would not have an ego, so therefore would not want to be 'worshiped'"

I used to ponder this. Why does a God need to be worshipped? I read a piece on this which argued God is love. In life we all have things we prioritise, worship can be another word for prioritise. If God is the source of love, as some religions claim, worshipping love/goodness/God over say something else will bring us the most satisfaction. Appreciate this might not satisfy you but just sharing one explanation I have read about the reason people are called to worship God.

ticketstub · 15/12/2017 21:49

I believe in reincarnation. So, when we die, I think we go to a central place. There is no heaven and no hell. And 'god' or some committee talks to us about what we learnt from this life, why we made mistakes etc and how we can strive to be 'better' in the next life. Then we have a rest in 'heaven' with old friends and family. And then when we're ready, we return to earth for another life in which to learn the lessons we need. And this is why some people seem more mature than others as some people are older souls than others. I believe this, and it gives mevery a sense of peace and purpose.

ItchybodBrain · 15/12/2017 22:00

See,this fascinated me ^

You’ve invented a whole process with absolutely no reason to think it’s true, just because you like the idea.

I just can’t get my head round that.

Littlemissamy · 15/12/2017 22:01

Pensionista - I’m happy believing what I believe, he’s happy believing what he believes. It’s rude to say things like “He’s been brainwashed”. I am a firm atheist, but I still respect what he believes, because I’m not a nasty cow.

Vitalogy · 15/12/2017 22:11

Sounds very like Buddhism to me. ticketstub is just using there own describing words.

ShovingLeopard · 16/12/2017 01:06

Yes, the process that ticketstubs is describing is well known, and has been described many times by those in spirit via mediums. The various accounts sometime differ slightly in the detail, but tend to be remarkably congruent in terms of the bigger picture.

TDHManchester · 16/12/2017 09:57

For those who want an interesting read on something peripheral but reevant try

"stiff" by Mary Roach. The curious lives of human cadavers

ItchybodBrain · 16/12/2017 10:41

Yes but there’s no evidence that mediums get any information from those in “spirit” so they’re not in a position to confirm anything are they? 🙄

Medeci · 16/12/2017 10:59

You’ve invented a whole process with absolutely no reason to think it’s true, just because you like the idea.

Isn't this what we all do?
I believe that death is the end, and that there's no such thing as a soul or spirit that continues after we die. I chose to believe this because it seems the most comforting option to me.
But there's no proof.

Vitalogy · 16/12/2017 11:01

Yes but there’s no evidence that mediums get any information from those in “spirit” so they’re not in a position to confirm anything are they? What sort of evidence would satisfy you though. I've not been to a medium myself but the people that have and do go get all the evidence they need by the sounds of it. Of course they'll been many con artists in this field too. I have spoken to a couple of people that have been, saying that there was no possible way that they could have made up the sort of information that was given.
I've not made up my mind about it as of yet. The only way anyone would know for sure is to experience it themselves.

violetsue · 16/12/2017 13:27

For those who want an interesting read on something peripheral but reevant try

"stiff" by Mary Roach. The curious lives of human cadavers
Sounds wonderful Grin

ShovingLeopard · 16/12/2017 17:17

Itchy there is plenty of evidence to satisfy many individuals that they are receiving genuine communication from their loved ones. However, it is very tricky to provide the kind of evidence demanded by sceptics, on a large scale. However many times individuals explain a medium told them something nobody could have know, others will assert the medium could have found it out another way (however far-fetched that possible alternative explanation might be). As Vitalogy says, there are also con artists, who unhelpfully confuse the picture and add fuel to the idea that it is all a con.

violetsue · 16/12/2017 17:42

I wonder....just what kind of evidence do the sceptics expect, they really won't get any with their closed minds and determination to discount everything they hear.

ItchybodBrain · 16/12/2017 17:46

But the con artists are known to provide as good, and often even better “evidence” than the “genuine” ones. Enough for people to view it as proof.

So how do you tell the difference?

ItchybodBrain · 16/12/2017 17:48

Violet - any would be good. If any medium ever took part in proper controlled tests and did any good that would be reason to at least consider it might be true.

But they never, ever, EVER have. Wonder why?

ShovingLeopard · 16/12/2017 18:36

Itchy the cold reading 'evidence' tends to be way more general than the type of evidence that is truly incontrovertible to the sitter.

When spirit are able to speak to their loved ones still here, often the first thing they want to say is how much they love them. While this is lovely to hear - and ultimately the whole point of why the individual has come for a sitting - it doesn't, of course, prove anything in itself. However, if they can maintain the connection with the medium, often what follows is more evidential. Sometimes it can be a specific piece of information that clinches it for the sitter, sometime it can be an accummulation of things that, taken together, add up to the sitter knowing it is really the person they hoped to hear from.

I once, while sitting in a development circle, got a link with the husband of the person i was practising on, and he told me something I would never in a million years have thought to say, yet it was extremely evidential to the sitter. The man in spirit had been a singer songwriter, quite famous within his own niche, but not within the mainstream. I had never heard of him or his music, as I am not interested in the genre, and it was 30 years before my time. He told me to say a phrase that sounded fairly innocuous, but strange to say to a woman. He was insistent I say it verbatim, though I was sure I must have misheard. In the end, I just said what I was hearing, to be told it was very evidential, as it was the title of one of his songs. The wife was in no doubt I was speaking to her husband. I wish I could write the phrase here, as you would be able to see how very unlikely it was that anybody would think of it, but it would be outing.

Of course, a sceptic could come along and say I had somehow researched the sitter and found out about her husband, his death, his music etc, but both she and I knew full well I hadn't. Actually, when I tried to research them online later on, I found I couldn't link her and him because his stage name was different to their married name.