OH told me he fancies someone else...

[takemeamillionmilesaway]

Kind of lighthearted but I'm still a bit When me and OH have discussed our celebrity crushes in the past he has never said anyone. Obviously I know there are people he must find attractive but he's always joked and said 'No one. I've got you- your better than any celebrity.' We've always had a bit of a laugh about it. Yesterday I asked if if he likes Rita Ora's new song and he said ' yeah. I like more than her song.' And said he fancied her. I sound so stupid but I feel a bit weird about it. He's never said anything about other woman's looks before and I feel a bit shit about it. It's probably not helped that we are having a rocky patch at the moment and it just felt like he was trying to upset me on purpose. Help me get a grip!!

Blurting out that you have a crush 'grannytomine* and by the sounds of it, going on about it quite a bit (as your husband got annoyed about it) is no sign that you have a 'bit of life'. Just that you're a bit disrespectful of your partner and not able to read the signs if it got to the stage where he got annoyed with you about it.

Keep your lusting to yourself maybe? Or don't mind when your husband tells you all about his - and they may not be celebs either.

It's not a rough patch if you haven't known it you want to be with him for over a year. It's just stringing him along and wasting years of your life.

In the grand scheme of things; it wouldn't matter if he was planning to actively pursue Rita Ora. You don't want to be with him. Go your separate ways; and protect yourself from stupid things like this.

Or don't mind when your husband tells you all about his - and they may not be celebs either

I think there is a big difference between saying you find a celeb you shall never meet attractive and saying you’d like to shag your wife’s sister or best mate. The first for most people is irrelevant, the second a really big deal. I don’t know anyone in real life who would equate them as the same thing as you appear to.

God there are some thick people on this thread.

Read what the OP is fucking saying before you tell us about your husband fancying whichever sleb.

I fancy lots of people, more normal people than celebrities actually 😂

Well I do, Bluntness. There isn't a difference. The fact that you're unlikely to meet that celeb and you might bump into colleague makes no difference at all. Your opinion doesn't make mine wrong. In my view it's disrespectful and there is no difference. If you think it's fine to talk about with your partner then that's what you think. It's general lack of consideration for the other person and it's unnecessary (as well as cringeworthy).

Some of the threads that I've seen on here from women about certain celebrities are just awful, as if they're 'on heat'. I'm embarrassed for them. Those posters would probably be 'devastated' if their partners were equally disrespectful and made lascivious comments about other women.

... and you can think about shagging x, y, z person in real life - and not tell your partner - and not act on it. None of that is mutually exclusive.

I'm not sure what's so difficult to understand either.

Keep your lusting to yourself maybe? Or don't mind when your husband tells you all about his - and they may not be celebs either I didn't mind, Dusty Springfield was his fantasy at the time. I think it was clear I wasn't lusting after a gay man I was never going to meet, I just thought he was perfect. You have certainly filled in alot of gaps, maybe that is your fantasy?

I think there is a big difference between saying you find a celeb you shall never meet attractive and saying you’d like to shag your wife’s sister or best mate. The first for most people is irrelevant, the second a really big deal. I don’t know anyone in real life who would equate them as the same thing as you appear to. Well exactly, sitting watching TV and saying you find someone attractive shouldn't worry any one, telling you they want to shag the new woman/man in the office is different.

My husband is far to grown up to be annoyed about it, he was letting me know Richard Chamberlain was gay which at the time was a rumour but not acknowledge by RC until many years later.

DH on the other hand has first dibs on Oti from Strictly
Dammit! (Though I always figured she was taller than 5ft4 so she's a bit short for me) I'm going back to my (straight, happily married) first choice of Theresa May then. I'll probably have less competition there!

and you can think about shagging x, y, z person in real life - and not tell your partner - and not act on it. None of that is mutually exclusive I never mentioned shagging him, maybe you only think about people in terms of having sex? Some of us can find people attractive without worrying about shagging them.

Jensen Ackles is my phone wallpaper, my husband knows I fancy the pants off him and just laughs. I'm the same if DH fancies any celebs, although admittedly he doesn't have anyone.

It's just a bit of fun. Relax OP!

granny, no, I just don't share this with my husband - and he doesn't with me. 'What the eye doesn't see' and all that.

I don't want my husband's head swivelling in my direction every time Donald Sutherland is on screen. He doesn't need to know and I think it's a short hop from knowing of a spouse's crush to comparing whether they are 'within bounds' of overly paying attention to it, or not. I don't believe that women (particularly, but maybe also men?) on hearing about it, don't mentally look at that person to see what the attraction is and compare themselves to the. Why create that in the first place?

Actually, what you've posted is harmless. I wouldn't do it but it still sounds jovial and balanced. What I can't stomach are the posts saying 'I'd get a quick divorce' or 'husband would give me permission to shag x, y, z', or they're 'on my list of acceptable shags'. Pathetic and untrue and I hope the disrespect doesn't come back to bite them in the arse one day when a crush becomes non-celeb, reciprocated and real.

x-posted with you on your last post grannytomine. No, I don't. Fro a start, I'd only like to do a Tango with Donald, not shag him. My husband still doesn't need to know that.

Well it has worked for us for over 40 years so we must be doing something right.

I agree that talking about giving permission to shag or have a list of acceptable shags is pathetic but again if it works for some I'm not going to worry about.

I think I prefer Kiefer, I can't tango but I think it might be nice to have a coffee with him and talk about Designated Survivor which is a current favourite of mine.

I've fantasised about doing a Tango with Donald for some 20 years now, but a fantasy it will have to stay, not least because there's too much of a height differential.

I do see the Richard Chamberlain thing too - Dr Kildare...

I know this thread has evolved now from the OP who obviously has other things going on with her partner but I agree with you, that it's very much different strokes for different folks.

What I can't stomach are the posts saying 'I'd get a quick divorce' or 'husband would give me permission to shag x, y, z', or they're 'on my list of acceptable shags'. Pathetic and untrue and I hope the disrespect doesn't come back to bite them in the arse one day when a crush becomes non-celeb, reciprocated and real

Or maybe instead of disrespect, it's a harmless bit of fun, a joke, based on the knowledge that if any of our crushes actually reciprocated, we would run a mile? In the real world, I trudged 5 miles through the snow today to visit DH in intensive care after surgery for lung cancer. If we can't have a bit of a laugh, where neither of us has a problem with it, then who are you to think it's disrespectful or to wish infidelity on anyone? I think you have taken people's posts way too literally.

for Christ sake op sort out those insecurities

'I was watching love island with my (now ex) partner and he was literally eyeing up and rating every girl that was on there'

^^ any wonder you're insecure!!

As for OP this is just a symptom of bigger problems and if you're not happy just end it. He's not going to become more considerate to you (clearly)

No, Gretchen, that's not what I did. Why would I wish infidelity on random people I don't know? I have an opinion and I don't ask people to share it, they're welcome to their own. It's a chatboard. I agree or don't agree with many posters on here on many topics and I'm free to do that as are they. Please don't take my lone opinion personally because it wasn't intended to insult you.

It sounds like you've had a really tough day and I'm sorry if my post caught you on the raw. I'm truly sorry that your husband is so ill and I hope that he recovers well from his surgery. It must be such a worrying time for you.

My DH fancies Sarah Beenie. I've never lost any sleep over it tbh.