To be shocked at teacher telling DD to 'hold in' period.

[yaela123]

DD is 15 and her school have a no going to the toilet during lesson time rule, which I completely agree with on the whole as I know how disruptive it can be if people are constantly in and out, and how everyone just uses it as an excuse to bunk off (I am a teacher too - very different environment though)

Only exception is if you have a medical note from a doctor.

Today in one of her lessons DD says she could feel that she really needed to change her pad, she was getting quite worried about it leaking. She eventually asked the (male) teacher if she could go to the loo.

Teacher: No, you know the rules
DD: I really need it.
Teacher: What did I just say?
DD: It's a girl problem...
Teacher: What do you mean?
DD: Umm... I'm on my period
Teacher: Break is only in half an hour, hold it in til then

Obviously those aren't the exact words said but she says it's pretty accurate.
DD is quite shy so did just wait til break (no leakage btw).

She doesn't seem overly bothered but AIBU to be pretty shocked at him telling her to hold it in? Surely even men have some basic idea that it doesn't work like that?

here

A friend of mine had periods so heavy she was passing clots the size of satsumas and passed out while driving. Gave herself concussion and broken nose several times too. She's a fully qualified GP of 25 years experience so doubt very much she was lying.

My own periods have seen me in hospital dozens of times on oramorph and anti sickness meds. I firmly believe my uterus has unfortunately ruled much of my life for the past 15 years. Periods can be utterly shit.

You called women liars.

2 hours is a long time. Yanbu op. She should be able to change it. As a teenager I would have leaked through a pad in 2 hours.

I have no idea if you are a teacher or a woman or whatever Pengggwn TBH but I know my periods are horrible. So not exaggerating because that would be a really weird thing to do.

Re. sudden floods - I eventually discovered I have a retroverted uterus. Think of it as being like a limp balloon that just flops. It gradually fills up, but because it's "folded over" (not literally, but best analogy I can come up with) the blood pools till it reaches a certain "fullness", at which point it pops back into shape and the blood floods out all in a gush. It's a fucker. I can feel it happening (after decades of practice) and now know when I need to get to the loo asap.

On and yes to a certain teacher on here being a nasty fucker on every single thread she joins.

I would once have imagined there were no men who could possibly be so ignorant about how periods work that they'd advise women to "hold it in" but then there was this guy: www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/teenage-meninist-sparks-fury-anti-9067035

What a lot of nightmare teachers are on this thread! I understand you don't want kids taking advantage of "the period card" but there are so many variables. What if a girl's period came on suddenly? Or she was trying to save money and thought she could make one pad last for two lessons so didn't change in the break, then realised she was flooding? Or the pad had just got twisted up in the wrong place and she needed to go and adjust it? It's not as simple as "they should just do it in the break".

mathanxiety
We sign a page in their homework diaries when we allow them out. It's part and parcel of us having discretion (of coutse you get some staff who are too cool to bother following it, but they are usually the ones the piss takers target).
I'll be honest. I like our system. Default is not in class but teachers exercise discretion.
You soon work out who is probably taking the piss / genuine when you know your classes and certain things set your teacher senses off either way

It's not perfect all the time but when i've been in schools where staff let loads of kids out whenever it has resulted in a blanket ban (which i don't agree with).

pengwynn women lying about heavy periods seems to be a strange hill to die on

Don't engage with the absurdity...

OP, I hope your daughter continues to be confident to deal with her period. I also hope that this particular teacher learns a little about female biology and remembers it next time he is asked the same thing.

And that isn't okay? Women don't ever lie? Don't be silly.

You decided because you had no experience of heavy periods every poster that does is a liar. That is very different to just saying women can lie.

You are the most ignorant poster I have come across on mn.

@RedSkyAtNight you have clearly never been cursed with heavy periods!!! There is no way to plan when to change your pad based on your "usual average".

I'm 27 and have been having periods since 12 and I still get a gush of blood sometimes when I stand up - especially if I've been sitting down which you would be if you were in class all day - and get the urge to run and change my pad!

YANBU a male teacher telling a student to hold her period in is ridiculous and I'd 100% be complaining!!

I am not sure what your aim is here TBH

To lose friends and alienate people...

I too suffered from gusher periods. I would get horrendous cramps and bleeding that came out in a gush followed by large clots sometimes as big as my index finger. I would faint every few months and even had to leave an O level exam due to excessive bleeding.

Finally a couple of years ago I finally found a pill that helps.

I couldn't stand and wait for permission to go to the bathroom, I would have just had to walk out.

I've seen other grown women flood through clothing and am disgusted that anyone, let alone another woman, would imply these things are exaggerations.

I hope you get this sorted OP. I am backing out of this thread now as it's all getting a bit strange here.
Sorry to all the people with horrible heavy periods, I really recommend the pants and mefenamic acid.

SwimmingInLemonade
Like I've said, in my opinion you can usually tell if they're being genuine.

I've had some horrendously behaved students around site in my class where they never aksed routinely to go to the loo (despite being well known for strolling around the site during toilet trips). When they've had a situation like you outline they are genuinely polite and quietly say 'miss can i go to the loo please' and when i say 'school policy is not during lessons' their reply is 'but, it's sort of... one of those things'. All polite and quiet.

You can generally tell.
Plus, because students know what my answer is on toilets they now only ask if it's genuine

A lot of the time badly behaved ones who don’t need to go will keep up the ‘Whyuh? Whyuh?’ thing, coupled with accusations of infringing their human rights, informing you and others they will wet themselves and threatening to get you sacked.

If they actually need to go they walk out!

Me too with the retroverted uterus.

I’m a teacher. I have been late for a class before because I have had a sudden gush of blood and soaked a new pad in 5 minutes without warning. I am in my 40s and still have unexpected things like this happen.

Anyone who doesn’t believe this happens because it doesn’t happen to them is ridiculous.