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AIBU?

To be shocked at teacher telling DD to 'hold in' period.

727 replies

yaela123 · 11/12/2017 18:41

DD is 15 and her school have a no going to the toilet during lesson time rule, which I completely agree with on the whole as I know how disruptive it can be if people are constantly in and out, and how everyone just uses it as an excuse to bunk off (I am a teacher too - very different environment though)

Only exception is if you have a medical note from a doctor.

Today in one of her lessons DD says she could feel that she really needed to change her pad, she was getting quite worried about it leaking. She eventually asked the (male) teacher if she could go to the loo.

Teacher: No, you know the rules
DD: I really need it.
Teacher: What did I just say?
DD: It's a girl problem...
Teacher: What do you mean?
DD: Umm... I'm on my period
Teacher: Break is only in half an hour, hold it in til then

Obviously those aren't the exact words said but she says it's pretty accurate.
DD is quite shy so did just wait til break (no leakage btw).

She doesn't seem overly bothered but AIBU to be pretty shocked at him telling her to hold it in? Surely even men have some basic idea that it doesn't work like that?

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BarbarianMum · 11/12/2017 18:52

I'd arranfe a quiet chat with the teacher and ask him to explain how one "holds a period in". And, if he does know, steal the technique, wright a book and make your fortune - I'd pay good money to be able to do this!

Unfortunately he is likely to be one of the guys who think bleeding works like having a wee.

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PuzzledOfPenzance · 11/12/2017 18:52

I would complain. You can flood a pad in less than 5 minutes. Also it's the "hold it in" comment which is fucking stupid and needs correcting.

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Sanshin · 11/12/2017 18:52

Reminds me of when I was in Venice, I was on my period but use tampons. DH and I are walking down a canal and all of a sudden I look down and realise my crotch is bright red. Absolutely mortified. I must have flooded without realising and there was no hiding it. This was only 2 years ago so I still want to crawl into a hole when I think about it. Women can and do flood unexpectedly!!!

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Pengggwn · 11/12/2017 18:52

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Pengggwn · 11/12/2017 18:53

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PinkAvocado · 11/12/2017 18:54

I’d complain. As others have said, sometimes you do get a gush of blood and who is he to think he knows your daughter’s body better than her.

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TracyBeakerSoYeah · 11/12/2017 18:54

What an idiot.
This could have turned out really bad e.g leaking, embarrassment, humiliation etc.
Luckily it didn't.

And fwiw not everyone's periods are the same.

I think you need to speak to the school as long as your DD is happy for you to do that.

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AmiU · 11/12/2017 18:54

Tell me it wasn't a Biology teacher

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Sparklingbrook · 11/12/2017 18:55

It's happened to me Pengggwn, and no, I was not bleeding to death.

Luckily my Diary Doll pants saved me from any embarrassment. Smile

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Blahblahblahzeeblah · 11/12/2017 18:55

The hold it in comment was dumb but I do sympathise with the teacher a little. I imagine plenty of girls would soon cotton on to the fact that despite not usually being allowed out of lessons, claiming you had your period would give you a free pass.

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AlexanderHamilton · 11/12/2017 18:55

You are fortunate never to have suffered from mennoraggea (sp) then penggg. You can pass huge clots without warning & flood. My dd isn't actually allowed to go to the toilet alone whilst on her period because of the risk of fainting.

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Sallystyle · 11/12/2017 18:56

Less than 5 minutes to flood a sanitary towel? Maybe if you're bleeding to death

I do it regularly.

In fact, I once flooded a tampon which fell out in 5 minutes of putting it in.

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CosmicCanary · 11/12/2017 18:56

Periods are not the same for everyone so the "mine isnt like that so why is yours" always amaze me Hmm

I leaked in a lesson once. I was too scared to ask to go to the toilet. I was ridiculed by some in my class. It was fucking awful.

My periods were all over the place when I first started. Some days barely anything other days it was constant and I had to double up. They sorted themselves out after a couple of years but until then I was caught out more than once.

The teacher was an idiot. I would speak to the school.

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cakeymccakington · 11/12/2017 18:56

I'm genuinely shocked at the number of women on here who are assuming that those of us with ridiculously heavy periods are lying.

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Pengggwn · 11/12/2017 18:56

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AngelsWithSilverWings · 11/12/2017 18:57

I used to have very sudden gushes and used to have to carry a change of clothes with me as no pad , no matter how super absorbent,would stop me flooding. Ever so embarrassing and very uncomfortable to have to sit and wait before going to clean yourself up.

I'm very envious of the women on here who have never experienced it.

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alltheworld · 11/12/2017 18:57

Would it be ok to tell adults when they could or could not take action to stop themselves leaking blood?

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yaela123 · 11/12/2017 18:57

I don't think she has unusually heavy periods, but definitely not light!

She says it was pretty obvious to him that she was on her period and he definitely said to hold it in.

I'm sure that lots of girls would use it as an excuse though - it's a tricky one for teachers to judge

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Pengggwn · 11/12/2017 18:57

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PinkAvocado · 11/12/2017 18:57

Why would they lie?!

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HoneyBadgerApparently · 11/12/2017 18:58

This is ridiculous, I had undiagnosed endometriosis in high school and would have random clotting that meant I would immediately need to use the bathroom Blush. If a male teacher said this I would be absolutely mortified, you should definitely complain!

Flowers for your DD for having to deal with the inconsiderate man Angry

For future use a mooncup could be useful for your DD? A find they contain any spills (sorry for TMI) and are a lot less intrusive than tampons.

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cakeymccakington · 11/12/2017 18:58

And no, you don't have to be bleeding to death.
If you get a BIG gush of blood a pad simply can't soak it up quick enough and it leaks.

I would regularly pass clots the size of large strawberries accompanied by huge amounts of blood.
Please don't be patronising enough to tel me I can't leak through a pad in 5 minutes

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Sparklingbrook · 11/12/2017 18:58

I can't believe I am having to justify this to you Pengggwn but it wasn't 12 pads an hour. Just an occasional uncontrollable gush, once every so often that would need me to go running for the loo.

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Sallystyle · 11/12/2017 18:58

How pathetic to think people are lying because their periods aren't like yours. WTF would people lie? I am embarrassed for you.

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CosmicCanary · 11/12/2017 18:58

Yes of course people lie about menstrating....get a fucking grip.

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