To be shocked at teacher telling DD to 'hold in' period.

[yaela123]

DD is 15 and her school have a no going to the toilet during lesson time rule, which I completely agree with on the whole as I know how disruptive it can be if people are constantly in and out, and how everyone just uses it as an excuse to bunk off (I am a teacher too - very different environment though)

Only exception is if you have a medical note from a doctor.

Today in one of her lessons DD says she could feel that she really needed to change her pad, she was getting quite worried about it leaking. She eventually asked the (male) teacher if she could go to the loo.

Teacher: No, you know the rules
DD: I really need it.
Teacher: What did I just say?
DD: It's a girl problem...
Teacher: What do you mean?
DD: Umm... I'm on my period
Teacher: Break is only in half an hour, hold it in til then

Obviously those aren't the exact words said but she says it's pretty accurate.
DD is quite shy so did just wait til break (no leakage btw).

She doesn't seem overly bothered but AIBU to be pretty shocked at him telling her to hold it in? Surely even men have some basic idea that it doesn't work like that?

Is Pengggwn the 'lie detector troll?'

Because if you didn't believe my earlier post, or the google search I directed you to; if you believe that endometrial ablation and taking tranexamic acid are therapies for those silly lying women who do not understand that periods are light and fluffy, and that they should be skipping around in country field a la timotei adverts; if you simply cannot fathom these things then I despair for the generation of children who have you for their teacher. Your lack of understanding and empathy is vast.

I'm guessing you're getting some kind of fix from the attention. Perhaps 'Attention-whore troll' would suit you better?

And no I'm not calling troll; I actually believe people can be that ignorant. I'm not, but I have the ability to understand that not everyone has the same experience emotional intelligence as I do.

Now you did promise to leave the thread. You don't want to be thought of as a liar now do you?

Please do contact the teacher. And let him know a few basic facts about female biology. Someone whose job it is to impart wisdom, and he has the reproductive knowledge of a 7 year old. And someone on this thread trying to back him up

Perhaps there are a few talented souls out there with complete muscular control over their cervix and the shedding of their womb walls, but they are exceptions, and probably not the majority of kids who need to use the loos in lesson time. I went to school with a girl who would suddenly flood her seat, no matter when she'd changed her sanpro. Anyone who refuses to let a girl of menstruating age use the loo when they ask to is just being a nasty controlling fucker of a person.

I never suffered with periods until after having children. They were light, short lasting, no pain. Total opposite now. I can change a pad then literally flood it in a matter of minutes, no I don't mean I have to change pads 10+ in an hour or anything, just that I can have episodes of flooding. I can't believe how bitchy this place can be some times. If it is a problem for your daughter I would speak to your doctor for a note and to the school. I wouldn't expect to have to wait for half an hour if I was desperate to change a pad so why should she.

I have light periods. Three day max, mostly cope with light tampons and pantyliners. Yet even I've had the odd clot/flooding situation. It never would have occured to me this was anything unusual to women. I'm just thankful no one's ever tried to police my access to toilets - in school or afterwards!

I suffer from very heavy periods and can soak thorough 2 lilets ultra and a pad in 30 minutes. However what I find most shocking about pengwynn is that she is mumsnetting whilst she is marking. SO glad she doesn't teach my DC.................

JemimaLovesHamble
As quite a few of us have said (though obviously not as loudly as those preaching the 'haha how ignorant someone should teach him basic biology' stuff) the most logical explanation is clumsy wording 'picl n mix' stock phrases we say when saying no to students wanting ti leave for the toilet.

If the OP wishes to raise it then it's worth chatting to the teacher, if her child was bothered (which she wasn't). If she is concerned and would like to discuss the toilet pass / period issues sitiation with a head of year then tjat might be appropriate too maybe get a pass which her DD would be trusted not to misuse (DD sounds lovely).
Anything along the lines of 'call up complain about what ifs and fill him in on biology' is simply the type of crap that makes you the subject of staffroom chatter for all the wrong reasons.

Calls women liars

Gets aggy when people claim they are lying.

Yeah, no hypocricy there...

Blimey, I've quickly flooded through to outer layers several times. I don't think that's so unusual.
Young girls in particular can have v heavy periods.

Harriet how can you misunderstand "I'm on my period"?

I don’t see a problem with MNing while marking. I’d imagine it mostly involves marking a few students work then taking a quick break and checking your phone.

However what I find most shocking about pengwynn is that she is mumsnetting whilst she is marking. SO glad she doesn't teach my DC.................
Is it shocking? Really?
I've MNetted whilst marking. It's my own time.
A class set of books in detail can take 3-4 hours when it's a big set of books. I'm well within my rights to have music on, telly in thr background, have a break and MN to break up reading 30 x 3 A4 side essays. Sure my breaks probably push the marking time up to 4-5 hours but sometimes you just need it.
Though usually i mark in chunks of 10 with no phone so i can get through it quicker and i hate marking full sets

Anyway, disagree as much as you like with a poster but there's no need for 'im so glad so and so doesn't teach my.children' because they have MN open whilst they mark.

Why are people trying to diagnose the dd with medical conditions or regaling us with their irrelevant flooding stories?

OP has said twice I don't think she does have especially heavy periods

And giving girls of menstruating age a period pass

MaisyPops
However what I find most shocking about pengwynn is that she is mumsnetting whilst she is marking. SO glad she doesn't teach my DC.................
Is it shocking? Really?
I've MNetted whilst marking. It's my own time.

Bet you allowed yourself as many visits to the toilet as you liked!

This thread is upsetting. I'd rather 10 girls went on an unneeded toilet break than 1 girl bled through in a lesson.

^

Things I have learned today: that there are apparently two types of people:

Those who would rather 10 girls went on an unneeded toilet break than 1 girl bled through in a lesson.

And

Those who would are OK that a girl might be denied sanitary access and bleed through because reasons.

Gatekeeping hygiene facilities from a girl old enough to have periods as some kind of 'discipline' is twisted and frankly misogyny.

If it is a problem for your daughter I would speak to your doctor for a note and to the school

Why does the OP need a doctor's note? It's not something that needs to be medically documented. Women have periods once a month (on average). So they need to go to the loo at unpredictable times - you don't need to have heavy periods, sometimes you just get a lot more blood coming out than at other times and it doesn't decide to come out neatly in breaks between lessons. Nobody needs a GP's letter for this.

The teacher is a fucking idiot. I won't comment on some of the posters on this thread.

Bet you allowed yourself as many visits to the toilet as you liked!
Well, yes. Because it's my own time and I'm not at work.

But if i had a class doing an assessment in my room whilst i was marking then i wouldn't be on MN and wouldn't go to the toilet when i wanted.

I don't get your dig. I've already said i use discretion in line with our school policy, or has this thread reached the 'find people who are teachers and have a pop' stage?

Gatekeeping hygiene facilities from a girl old enough to have periods as some kind of 'discipline' is twisted and frankly misogyny.

Spot on.

Ipre this is mn you need a GP letter for everything. Surprised nobody has suggested logging it with the police

How about teachers accept periods as being normal natural and unpredictable.
Instead of all the girls fault.

Tell her just to walk out next time and go to the loo. Most teachers - if they see you walk back in calmly 5 minutes later will let it slide and assume you 'needed' to go rather than using as an excuse to bunk off. If they don't then you can back her up. As a teen I used to have awful periods (still do) and would definitely HAVE to go sometimes without much warning to save my outfit

We (the school) are legally accountable if the student was meant to be in a classroom and was hurt somewhere or got into trouble because the teacher let them go to the toilet

What on earth do you think is going to happen? Someone walks to the loo, sorts herself out, returns to the classroom. Is your school full of axe-wiedling zombies or something?

Things I have learned today: that there are apparently two types of people:
I've learned there's a group of people who present 2 options at opposite ends of a spectrum in order to intentionally simplify a debate when in reality there's not 2 camps at all.

More likely, there's a range if views and a middle ground which is where most teachers fit which goes something like this:
'People who know students take the piss and because of this follow a school policy of not in lessons however we have some common sense and let people go when it's clear they are genuine because we know our students'.
It worls pretty well. Students know they can ask if they really need it but also know not to take the piss. Consequently those of us in yhe sensible middle ground don't get plagued with endless requests like some of our colleagues but equally the students know we are fair and reasonable, unlike blanket ban colleagues.

Started to reply to this thread earlier but RL intervened.
There are some seriously odd "women" out there - yes some teenage girls will lie about their periods to get out of things but to say that because of those then teachers should allow girls to flood and leak is just plain wrong.

I would question whether some of the posters saying sudden flooding cant happen and that all women and girls can manage their periods without accidents have actually ever had a period themselves.