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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for a broken window?

142 replies

Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 08:59

So, my 11 boy was out playing with his friends when one friend kicked a stone and it hit his neighbours window.

The other boys mother knocks on my door and says as they were all together its only fair cost to repair window should be split three ways.

Window woman was given my number and text me last night.

What would you do?

The cost to me would be €70.

OP posts:
CocaColaTruck · 09/12/2017 09:25

I wouldn't pay. Bloody cheeky to ask.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 09/12/2017 09:25

Text them and say "I'm not in a position to pay that money. My son didn't break the window." and if they hassle you or get rude, block them.

Tinselistacky · 09/12/2017 09:25

Why would you pay??
She is a cf and tell her that!!

StealthNinjaMum · 09/12/2017 09:28

I'm not trying to be goady - I'm a mother of girls - just trying to get a picture - but in the space of a few months he's broken a hanging basket and played with someone who's broken a window. Is this normal for boys?

I'm asking because it seems a bit antisocial to be playing so close to someone else's property that you can break a window. Were they not being a noise nuisance too? Maybe your son needs a lesson in being respectful and should pay for the window? Is there somewhere else he can play?

EasterRobin · 09/12/2017 09:29

If my son had also been kicking stones towards the house then yes it's joint responsibility as they are all at fault so I would think it reasonable to pay and for my child to be punished. If he hadn't kicked or thrown anything anywhere (which seems unlikely) then I wouldn't want to pay.

We need more specifics OP.

EasterRobin · 09/12/2017 09:31

Are you 100% sure they weren't playing a hit-the-window type game?

Biker47 · 09/12/2017 09:31

Isn't the lady insured and therefore only the cost is the excess?

My excess is £300 on my home insurance policy, and why should the innocent party have to make a claim on their insurance for someone elses negligence and have it on their file for years to come?

I agree that the OP shouldn't pay anything though, should be solely down to the person whose child did the damage.

Bowerbird5 · 09/12/2017 09:32

tea My windows were £900 each!

If they were playing a game kicking stones then , yes, I think they should all chip in. If they were walking past the house and one boy kicked one stone then I can see your point of view.

If you need to pay it couldn't you ask to do it in instalments. Three different kids broke three panes in my house and not one of the b's paid for it. My friend's husband ( a builder) repaired one for nothing, bless him. One was the vicar's son ...I wondered if he ever told her. He had been told time and time again not to knock on the window when going past. I was just glad he hadn't cut a vein as it was Victorian glass. I flew out with tea towels expecting it to be a race to A&E but he got away with a scratch. Never knocked on the window again😊

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 09:34

When I closed the door my son turned and said to me it was c mammy, he kicked the stone. I said why didn't you say that just now in front if his parents he said he didn't want to get him into trouble.

Do the other parents KNOW that it was their son who broke the window?

Because from what you've said above, it doesn't sound like they do. It sounds like they think it was a joint enterprise.

And your son didn't correct them.

mum11970 · 09/12/2017 09:34

If all boys were kicking stones at each other I may offer something but if friend just decided kicking a stone would be fun, then tough it’s his mother’s problem. I’m sure the parent of the child who actually broke it can claim on her own house insurance for the neighbours window, if she doesn’t want to make a claim she can pay the full price.

Gincision · 09/12/2017 09:38

When your son broke the hanging basket that he paid for was he playing with his friends or on his own?

In the circumstances you've described I wouldn't pay anyway. But definitely not if your son paid the full amount when playing in a group.

slithytove · 09/12/2017 09:39

It’s not that he didn’t break it so much as he wasn’t engaging in the activity which broke it, so I wouldn’t say it’s your responsibility at all.

If he had been kicking stones and just got lucky that his stone didn’t break anything I would say he is culpable. But that isn’t what happened?

I will prob get shot down for this but shouldn’t the home owner claim on her insurance and the mother of the Stone Kicker just pay the excess?

Either way it’s nothing to do with you.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 09:42

Re the hanging basket he was playing in the garden and just tipped the hanging basket in my neighbours garden. Knocked a few flower petals off but I still made him replace it as it was damaged.

On this occasion they were just at the front of this other boys house with their scooters when he kicked the stone.

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 09/12/2017 09:42

I wouldnt pay if just one boy did it. I would if all of them were, eg, playing football where they shouldnt have been and a window got broken, thats a joint venture!

StealthNinjaMum · 09/12/2017 09:43

It's not fair for the homeowner to claim on their insurance. Even if the boy pays the excess the homeowner's premium might still go up - that happened to me. Someone broke a window, I claimed for it and the excess was about £50. Next year my premium went up by £200 which is more than the window cost to replace!

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 09:44

When my son damaged the hanging basket he was alone just doing tricks with his football, not intentional at all. I get on very well with my neighbours, lived next door for 11 years.

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 09/12/2017 09:46

Yeah I wouldnt be paying unless they were all kicking stones around.

JonSnowsWife · 09/12/2017 09:47

Yes, the mother of the boy that actual broke it has asked other parents to chip in

She can jog on the cheeky fucker.

makeourfuture · 09/12/2017 09:47

In tort, there would be questions of causality and remoteness.

How did your son's actions cause this?

Maelstrop · 09/12/2017 09:48

You shouldn't pay. It's not your child's fault.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 09:49

Not all kicking stones around. The bit just randomly kicked a stone and it hit the window. His mother said she can't be sure who did it so all three parents should pay as they were together.

I'm 100% sure that my son didn't cause the damage. I'm not making him out to be an angel either as he's definitely not. But he doesn't go around disrespecting other people's property.

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 09/12/2017 09:50

No, I wouldn't pay. Not if the other boy did it randomly and your DS had nothing to do with it. It was very cheeky of the boy's mum to ask you to do that. If one of my DDs did that no way would I expect her friends' parents to chip in.

But does the other mum know that it wasn't joint enterprise??

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 09:50

She can jog on the cheeky fucker.

Except that OP's post of 09:22 makes it look like the other parents don't know it wasn't their son alone who broke the window.

And OP's son didn't pipe up to correct them.

OP hasn't yet clarified this despite being asked.

Council · 09/12/2017 09:51

It depends if they were all playing at kicking stones IMO. If the rest of them were playing "nicely" and the boy randomly decided to kick a stone through a window, then his family should pay, but if they were all recklessly kicking stones then it seems fair to share.

I'd also take what any of the boys say with regards blame with a pinch of salt TBH.

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 09:52

His mother said she can't be sure who did it so all three parents should pay as they were together.

X post! Grin

Your post of 09:22 implies that your son didn't pipe up to correct the other parents. So as far as they're concerned, all three boys were involved.

You need to tell them that your son says it was THEIR son who broke the window.

But don't be surprised if their son gives them a different version of events!