To be honest with OH about Christmas presents?

[WhyamIBoredathome]

I have been well trained by my parents to accept presents gratefully, as it is after all the thought that counts. This is the policy I have stuck to almost unfailingly until now.
But now I begin to wonder if it's a good idea...

Two years ago for Christmas OH bought me a decorative item for the home. Said item is not really to my taste, it's the sort of thing I think you would normally find in the home of someone 20-30 years older than us. However I thanked him graciously amd put item on display on upstairs landing (where I only see it in passing so it doesn't bother me as much).
I've just accidentally found my Christmas presents for this year while putting away laundry (he left them unwrapped on the top of his t-shirt drawer). He has got me another one in the same collection of decorative items. These things are not cheap, about £40 I think.

WIBU to be honest and tell him it's not really my taste? I don't want to be ungrateful but I'm a little worried that he will continue buying items from the collection and there's rather a lot of them. I really don't want to hurt his feelings but It seems like such a waste of money for something that I'd rather not have on display.

I am not at all grabby or materialistic before anyone accuses me of this. When he asked what I wanted I told him just a box of chocs and get the kids to make me some nice cards.

Normally I would say no, just leave it. But I think in this case if you hold your tounge you will get another one next year and be in an even harder situation !

Could you say something like I really like these two but I’m not a fan of having a collection of the same/similar items? Something where he doesn’t feel upset that you dont really like what he’s got but does stop him. Also maybe next year say that and ask for something specific?

I would be honest before you have a lifetime of this collection. I like witches and bought a very expensive one at a craft Fayre. A couple of years later I bought a different one. There followed years of people buying me witches, which I hated. I really did not want to display them. I am a complete minimalist.

It would break my heart to tell my DH I didn't like his presents. Even if they're not to my taste, I feel quite touched that he's bought me something and thought about what I'd like. I'd just put up with it to be honest.

Maybe the first item could have a mishap with the vacuum extension whilst dusting for Santa coming? Come clean that you didn't really 'bond' with it. Give him a place to purchase a better suited item - he still has time to change disaster item number 2!!

Is it Lladro? Don’t know why but that popped in my head 😁
I do think you’ll have to be honest with him to avoid getting a 3rd one. Either now and rip the plaster off quickly, or a reasonable time after Christmas. Definitely not Christmas Day so that it isn’t spoiled by man-sulking.

user not a bad idea actually to say that I don't like lots of similar things.

I did ask for something specific this year, I sent him the link to a box of hotel chocolat chocs I really wanted and asked him to get kids to me make me cards. I always make cards and pictures for him with them but because I'm the stay at home parent I never get any made for me, so I genuinely wanted a crazy toddler glittery glue bomb of a card.

heron that's why I didn't say anything last time. But the collection is enough to do at least 10 years of presents so if he keeps going that's a long time.
In all honesty I don't know why he thought I'd like it. I am pretty minimalist, I only have a couple of decorative items in the house, but they were made by my grandfather so have sentimental value more than aesthetic value. I have never expressed any liking for this type of object or anything similar. It's so opposite to my taste.

I don’t think normal politeness rules apply to a DH/DP tbh. My DH bought me a rather expensive handbag last year from a brand I like. However it was all wrong in terms of both colour and shape. Bearing in mind how much he had spent, it would have been completely foolish either not to say anything or to attempt to use a bag I didn’t like.

I told him, he exchanged it for one which is perfect in terms of colour and design, and I use it and love it everyday. Which is what he wanted!

Stop him before you end up with a collection.

DH bought me a swarovski crystal cat. As cute as it is (and I do actually quite like it), I do not want to collect swarovski crystal animals like his mother does. I told him it was lovely but I didn't want him to buy anymore as I think collecting items takes away the specialness of each individual item and they can't be appreciated fully when they're just part of a collection.

Would saying something like that help?

Oh my god you have to tell him! Years ago dh bought me a Swarovski pig. The next Xmas he bought me three Swarovski piglets! They're quite sweet but just not me. Fortunately he stopped after 4 but I am too polite to say anything.

I'd wait until Feb, take them down and say you went off them.

I think you can accept the gift politely and kindly on Christmas Day, but maybe a few days later have the really honest chat about it. You definitely don't want a lifetime of him buying these, so you have to say something.

I think you need to just rip off the plaster by telling him now. Yes, he might be a bit hurt and embarrassed but it's better to know now before he spends loads of money buying you the whole collection over the next decade!

Frankly - if, when asked, you say 'just a box of chocolates' you deserve whatever monstrosity you get!

Backbone, my friend. Backbone. (And stop being such a martyr. Ask for something good.)

If he's bought the thing in the same place as he got the first one, the shop sells lots of beautiful things, so would be easy to swap for something I like. Actually I think I'd probably have loved anything the shop sells except anything from this collection.

gruach a box of chocolates is good, I've been on a diet for ages so a box of chocolates is bloody amazing!

I agree that that level of politeness doesn't apply to partners. I always say what I love about the thought they put into it, but that it's not really my thing for X reason.

e.g. one year I got a 3DS and said how much I loved the amount of thought that went into it because I love games and it would be super handy for my journey into work, but that the 3D bit hurts my head, so could we swap it for a 2DS so I can still play the games he bought me which were perfect.

Another time I was bought a yellow gold ring, and I really don't like yellow gold on me, so said how beautiful it was, but would he mind if I/we/he swapped it for the same thing/something similar in white gold instead as it suits me much better.

They were understandably a bit upset at having got it wrong, but were glad I told them so I could have something I really loved and would wear/use all the time

Ok - he can fill your Christmas stocking with chocolate. But pleeeease ask for a proper present too. He needs a challenge.

You obviously reacted like you loved the 1st one. Congratulations on your acting skills. I'm sure he'd rather you said something so that he could buy a gift you genuinely love.

Yesterday my dp declared that he "has tolerated but never liked" a jumper I bought him for last years birthday! I find this hilarious. He said he loved it at the time, and wears it about 3 times a week! I'm laughing as I type.

Luckily we've agreed not to bother with xmas gifts for each other this year.

Could you say something like 'two is lovely but let's stop there - a shelf-full would be going too far' then try to point him in the right direction?

The two offending articles could be put together where only you can see them in passing.

I would be honest with you DH. It's a running joke in our family that I'm an exchanger . My oh doesn't mind one bit at all the way we see it we don't have much money to spend on ourselves so Christmas presents tend to be luxuries like expensive skin care products/ make up or perfume for me and work shirts or technology for him. We both get stuff we wouldn't buy normally for ourselves but at least it will be used.

justmuddling I don't think I did act particularly well, I've never said I loved it and just thanked him in a normal way.

In the drawer was also an edible item. He bought me this exact same edible item last year. When he asked if I liked it, I said "it was nice to try it but I wouldn't buy it again as it was too sweet for my taste really". It appears that he has bought in again anyway!

I also think that an accident with the vacuum cleaner is inspired. I'm intrigued as to what it is. It's not those china ladies in big frocks with baskets and bonnets, it is? One of my friends has an entire mantelpiece with those but to be fair she bought them herself.