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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for a broken window?

142 replies

Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 08:59

So, my 11 boy was out playing with his friends when one friend kicked a stone and it hit his neighbours window.

The other boys mother knocks on my door and says as they were all together its only fair cost to repair window should be split three ways.

Window woman was given my number and text me last night.

What would you do?

The cost to me would be €70.

OP posts:
BrizzleDrizzle · 09/12/2017 10:18

No, it's not your responsibility or your son's.

It must be a pretty impressive window to cost £210.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:18

Then that one.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 09/12/2017 10:20

If you can be absolutely sure your DS didn't do it or encourage the silliness etc, then I wouldn't pay. But in my experience these things are often very much a collective moment of stupidity and it's pure chance which child actually kicked the offending stone.

abilockhart · 09/12/2017 10:21

Clearly, the OP believes her son's version of events. However, it does sound as if the other parent has a different account of what occured and this appeared to her to be accepted by the OP as neither the OP or her son have spoken up.

I think all boys need to be brought together to establish who did break the window.

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 10:21

I think I'd be inclined to pay in the circumstances. The parents of boy number 3 seem to have accepted their son's culpability in the incident.

Your son has blamed the other kid after the fact.

Wouldn't be unreasonable to ask to see a receipt for the repairs though if you think the costing seems rather steep.

GabriellaMontez · 09/12/2017 10:22

Why only 60 for you but 70 for the other two?

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:25

Because they've paid already so balance left to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:26

I've just spoken to another boy that was there but not one of the three and he said he saw the boy pick up a stone, aim it at the house, throw it and heard him say I broke a window.

That's good enough for me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:26

I did ask the homeowner to show me an invoice.

OP posts:
thewisestoldelf · 09/12/2017 10:28

As an adult I don't expect to be held accountable for the actions of others.

If I'm in a car with someone who gets a speeding ticket then I wouldn't pay for their speeding ticket. They committed the act and it's their responsibility to face up to the consequences

ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 10:29

I've just spoken to another boy that was there but not one of the three and he said he saw the boy pick up a stone, aim it at the house, throw it and heard him say I broke a window.

That's good enough for me!

So tell the other parents that.

Just don't be surprised if boy number 4 tells the other parents, "I saw son of Myheartbelongsto pick up a stone, aim it at the house..."

Kids. Grin

ItsNachoCheese · 09/12/2017 10:31

After ^^ post op id not be paying a penny!

happiestcamper · 09/12/2017 10:31

My ds broke a neighbours window completely by accident whilst playing with friends (including neighbours daughter) I still paid the full amount to replace the window and arranged everything for her as felt it was my personal responsibility. Son cleaned toilets and did jobs around the house for months to earn the money it cost us. Valuable life lesson

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:33

Maybe this boys mother knows it was him but is happy for all of us to pay. The night ah knocked on my door was the first time I met her.

Had it been my son I would have paid for the whole window no problem at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:34

I might send my son and the witness down to homeowner and he can explain what happened.

OP posts:
jellycat1 · 09/12/2017 10:35

No I wouldn't. Cheeky cow.

Gemini69 · 09/12/2017 10:35

christ I hate stuff like this.. it's affects kids friendships and all sorts..

I do hope you stand your ground OP.. and not pay for this damage Flowers

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:36

Happiest, in your case you did the right thing. Had my son broken this window I'd have paid but he didn't so I won't.

When he damaged the hanging basket he replaced it and lost out on his pocket money. He knows if he damages something he replaces it.

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 09/12/2017 10:37

I might send my son and the witness down to homeowner and he can explain what happened.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Your son didn't feel about to stand up for himself in front of you, his friend and his parents.

Are you confident he won't be browbeaten by the neighbour?

I would think the neighbour would just think that boy D is just standing sticking up for his little pal.

BewareOfDragons · 09/12/2017 10:39

I wouldn't pay. The two boys need to tell the parent of the boy who did it what actually happened: their son picked up a rock, threw it, and broke it. They weren't playing with rocks. This was entirely him.

Outrageous for them to be asking you for money. Tell the homeowner that you're sorry the boy who broke it hasn't been honest, but your son and the third boy were both very clear on what happened, and it's nothing to do with your son.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:40

That's the thing Gemini, it really does affect their friendships. If I don't pay there's no way that this boy will be allowed to play with mine.

And my son couldn't tell the parents what had happened because he would have felt responsible for him. Years ago a neighbours son broke my window and I told the parents and my God I still think about that little boy and what happened to him after. I called social services and years if abuse came out.

My kids still mention it now!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/12/2017 10:42

It's TRIPLE GLAZED and it was broken so easily? Hmm

Seriously OP have a think someone's not telling the whole truth here before you part with cash.

chibsortig · 09/12/2017 10:42

So your son could only say afterwards it wasnt him, yet the other boys parents have tipped up as well as the boy your son said did it. You have a witness that wasnt involved saying the child in question picked the stone up rather than kicked and deliberately broke the window.
I would speak to the other parent involved and then pay the £60. Something seems amiss with the explanations.

Original poster
Myheartbelongsto · 09/12/2017 10:43

It wasn't smashed just cracked

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/12/2017 10:44

Have you actually been down to see this window?

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