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AIBU?

To be shocked at teacher telling DD to 'hold in' period.

727 replies

yaela123 · 11/12/2017 18:41

DD is 15 and her school have a no going to the toilet during lesson time rule, which I completely agree with on the whole as I know how disruptive it can be if people are constantly in and out, and how everyone just uses it as an excuse to bunk off (I am a teacher too - very different environment though)

Only exception is if you have a medical note from a doctor.

Today in one of her lessons DD says she could feel that she really needed to change her pad, she was getting quite worried about it leaking. She eventually asked the (male) teacher if she could go to the loo.

Teacher: No, you know the rules
DD: I really need it.
Teacher: What did I just say?
DD: It's a girl problem...
Teacher: What do you mean?
DD: Umm... I'm on my period
Teacher: Break is only in half an hour, hold it in til then

Obviously those aren't the exact words said but she says it's pretty accurate.
DD is quite shy so did just wait til break (no leakage btw).

She doesn't seem overly bothered but AIBU to be pretty shocked at him telling her to hold it in? Surely even men have some basic idea that it doesn't work like that?

OP posts:
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AssassinatedBeauty · 11/12/2017 18:59

@penggwyn that's ridiculous.

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booellesmum · 11/12/2017 18:59

I think I would speak to the school to clarify their policy.
There is a massive difference between a headache and a migraine.
There is a massive difference between a period and flooding.
Those who do experience flooding really need to be able to go to the toilet when they need to. Yes, periods are a part of life and we have to learn how to cope with them and get on with life - but flooding is a whole different ball game and some women can't even leave the house on those days.

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BarbarianMum · 11/12/2017 18:59

I found as a young teen that it took a few years to get the hang of managing my periods. Learning to recognise the signs that one was due, working out which days were likely to be heavy flow, knowing how often I needed to change towels. Maybe some find it easy - I didn't. Doubt that I was the only one.

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AlexanderHamilton · 11/12/2017 18:59

One day we had to put a towel on the sofa for dd to sit on. Another day she set of on a car journey wearing the highest absorbency tampon & a towel. They had to stop at the services 35 mins later as she was soaked & she needed a change of clothes.

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gillybeanz · 11/12/2017 18:59

I have always been heavy and started very young, by the time I was 12 it was very heavy.
I think a young girl flooding like that after just changing should see a doctor OP.
If it's interfering with your day to day life, it needs medical intervention.
The doctor gave me tablets and a note to go to the toilet when needed.

Maybe the male teacher wasn't expecting the dd to talk so openly about a period and said this as you would if they wanted the loo.

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theavianexecutioner · 11/12/2017 18:59

Pig. Report the shit out of him

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yaela123 · 11/12/2017 19:00

AmiU Maths fortunately

OP posts:
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Sparklingbrook · 11/12/2017 19:00

I think backing away is for the best TBH, how strange to think people would lie.

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RidingWindhorses · 11/12/2017 19:00

Basic lack of understand of female biology and yes he absolutely needs a word.

You can easily flood a pad in 5 mins.

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Pengggwn · 11/12/2017 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 11/12/2017 19:01

Why would they bother lying?

It’s far more likely you are being deliberately obtuse and choosing to dismiss other people’s experiences.

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Sparklingbrook · 11/12/2017 19:01

Don't comment any more then. Grin

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cakeymccakington · 11/12/2017 19:01

Nobody has said that they repeatedly flood a pad within 5 minutes

But it can happen. For me I would have a "Medium" flow punctuated by sudden gushes. Which yes, would leak within 5 minutes

After changing I could go a few hours (usually, not always) before having another one.
But they didn't happen at set times.

I used to wake 2 or 3 times in the night absolutely soaked and go to the loo and I could barely walk without it falling out of my and down my legs.

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AngelsWithSilverWings · 11/12/2017 19:01

OMG I can't believe someone can be so dismissive of this problem! Endometriosis is a horrible condition and yes it does cause awful flooding. ( and excruciating pain ) Thank God for my Mirena cool - it's been life changing!

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Migraleve · 11/12/2017 19:02

Tbh it sounds like the teacher just used the usual turn of phrase 'hold it in' and didn't mean anything other than 'wait'

I wouldn't complain, if there is an issue with your DD periods then get a doctors note so she can arrange a pass with school. Also don't assume the teacher doesn't know his biology, he has probably heard it all a thousand times and threw it the standard 'hold it in' rather than choosing words specific to the situation.

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Thegirlinthefireplace · 11/12/2017 19:03

As usual the parade of people declaring that as its never happened to them it's impossible.

OP yes I would speak to them about it, perhaps it was a misunderstanding. Two hours could easily be too long for me on one of my heavier days.

I worry by daughter will inherit my heavy/painful periods and will have problems like this and refusal of paracetamol etc

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CosmicCanary · 11/12/2017 19:03

I can't help what I do and don't think is credible.

What a nerve you have to accuse women of lying about their period.

Christ are you this stupid in rl?

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GinSoddenWhore · 11/12/2017 19:03

Less than 5 minutes to flood a sanitary towel? Maybe if you're bleeding to death

Happens to my daughter sometimes and no she wasn't bleeding to death. Nor am I lieing. How bizarre to think that people would lie about this. Do you always think you're right?

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HoneyBadgerApparently · 11/12/2017 19:03

Just to explain to anyone who doesn't struggle with this, no one means they are filling 12 pads an hour, just that they could fill one in 5 minutes if they had sudden flooding... due to change in position after the cervix being tilted causing pooling (like sitting up straight after slouching) or just after a bad cramp. Why would someone lie? Google it.

Also a normal sanitary towel holds only 5ml of blood. There is 5000ml of blood in human body, so full pad does not equal bleeding to death.

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RidingWindhorses · 11/12/2017 19:03

Credible on what score? To a woman who clearly doesn't know much about gynaecology or the kind of issues some women have with menstruation.

I would had thought that kind of ignorance was invented frankly, but I fear it's true.

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Sanshin · 11/12/2017 19:03

12 pads an hour 😂 But yeah sorry Pengggwn but not everyone is exactly the same as you. It's like saying that people who get abdominal cramps during their periods are lying because you don't get them! Very odd.

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AssassinatedBeauty · 11/12/2017 19:04

If he knew his biology he'd know that saying "hold it in" is idiotic and impossible.

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MirriVan · 11/12/2017 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbarianMum · 11/12/2017 19:04

But if you literally can't hold it in then what he is, in effect, saying is sit and soil yourself. Which is not acceptable. Better to let the child go and punish them afterwards, if you feel that's justified.

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Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 11/12/2017 19:04

Ah, this reminds me of my school days...the classrooms resounded to the wails of 14 year old girls - "but I NEEEEED to go NOW Mr Kelly, it's my PEEEEERIOD!".

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