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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
JuneyK · 11/12/2017 23:05

Did you pick up your handbag?

Knittedfairies · 11/12/2017 23:07

Good Lord and gravy; I don't look at MN for a couple of hours and miss this.

Do you take milk with your handbag? - brilliant!

CheshireChat · 11/12/2017 23:07

I hope mommy is just a troll that changed her username to fit with the thread.

Or maybe she skives loads at work and has realised how everyone else perceives her.

justilou1 · 11/12/2017 23:11

OP - I know this is your life and everything, but as it is the season for gift giving, I never want this to stop!

How bizarre!!!

I'm sure your work were totally fine with your response to FTCF's request for a reference. I assume that they don't think you went out and wrote one anyway from your private email account. If I had encountered a message chain like that myself, I would assume (as I'm sure you did) that you would never hear from her again. You did not lead her to believe that you were going to lie and write her a reference. She chose not to believe your first statement. When it hit home, she was shocked and pissed off. You explained all along that it wasn't going to happen. To ask you this via email is outstandingly stupid on her behalf, but perfect for yours in this case. It shows that you have behaved professionally and appropriately while establishing boundaries.

If you need anyone to defend your actions (which I very much doubt) you have your BIL to back you up as well.

Why do I want this to continue so badly???

pastabest · 11/12/2017 23:11

Maybe not CF (op presumably has a grasp of what CF SPAG is up to after working with) maybe a Friend of CF ..... FOCF instead?

I totally never usually get involved in these threads but this has been very enjoyable real or not (and I so hope it’s real, sorry OP Grin) I have a poorly cranky baby and this thread is so bonkers it’s keeping me semi sane!

FWIW I had virtually exactly the same issue years ago, posted about it on MN, was told to keep my nose out, did, and the CF still got found out any way eventually through an audit much like the one you described.

Your prompting for clarification with ‘personal’ Grin just speeded things up slightly...

DistanceCall · 11/12/2017 23:13

A Fan of CF, at least. Another skiver and liar, most likely (which is justified because SHE'S A MOMMY, don't you know).

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 11/12/2017 23:15

And the winner of Mumsnet today is....

Traffig

Do you take milk with your handbag?

StarStarStarStar

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 11/12/2017 23:16

I'm still not sure what's going on...

Traffig · 11/12/2017 23:17

By heck... I'm running out of handbags here ...and skinny Latte.

@OP
Save the thread. The local police will love it.
They might even bring back Crimewatch.

I wonder if Mommy realises that we can all see her down that little camera?Wink

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 11/12/2017 23:17

Pasta It's definitely real. You couldn't make this shit up Smile

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 11/12/2017 23:17

Wait, OP didn’t report. Just asked for the policy to be run through...

Others mean about including the manager so can’t have been instigated by About

Littlemissamy · 11/12/2017 23:18

Wow, I just read both threads and truly thought it couldn’t get more ridiculous. Then the real FTCF shows up :D

Mommyto2gorgeousgirls · 11/12/2017 23:20

If you think having children makes you a skiver I can see why you love this thread so much. Get all working mothers out of the workplace, I say. I am not a skiver, quite the opposite actually. I think you always have a lot more to prove in the workplace after returning from having children. If you can't see this thread from both sides, I suggest you take a look in the mirror. Op was not the only victim in the situation, it could have been handled better in the first place.

ComedyBoobs · 11/12/2017 23:23

Put the Gin down & go to bed Sharon.

DistanceCall · 11/12/2017 23:23

Having children does not make you a skiver. Doing personal things during your working hours - i.e. not doing the work you are paid to do - and justifying it by saying that you can't do it in your free time because you don't want to miss out on any time with your precious children IS skiving.

The situation wasn't "handled". The CF wasn't sacked - she left her job because she was told she couldn't skive any more and she had to put in the works she had illegally taken off.

AND THEN she asked the OP to lie for her.

If she's a victim, she's the victim of her own actions. Nobody else's.

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 11/12/2017 23:26

I've have children Mommy. As do 5 out of the 7 staff in my office. Only 1 person was a skiver so what's your point?
Still haven't answered my question though. How would you react if your children were let down by a service?

OP posts:
Willswife · 11/12/2017 23:26

If you can't see this thread from both sides, I suggest you take a look in the mirror

What?

DistanceCall · 11/12/2017 23:27

Oh, and Mommy - the CF (I wonder who that might be) is a disgrace to real working mothers. Shame on her.

Fizbo · 11/12/2017 23:27

This really is the gift that keeps on giving Grin

Hebenon · 11/12/2017 23:28

Oh don't be silly, @Mommyto2gorgeousgirls. There are two people who have done very silly things in this thread. One is the original CF who was very unwise to waste such a lot of her employer's time (and the other subsequent stuff which proved her to be not only lazy but actually deceitful). The other is the CF's mother who sounds nuts (but who I suspect may have been misled by her daughter).

PS I am a working mother and I do not waste my employer's time on account of the fact that I am happy to work for the money I get paid.

PringlesSmoothie · 11/12/2017 23:29

Get 2 new bags

GreenTulips · 11/12/2017 23:30

Can I get a T Bag I don't like coffee

mumof06darlings · 11/12/2017 23:32

Tulips 😂😂

twotired · 11/12/2017 23:33

@Traffig
That comment made me laugh so loud I woke DH Grin

blankpieceofpaper · 11/12/2017 23:33

Seriously, have the DM picked this up yet? Are they likely to?