Page 3 | To think mumsnet is less bullying than it used to be?

historyofsanta · 2017-12-07T22:57:41+00:00

I've been here for years but do name change to protect identity. In my early days of posting I'd see threads go to the maximum number of posts frequently with bullying type behaviour. I was on the receiving end myself a few times. There used to be a real group of goaders who could stir it up. Maybe there are more posters now and that's why it's more mellow. Anyhow it's a much more pleasant place to be these days [fsmile]

Lizzie48 · 08/12/2017 10:06

I've only been on this year, but I've found it to be a good deal less aggressive than what you get in the Facebook section of mumsnet. I've stopped looking at that in recent times, it's full of smug mums ripping to shreds OPs who might be struggling with PND or are simply driven mad with sleep deprivation.

You do get very goady posters sometimes though, who can get very aggressive and it's not clear what it is that has wound them up. The one where the OP and her family were homeless and having to stay with her mum because of her DH's gambling problem was a case in point. But people feel free to be more direct when it's anonymous.

To the PP who said online bullying wasn't possible, what planet are you on? Never heard of cyber bullying and its devastating impact on victims? Not saying it's what's happening on mumsnet, as a poster who feels bullied can just change their username and hide the thread.

brasty · 08/12/2017 10:06

I agree OP.

DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred · 08/12/2017 10:08

It wasn't the most hillarious thing ever or even MN as its witty best - but it was a nice bit of silliness, lots of people joined in, it was good natured fun. Then a couple of years I noticed someone tried to do the same and got a load of bitchy comments like "yawn. So not funny" or "reported" and it was sad to see the change

So true! If I read a thread like that and don't find it particularly funny I would just go and read a different one, but nowadays it's all "are you trying to be funny?" "I don't understand, is this a joke?" when it's very obvious that it's a joke thread. Fun sponges everywhere, it just sucks the fun out of everything.

Lweji · 08/12/2017 10:13

But... silly threads and posts are the worst.

To think mumsnet is less bullying than it used to be?

DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred · 08/12/2017 10:32

If you don't like them Lweji, that's fine, thousands don't. I just don't get the point of people who go out of their way to comment on things they don't like, make people feel stupid, make nasty little comments. Do people honestly think we care that they don't enjoy the thread? Do they think we care that they think the op is hard work? We really, really don't. Some constructive criticism would be interesting to read, as would someone's experience of a similar siutation, anything that's not a crappy little bitchplop.

DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred · 08/12/2017 10:33

This may be riling me up more than I thought

Lweji · 08/12/2017 10:33

I was joking...

DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred · 08/12/2017 10:40

Lweji Cripes, I've riled myself up to a point where I can see no sense haven't I I think I need to take a break from mumsnet and watch some lambs frolicking or kittens having their tummies tickled before I rant myself into a frothy mess

Lweji · 08/12/2017 10:42

Here, have a silly hug.

FlowerPot1234 · 08/12/2017 10:54

OhThisbloodyComputer

There are some weirdos that follow me around, just to say they aren't interested in what I say. Which seems odd

^ This - I have this too!

I am relatively new to MN and expected a mix of views to be discussed, challenged and explored. What I've found is that there are a group of posters who stalk me too. I would have had maybe one or two discussions with them before, which have turned into perverse circular arguments as they accuse me of thinking things I don't, or secretly meaning things I don't mean (think the usual "you're racist" if I commented on a thread which happened to involve a black person, or "you're disablist" if I commented on a thread which happened to involve poorly behaved children, or "you're full of hate" if I pointed out Alexandra Burke's lies about her homeless past!).

They make their assumption about my political position, my life, my ethnicity, they have even made up jobs for me and infer I am being untruthful when I point out that no, I don't have that job. Basically, really simple discussions with these same set of people turns into a whirlwind of personal insults from them and then they get very angry that I won't admit to things I am not or have not said, and the insults get worse, no matter how much I ask for them to keep it polite.

Now this small bunch of bullies literally track my posts and just appear on any thread I am on, not to comment about anything I've said, but just to talk about me and then talk more about all the stuff they've made up about me. It's as if they fester and fester over some of us, turn it over in their minds, keep a little diary of any opinion we have which is not theirs (I support Brexit, some anti-Brexit supporters go bezerk now any time they see my posts even if it's about car parking).

On a serious note, the stalking which I experience, and which OhThisbloodyComputer might be experiencing too from her weirdos, is a form of obsessive, almost unhinged behaviour and I do have concerns about their mental stabilities. I am aware that several MNetters suffer from mental illness and this makes it hard to deal with possibly ill and deeply troubled posters who obsess and follow other posters around in such a way.

DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred · 08/12/2017 11:00

Aww thanks Lweji that's definitely helping!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/12/2017 11:18

Anyone being stalked ( and yes it absolutely happens ) should have a word with MNHQ about it.

TenForward82 · 08/12/2017 12:27

@ilovesooty thank you for perfectly encapsulating the point of this thread. Also thank you for quoting me out of context. The extended snippet of the sentence you quoted was:

Too many childfree or MRA trolls

As in, too many childfree trolls and MRA trolls. Otherwise I would have said "childfree people". I guess given the spirit of the board this thread has inspired, I should have put "childfree trolls and MRA trolls".

I'm sure childfree people are lovely! However, childfree trolls are not.

HTH.

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 08/12/2017 13:02

There’s much ch more goad I was and bullying now. I’ve been on for a decade on and off. Maybe it just seems nicer in comparison to Facebook though.

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 08/12/2017 13:02

Ffs. Much more goadiness and bullying

Crackednips · 08/12/2017 14:12

In my view people on here don't seem to go on about "cliques" quite so much anymore...

Whether it was the few mums that chatted for a few min's in the playground. The anonymous posters who'd say the odd hello to each other, or ask on occasion after the well-being of each others sprogs.. These were all in cliques apparently.

There seemed to be far more of these cliques as there are now? But maybe that's because we are all, without realising, in a clique of some description and envy / covet the other clique?

Sorry if I'm in a clique, and / or seemed 'cliquey' and you felt/feel left out?

JonSnowsWife · 08/12/2017 14:16

Less bullying? Definitely not.

It's always the same posters trying to shut people down and bully people off threads. Namechanging doesn't afford them the anonymity they hope for, their writing styles stick out like a sore thumb.

justalittlelemondrizzle · 08/12/2017 16:21

Your post made me giggle jonsnowswife you were jumping all over a thread like a bull in a China shop yesterday. The irony.

JonSnowsWife · 08/12/2017 16:37

Your post made me giggle jonsnowswife you were jumping all over a thread like a bull in a China shop yesterday. The irony.

Yes it's called commenting on a thread @justalittlelemondrizzle I can be found 'jumping all over' threads, like many other posters. Sort of happens on global forums.

Do feel free to let @MNHQ know if you think I'm crossing any lines, that's what the report button is for

JonSnowsWife · 08/12/2017 16:41

Exactly HellsBellsnBucketsofblood

justalittlelemondrizzle · 08/12/2017 16:43

@jonsnowswife I was only making an observation. No need for defensiveness. Your post really did make me laugh.

JonSnowsWife · 08/12/2017 16:50

No need for defensiveness

Yes yes that's what I was doing.

justalittlelemondrizzle · 08/12/2017 16:54

Glad you can see that.

JonSnowsWife · 08/12/2017 16:54

I think there's lots of people who are very nice and supportive, bit even nice and supportive people can get irritated when they reply saying 'it's worth considering this because it might be more complex' only for OPs to get mad, deny they ABU and then start doing masisve drip feeds in a 'so there so you feel happy now!' when the info in their drip feed was sort of important/ is totally irrelevant but if you say that then it sets them off.

I've noticed this too @Maisypops. Although I'm equally impressed by the tenacity of some to refuse to back down. That theme park one from yonder years was a brilliant example!

JonSnowsWife · 08/12/2017 16:54

I think there's lots of people who are very nice and supportive, bit even nice and supportive people can get irritated when they reply saying 'it's worth considering this because it might be more complex' only for OPs to get mad, deny they ABU and then start doing masisve drip feeds in a 'so there so you feel happy now!' when the info in their drip feed was sort of important/ is totally irrelevant but if you say that then it sets them off.

I've noticed this too @Maisypops. Although I'm equally impressed by the tenacity of some to refuse to back down. That theme park one from yonder years was a brilliant example!