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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for a broken window?

142 replies

Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 08:59

So, my 11 boy was out playing with his friends when one friend kicked a stone and it hit his neighbours window.

The other boys mother knocks on my door and says as they were all together its only fair cost to repair window should be split three ways.

Window woman was given my number and text me last night.

What would you do?

The cost to me would be €70.

OP posts:
DinkyDaisy · 09/12/2017 15:08

Actually, the threat of police involvement may galvanise kids into truth. As a parent I may remind my child that at 11 they are at the age of criminal responsibility.
At end of this, hopefully none of them will mess with stones....

TidyDancer · 09/12/2017 15:28

Yeah with the additional info you now have I wouldn't be paying either. Sounds like your DS's version has now been backed up independently. Don't wait to contact, ASAP speak to the parents of the child who did it and say you won't be paying because of xyz and then say the same to the homeowner.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/12/2017 15:33

Get a local pcso involved...

It doesn't sound like an 'accident'. Some kid intentionally broke /tried to break window.

They need to be told off /parents made to make reparation for broken window.

I wouldn't pay if it was clearly a different child. It gives the wrong message.

expatinscotland · 09/12/2017 15:41

I pay the 60 and my son wouldn't be hanging round that boy very much in the future.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 15:43

So the homeowner just knocked at my door. I was in the shower. I've two texts on my phone from homeowner too.

My daughter answered the door.

The mother of the boy that threw the stone must have given homeowner my address.

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 15:52

So the homeowner just knocked at my door. I was in the shower. I've two texts on my phone from homeowner too.

I thought they came round this morning?

Is that twice?

DinkyDaisy · 09/12/2017 16:08

Mmm- pushy homeowner.
Maybe community police talking to all boys is something to suggest to her.
How would other parents take that?
Paying up and not allowing son to hang out/ go out for a while almost sounds like an option as well.
I hate this sort of thing and would be grounding kids for my own sanity until they can be sensible in the community.

JonSnowsWife · 09/12/2017 16:10

No Butchy the OP said the homeowner rang her this morning and said they're sure they'll be a knock on the door soon.

RavingRoo · 09/12/2017 16:10

Sounds like your son was egging him on tbh and OP is in denial.

DinkyDaisy · 09/12/2017 16:17

Does sound like boys need a break from each other re 'hanging out' after school.
I would probably pay up [furiously] and ground son for his own protection until felt I could trust him outside again.

StealthNinjaMum · 09/12/2017 16:56

I can't blame the homeowner coming round if op isn't replying to texts. Plus one boy has paid who also 'wasn't guilty' so it looks like he is admitting partial responsibility.

Stoptherideiwannagetoff · 09/12/2017 17:21

Can anyone claim in their house insurance? My son's friend lobbed a stone from my garden and it shattered the neighbours patio doors Blush I was bricking it going to the door to explain why their door had suddenly exploded- had good cover and my insurers paid up thank Christ!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 09/12/2017 17:41

I totally understand why you don't want to pay, and I don't think I would in your position either.

I also think the other parents were BANG out of order giving the homeowner your address and phone number - a point I would be politely yet forcibly making whether I paid or not. [although, job done on that one, so nothing that can be done there. I think they should apologise for this though]
The homeowner also seems very pushy (although understandable - I'm sure she wants her window fixed asap)

Just to throw something else into the mix (more to give you something to consider than an actual suggestion) is how important is the friendship between the children. Because if (as you've said) you refusing to pay would damage their friendship beyond repair, then I think you could consider paying it. Good friendship (esp with someone who lives close by) is - to me - worth more than a third share of the window cost. Just saying.

bunbunny · 09/12/2017 17:56

If your son was doing a trick at the time then he definitely wasn't involved... the other two can decide if they want to go halves - but seems unfair on you and your ds of the other two were messing around while it was his turn to do a stunt that he has to pay up for the consequences of their messing around.

Have you asked your ds what he was doing at the exact moment the window was broken to establish if he was on his bike or not?

NC4now · 09/12/2017 18:09

Just speak to them all.
Go and have a look at the window. Get the four boys and their parents together.
If they don’t all own up, threaten them with the police.
Once you know what happened, go to the homeowner with your son and an apology for mucking round outside their house, and the parents of the kid responsible pays for the repair.
There’s too much avoiding and relying on kids going on here. The adults need to step up.

KingIrving · 11/12/2017 06:39

Any update OP?

CauliflowerSqueeze · 11/12/2017 06:53

Why aren’t you giving the woman the information you know?

Are you saying that the other two boys were kicking stones and throwing stones but your son was just walking alongside doing nothing?

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