To ask why you didn't breastfeed?

[MakingABoobOfIt]

For starters, this is NOT meant to be a goady thread, and I'm a longtime MNer but have name changed to avoid outing myself

I'm a Uni student, and have an essay coming up for which I would like to know reasons Mums decide not to breastfeed. Research shows that the majority of mums want to breastfeed but either start and stop pretty quickly, or don't start at all. So if this was the case for you, I would be so grateful if you'd be happy to tell me about what influenced your decision (friends, media, etc) and what might have caused you to decide to breastfeed (more support, less stigma, etc)?

Thank you in advance wise ones.

I do breastfeed so I don’t have a lot to add......now will go on to add a bloody essay!!...... but EVERY time I come into contact with the health visitor / GP or other nhs professional to do with breastfeeding they have inaccurate information. My baby had a thick posterior tongue tie and feeding was awful. The post natal ward, health visitor and about 3 other people said there was nothing wrong with his mouth. I think some of the issue stems with not many people breastfeeding so not many people breastfeed it becomes a cycle of misinformation and lack of support. In no way am I criticising the nhs, i used to work in the nhs and they are amazing and very stretched but I feel that the starting point for woman is amazing but more support is needed later on (google stats that I think state that over 80% of woman start bf but that only 1% are still bf at 6 months). You might also want to look at the studies being done with links to the huge prevalence of tongue tie being linked to taking folic acid in pregnancy. It is true that at first bottle feeding (formula not pumping) is easier as Baby sleeps longer and breastfeeding at first is bloody constant and never ending but by 6 weeks or so you are feeling better and breastfeeding is so much more convenient and cheap (my reasons for doing it). You may also want to look at societal aspects and pressures nowadays, woman are expected to have a baby and leap back to work/gym class / etc, the reality is that for the first 8 weeks or so all I did was feed him! We have lost our “village” of support in today’s society so we are alone at home with our babies. Good luck and feel free to pm me if you would like a view from a bf point of view.

I didn't produce enough milk for my first dc so had to top up initially and then switched to formula after I stopped producing milk after 3 months. I breastfed my second dc for two years so I've experienced both ends of the spectrum.

I just didn't want to, had zero intention of breastfeeding then my daughter was 10 weeks premature and couldn't have formula, so it was either my expressed breast milk or do not breast milk. I chose to express, and did that for around six weeks until my daughter was well enough for formula.

hear hear Jean Bodel
I tied myself up in knots by believing that every woman could breastfeed, as can every baby.

DS1 was born 5 weeks early without a sucking reflex. I persevered with breastfeeding for 12 weeks, during which time my baby screamed non-stop unless he was feeding or asleep. I now realise he was screaming with hunger. He was referred to a consultant as he was extremely underweight and was deemed as failing to thrive, and at 13 weeks I started supplementing with formula. He changed into a happy, contented baby who started piling on the weight. By 6 months he was almost exclusively on formula with only one bf a day. I felt very guilty about it but I don't now (he's 21 now so this was a long time ago!).

DS2 was born at (almost) full term, took to breastfeeding like a duck to water and was ebf.

isn't there a place for student requests?

Do you want to know why women made an active choice pre-birth to formula feed, or why women chose to stop breastfeeding and switch to formula, or both? It's not very clear which you're asking for.

I didn't want to. I've had a very bad relationship with my boobs through my adult life (massive, attracting unwanted attention and generally making me feel hideous about myself) and I felt like I didn't want them to be a focus in any way IYKWIM. I also just found the idea of having a baby sucking at my nipples and drawing milk out of my body totally gross. I know it's the most natural thing in the world but to me it felt horrible. I did one colostrum feed with each of my DCs then when straight onto bottles with no guilt whatsoever.

First baby because I had no idea what to do and nobody helped me as they were too busy in the hospital. Also a traumatic birth didn't help, I wasn't able to hold my baby until the next day, I barely even realised I had a baby(I had a general anaesthetic).

Second baby because he lost a lot of weight. Again no support, different midwives coming each day, none interested in seeing me feed him and checking get latch etc, no bf groups in our local area at the time although I would have struggled to get to one anyway post section and we had no car

Third baby, I switched at a few days old because I was quite poorly after another traumatic birth and i could feel myself getting stressed about it. I felt it was the best choice for my whole family for various reasons.

I think if I had been given support to breastfeed my first baby then I would have breastfed them all and I would have fed them until they self weaned.

Breastfed for 5 weeks. Had terrible mastitis twice within those 5 weeks. I tried to get DS to latch on but it felt like a lion tearing at my nipple and nearly flung him off. He cried and I cried over the obvious end of our special breastfeeding sessions together.

I was shocked this was a known problem and it had never been mentioned once during prenatal classes. At least if I had known about It i could have know how to avoid it if possible and also would have purchased remedies for it at home just in case. I knew nothing about it and was left screaming in pain with a 2yr old and newborn.

Severe anaemia due to blood loss at birth. Wanted to and had really looked forward to it, caused a lot of guilt and depression when i was told that I couldn't.

Despite my best efforts and the support of midwives and BF support team my daughter never latched. She had a long, traumatic birth and she just couldn't suckle. Including on a bottle for a while.

• Didn't want too. Didn't like the thought of whipping out a boob in public places or around family.
• Didn't want to be the only one who could feed or care for the baby. Didn't want to be unable to leave for an hour or two if I needed or wanted too.
• Saw the hell my sister and best friend went through with bleeding nipples, constant feeding and the fact that nobody could help them as they couldn't express (not that expressing looked any better!)

Both gave up after a week and I was glad I didn't even begin. Baby slept, I slept, DH loved feeding him and everything was stress free.

Long story short, none of my babies gained weight on my milk.

The long version (copied and pasted from another post of mine - hope that is OK):

I struggled to breast feed my three sons. The first had neonatal jaundice and I was told I had to supplement breast feeds with formula. In hindsight, this may have been bad advice, but at the time, with my newborn son in an incubator, under UV lights, I did what the medical professionals told me.

When we were discharged, I tried to reestablish exclusive breastfeeding - I even used a hospital grade breast pump to try to boost my supply, and it had no effect whatsoever. I ended up having to formula feed No1 son, and felt like a failure.

With No2 son, I was determined not to 'fail' again. He was born at home, and lost 10oz from his birthweight. The Health visitor was very concerned about this, and the fact that his weight gain was very, very slow. She was visiting daily or every other day, and insisting she wanted to see a 0.5oz weight gain every day - and this just wasn't happening.

At 6 weeks old, he developed a chest infection and was admitted to hospital. The medical staff were not particularly concerned about his chest, but were very worried about his lack of weight gain. They used the terrifying phrase 'Failure to Thrive'.

I was told he was being kept in until he started to gain weight at a good enough rate - and this did not happen until I introduced formula top ups - which spelled finis to breastfeeding - but I felt I had no choice.

With No3 son, I mixed fed almost from the start - breast during the day then one formula feed late in the evening and one during the night. If I dropped even one of these formula feeds, his weight gain stalled.

mercurymaze You'll get over it.

First D had cleft palate, unable to suck even from a normal teat on a bottle. I did express for a few weeks and spoon fed her

I bf for three months both times quite easily, but stopped due to purely selfish reasons. I was exhausted and thought baby would sleep for longer. They did.

Didn’t even consider it, the very thought grossed me out.
No idea why, I know it’s natural etc but for me the concept was just awful.
I can’t even watch other people do it so there was no way I was going to.

Combination of factors meant DD couldn’t latch. She did have breast milk for a year though - I exclusively expressed.

my first two I tried but with both I had sore bleeding nipples , bottle fed my third as I could face that again

I didn't try and didn't want to. Glad I didn't as well.

I tried for about 3 weeks, but found it incredibly painful and never managed to get a good latch. I didn't get help, none was offered. I expressed for About a month, but eventually stopped because the pressure and feeling of failure wasn't helping my PND.

With DC1 I didn't breastfeed because:
I was a teen with absolutely no confidence.
I didn't know anyone who had breastfed.
My entire family and most of my friends laughed/were horrified by the concept.

He is 11 now and doesn't seem to have been too damaged by the experience 😉

I did breastfeed DC2 though because I thought screw everyone else, I'll do what I want this time! Managed 16 months before I just didn't want to do it anymore.

She also seems unaffected.

I always thought I would do it for a few weeks and them go on to FF. Once they (twins) were born - I attempted to BF but didn't enjoy feeding them together in the 'rugby ball' position. Within a few hours I began FF them, my DH, parents, close friends and their older sibling sometimes helped and I loved giving them some one-to-one attention when I had help.
I'm very much an advocate of what's best for Mum is what's best for baby. I appreciate not everyone agrees.

Dd1 I breastfed for about a week and then switched to mixed feeding for about 5 months and then fully formula. Mixed feeding really worked for our family, I would highly recommend it

Then for my twins, they we born at 35 weeks and didn't feed well. At 2 days They got shifted to Scbu where they were tube fed. I tried to express for them but wasn't really encouraged. Neither of them were thriving and wouldn't take a full feed, from the breast or bottle and kept on having to be topped up by tube. DT2 did manage to eventually take a whole 30mls and I did dabble with breast feeding him, but DT1 never managed to bottle feed or breast feed. was going to breast feed dt2 and express and bottle feed dt1 but the consultant said I would be on my knees (DD was 2 as well)and strongly encouraged me to formula feed. We got home formula feeding at 4 weeks. Dt1 had to use a soft sided bottle. It wasn't until he was 8 weeks that he was diagnosed with a cleft palate by a health visitor.

Sorry. That was a bit of a rant. It was a tough situation but if dt1 had been properly diagnosed and I was given a bit of encouragement by scbu staff I probably would have mixed fed them as well

Tried. Twice. Didn't really work out. Twice. Decided I'd prefer to formula feed. Twice.

I had one who was lactose intolerant and one CMPI, these issues were probably part of the reason it didn't work out.

I don't call it giving up, as that suggests failure. I have no guilt and no regrets for feeding my babies with formula. They thrived, I was happier. We all slept more. Brilliant all round! (Plus they both had specialist milk suited to their needs, which was essential.)