To be honest with OH about Christmas presents?

[WhyamIBoredathome]

I have been well trained by my parents to accept presents gratefully, as it is after all the thought that counts. This is the policy I have stuck to almost unfailingly until now.
But now I begin to wonder if it's a good idea...

Two years ago for Christmas OH bought me a decorative item for the home. Said item is not really to my taste, it's the sort of thing I think you would normally find in the home of someone 20-30 years older than us. However I thanked him graciously amd put item on display on upstairs landing (where I only see it in passing so it doesn't bother me as much).
I've just accidentally found my Christmas presents for this year while putting away laundry (he left them unwrapped on the top of his t-shirt drawer). He has got me another one in the same collection of decorative items. These things are not cheap, about £40 I think.

WIBU to be honest and tell him it's not really my taste? I don't want to be ungrateful but I'm a little worried that he will continue buying items from the collection and there's rather a lot of them. I really don't want to hurt his feelings but It seems like such a waste of money for something that I'd rather not have on display.

I am not at all grabby or materialistic before anyone accuses me of this. When he asked what I wanted I told him just a box of chocs and get the kids to make me some nice cards.

Tell him!

One year my husband got me a CD by Paolo Nutini (sp?) and I asked him why he got it as I've never said I liked him, and being an old goth, my taste in music is quite different.
It turned out that when I'd mentioned that singer and said I was surprised on seeing a picture of him, that he wasn't the old man I'd envisaged, he only remembered me mentioning the name and thought I might like it!

You should be able to be honest with your husband.

Oh, and I agree with Gruach, you should ask for more than a box of chocolates!

Definitely say something before you end up with a collection of ceramic snails like me. I've run out of places to put them apart from the charity shop and expect a fresh crop this year

It depends if he took time and thought in buying the gift. Or ran in with minutes to spare and grabbed the first thing. Thinking you liked it he is now sorted for the next ten years.

I think a ceramic snail would be better!

I’d say something now along the lines of do you still have the receipt because if it’s ok with you I’d like to exchange it. There’s some stuff in ex shop that I really love. I can’t see how he’d take offense to that.

Unfortunately a vaccuum accident is unlikely. Item is fairly sturdy and landing has carpet so I don't think it would break. And kids can't reach it so can't blame them.

Why are most men shit at present buying, I know their intentions are (usually) good but they are so disappointing sometimes.

kathartic I think the first one was a panic buy, he was in town Xmas shopping a couple of days before Christmas. I suspect the second one was an easy option because he assumed I like the first.

Hoteleuphoria - to be fair he got me lovely things for my birthday. Although the one thing I asked for (a week off laundry) never materialised

You can have a few snails if you like!

Could it have a paint related accident? Probably a bit extreme to fake a burglary.

My mum loves Lalique and has received either a large piece or a collection of smaller matching pieces every Christmas for at least 15 years but even she’s getting fed up, because there is no surprise, she’s running out of room and her tastes are changing over the years.

She told him so. Last year she got a set of 12 cheese knives instead 😂

My husband is a bit rubbish at gifts, so I wrote him a list this year. I’m fed up of compiling a thoughtful collection of gifts and receiving too small pjs and generic pastel coloured paperbacks in return.

Pipe up and say something now!

I didn't and a very dear pal decided I liked a cartoon character (and tbh I didn't disbuse her of this) and so I had something else with snoopy (not snoopy but a cartoon character) every sodding birthday and yule for about 15 years ... I couldn't quite believe how many things you could buy with (not) snoopy's image..

Hot water bottle covers, soft toys, trays, mugs, pencil cases, t-shirt, pyjamas, slippers, framed pictures..... Pillow cases, mobile covers,.... Etc etc.

I finally got her off this path ridiculously simply... Wow I would love some x cd I don't have any and love their music... DONE!

I'm going to vote Willow Tree figures, not expensive enough for the Royal Doulton ladies and more 'robust' in line with OP's description.

Tell him, OP, before you other people start noticing whatever it is and thinks you love them, you'll end up getting nothing else.

You are obviously much nicer than I am........... I blatantly returned all the things (reindeer hot water bottle and other horrors) the first year. I accept that not having a surprise present is much better than being surprised at how hideous a present it is possible to find in the shops on Christmas Eve!!

I've had to tell my DH to stop buying me Thorntons chocolates after receiving a box of them every bloody Christmas for the best part of 20 years. Chocolate is great, any other kind of chocolate... just not those.
He also has a habit of standing in a bookshop on Christmas Eve and buying me random Booker prizewinning paperback novels. None have ever been my kind of book, he has even managed to buy me the same one twice.
You need to tell him OP

Mine used to be really good at presents...
Birthday this year was a bottle of spirits. - I rarely drink anything and certainly not this plain ordinary spirit from.the co op. I had just got out of hospital and even he admitted it was not a great present. I am hoping that xmas will make up for it but I doubt it!!

It is not that sweet and thoughtful, it is actually him trying to make his life easier as every year he can just pick another, no thought required! Buy him something similar and see how he likes it

The problem is that I'd have been honestly happy with the chocs I asked for. There is genuinely nothing I want apart from the week off laundry that I asked for and didn't get for my birthday.

" I feel quite touched that he's bought me something and thought about what I'd like. "

Not thought very hard if it's something that you don't like!

Op, if you'd like chocolates, that fine.

If chocolates is all you'd like, that's also fine!

I also aspire to be a minimalist but I'm nowhere near as polite as you. No one buys me anything any more, thank goodness! MIL bought me a floral terracotta soap dispenser one year and I couldn't take it anymore.

How about something like...

'Thanks so much for thinking of me but I'm trying to bring fewer items into the house. Did you keep the receipt?'

I'm sitting here laughing at how polite you all are.

DD actually believes me now when I say I'd like an Amazon voucher, she loves me telling her what she bought me during January.

DH insists on buying me something and I just tell him to remember to put the receipt in because he's got terrible taste.

We still love each other.

It's difficult isn't it? My DH is normally pretty good at presents for me but one year he bought me a handbag which I hated. I don't know why he thought I would like it. I am not into bags and certainly not expensive ones. I didn't like the colour either.

I hated telling him but a couple of days after Christmas I said it as nicely as I could. I appreciated the thought that had gone into it etc but it just wasn't me. He was so upset I felt awful.

If you are fairly minimalist could you not just say something along the lines that you really like the ornaments but 2 are enough? Or something jokingly along the lines of you don't want too many ornaments because you don't like dusting/don't have time for dusting with young children?

OK I think that you need to talk whilst he has time to repair the damage. I don't think you should feel guilty as (a) he hasn't taken the trouble to hide them properly, (b) he hasn't bothered to think of something different and (c) he hasn't listened to the fact that you didn't particularly like the sweets or noticed that you placed the ornament in a place where you don't have to look at it for too long...

I would sit him down, explain that I found the gifts (as they weren't really hidden) then say that you need to give him a teeny bit of feedback if he wants a smiley wife on Christmas morning.

I would say that whilst I liked the original ornament I would definitely not want a second one (I might say something along the lines of a second one detracting from the first as 'less is more') and I would remind him that I did say that the sweets last year were a little...well..sweet! I might finish the talk by reminding him that the Hotel Chocolat choccies would, on the other hand, make you very happy.

Perhaps he feels that chocolates are not enough and is looking to buy you a 'surprise' - make sure you litter conversation with a few more hints that will be easy for him to pick up and buy.

The worst thing is, I know he's got me one of the collection, because the box has a logo. But it's sealed so I don't know which one! Now I have to wait until Christmas day to see if it's one of the slightly better ones or one of the worse ones.

But why can't you tell him you've seen the present and you'd really, really prefer some lovely chocolates?

I'm not getting this at all, will he sulk?