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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for a broken window?

142 replies

Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 08:59

So, my 11 boy was out playing with his friends when one friend kicked a stone and it hit his neighbours window.

The other boys mother knocks on my door and says as they were all together its only fair cost to repair window should be split three ways.

Window woman was given my number and text me last night.

What would you do?

The cost to me would be €70.

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 09:52

I was thinking I would contact the boys mother and say on this occasion I will pay something as it's not the homeowners fault but as it was her sons she should be paying the most.

OP posts:
Nanna50 · 09/12/2017 09:53

I can see that you could accidently damage a hanging basket playing football but it seems a stretch that a boy randomly kicking a stone in the street can break a window?

I would want more detail because I think there is more to it and if an 11 year old boy kicked a big enough stone, hard enough and close enough to break a window then he should be responsible for the damage, not his friends.

I think asking you to pay for her sons actions is taking collective responsibility a bit far.

JonSnowsWife · 09/12/2017 09:53

His mother said she can't be sure who did it so all three parents should pay as they were together.

Course she would. They're expensive to replace after all.

What did the neighbour who's window was actually broken say?

Nanna50 · 09/12/2017 09:54

Have you got all of the boys together to try to establish the truth?

SD1978 · 09/12/2017 09:55

Given the age, if all the boys were kicking stones, I do think they should all be held accountable. They are old enough to know QuickRing stones near a window is silly, whether they were the actual culprit or not. If o to one bit kicked a stone, and neither of the other two kicked even one, then I’d say it’s the boy who broke its full responsibility.

JonSnowsWife · 09/12/2017 09:55

I think asking you to pay for her sons actions is taking collective responsibility a bit far.

Exactly.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 09:56

The homeowner text me last night. I don't know them, don't even know the house. The boys mother has obviously passed on my number without my permission.

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 09:56

In the middle of writing my last post the homeowner called me!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 09:57

I know there's going to be a knock on my door shortly!

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 10:00

I'm obviously hard hearted. Grin

If my kid stood there not saying a word whilst (partial) blame was apportioned to him because he didn't want to get his friend into trouble, and I was then faced with a bill for something he afterwards claims he didn't do, then I'm afraid my contribution would be coming out of the usual spend on his Christmas presents.

That would hopefully teach him to speak up when he's being blamed for something he didn't do.

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 10:01

I know there's going to be a knock on my door shortly!

Don't answer. Hide under the bed.

Arrietty123 · 09/12/2017 10:01

Stay firm, you shouldn't have to pay for something another child has done. The mum is just trying it on. None of us so far think you should pay. Good luck.

RonaldMcDonald · 09/12/2017 10:02

I'd pay

GreenTulips · 09/12/2017 10:03

listen tonwhat the neighboir has to say and don't commit to anything at this stage

Then speak to your son and make a decision

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 10:07

Stay firm, you shouldn't have to pay for something another child has done. The mum is just trying it on. None of us so far think you should pay.

Er, speak for yourself.

I would be sceptical about any of the boys stories at this point.

The other parents son has tried to deflect blame.

OP's son has tried to deflect blame, but rather critically, he only did so after the other parents and their son had left. He said nothing in front of them.

Council · 09/12/2017 10:08

Have to say , as the neighbour, assuming these are usually decent kids, no bother whist out playing and this is a one off etc, I'd just be treating as one of those things and get the window fixed myself. An apology and a box of chocs from the boys would be nice.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/12/2017 10:09

I thi k you underestimate peer pressure butchy

DinkyDaisy · 09/12/2017 10:10

I think all boys will be blaming each other. Will be hard to get to the truth of it.
Windows are expensive to replace.
However, not sure how you should play this....

StealthNinjaMum · 09/12/2017 10:10

I think the other parent is unfairly being criticised. They believe their son's version of events. not so different to op really!

It doesn't sound like the window owner or boy's mother have heard that your son didn't do it. Have you spoken to the parents of the second boy? What does he say?

Lizzie48 · 09/12/2017 10:11

I would have thought that the neighbour's house insurance would cover the cost. There would be an excess, which I would probably cover myself in the neighbour's position.

But if my DD caused the damage, I would expect to cover whatever costs the neighbour incurred in getting the window fixed.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/12/2017 10:11

FWIW I wouldn’t pay.

And I’ve paid for a damaged car when I had cctv that showed it wasn’t my kid that did it but theirs.
However it looked like mine was behaving irresponsibly as well so I paid up

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 10:13

I thi k you underestimate peer pressure butchy

Not at all. It sounds as if both boys were a bit cowed. (understandably). OP said that the other kid stood with his head down and didn't say anything.

Which is why I advised the OP contacts the other parents and say, my son is saying that it was your son alone who did it.

In the circumstances though, both boys appear to be deflecting blame so I wouldn't be so quick to wash my hands of contributing to the repairs for the window.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:17

It's €200 because it's triple glaze glass both other parents gave €70 each that €140 So the balance is €60 . I have an invoice . I can't be claiming off my insurance because excess is €500 So that why not claiming

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:17

Just got that text from homeowner

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:18

I just want my window replaced I'm not a fault for it bring smashed and if it was my son involved I'd want to see it right that's all

OP posts: