To not buy Ex's school photos?

[AngelOfMusic]

I contacted my Ex about ordering school photos, he wanted me to order a package for him and his family which I did and I told him how much it would be.

He pays maintenance every month (£400+) and he thinks that the money that I receive should be used to by his school photos for himself and his family as it's to do with the children and he pays maintenance.

I don't think that's right but would love to hear what others think.

Yeah, nah. If he wants photos give him the company used and he can order them himself.

YANBU. If he wants pictures he needs to buy his own.

Unless the £400 is giving you a massive surplus every month then IMO extras should be paid for by each parent. School photos are an extra, like a school trip payment would be an extra cost too.

Erm no, he wants photos he pays for photos. Maintenance is to help towards the general living costs

YANBU. His maintenance payment is for him to contribute to their living costs.

Not for him to cover the cost of photos.

Ridiculous!

Something he should be buying himself surely?

Why the hell are you still doing his wifework after you are divorced? Why can't he fill in a form or use a computer to order photos? Catch yourself on next time. What other life admin do you still do for his lordship?

I contacted my Ex about ordering school photos

This was your first mistake. He should be getting the communications from the school himself. He is an ex. This is now all his own responsibility.

I'd just laugh at the idea that maintenance for a child should be used to pay for something for the parent giving the maintenance.

Child maibtence is for paying for things that are for the children. The photos aren't for the children, they are for him.

He has never been interested in how the DC are doing at school, doesn't ask about how they're getting on at all. They're both Autistic and he's been to 1 appointment for 1 DC.

The only communication we have is when he picks them up and drops them off where he tells me things like 'Bob' didn't eat his vegetables so he's been naughty or 'they've been miserable today.

I've always contacted him about school photos and how the appointments go, perhaps I should stop.

Thank you for agreeing with me, I tend to doubt myself a lot and this has helped.

Get him to order his own.

No you shouldn't pay for the photos. If he wants the photos he must pay for them himself.

Stop doing shit for him Jesus Christ

I buy the set of 4 desk photos (approx £10) when DD gets her school photos done. I buy 2 cheap frames from Wilko and DD gives one of the framed photos to her Dad for Christmas and one to his parents. Its a cheap gift, DDs happy shes given them a present and I dont have to go looking for them in the shops.

He's having a laugh, isn't he? What a nerve!

Send him the link and codes to the photo website and let him order his own set if he wants them.

Of course he should be buying his own photos/gifts for himself and his extended family.

Not only that, they're expensive!

What beware said.

This is what I have just done.

Let him order and pay for his own photos.

Sounds like she's already paid and he's objecting to re-imbursing her.

Re-reading.

I’m not clear. Did you tell him the options of packages before you bought one for him? As in, option 1 is x option 2 y amount?

He still should be ordering his own though

Hah! That's a good one! What a joker

Maintenance, as others have said, is for food, heat, clothing, shelter etc

Has he always been such a nob trying?

You’re his Ex wife, not his PA.

I used to do this with my ex and I stopped getting him copies of reports etc and he never bothered to get any of his own. Just stop. If he's bothered he will attend appointments and show an interest but I think from your post that's highly doubtful. I'd wrap them up off the kids for Xmas if there's no way he will pay for them!

Had this exact same argument with my ex!

He thought his pathetic amount of maintenance should cover things like this (about £30 a week) and even told me his solicitor had told him that! She might well have done because she's a twat but I told him to jog on and stop being so ridiculous.

He couldn't even be bothered to pay the £7 it was going to cost him so he missed out.

Unless the £400 is giving you a massive surplus every month then IMO extras should be paid for by each parent.

A surplus should go into the kids savings' accounts. It's their money. He doesn't get rebates.

And stop being his PA, OP. He clearly doesn't appreciate it (and when do they ever, it just seems to confirm doormat status to them). And don't give him pictures as gifts either, not unless he buys you a gift, and I strongly suspect he doesn't.