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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be ok with being my current size

158 replies

cjt110 · 05/12/2017 08:41

Before my son was born 3 years ago, I was 9stone. I am 5ft tall.

According to BMI and healthy weight ranges, this was near the top of the range but I was happy and felt slim. Since my son was born I have gained 2 stone. Partly due to age, an underactive thyroid diagnosis and just pure gluttony. We've been on holiday 3 times where a bikini/swimwear have been worn. Whilst I haven't felt great, I also haven't felt hideous. It's just my tummy that I have an issue with.

I have been trying to lose weight for some time and I cant. I'[m not going to blame my illness or anything but I just enjoy life and food.

I have gone from a 10-12 to a 14.

I feel OK in my skin on a day to day basis. Yes, I look back at old photos and wish I was that size again but I don't have the energy or determination to get back down to my ideal size. And I like my food too much!

Th only time I ever feel conscious is in swimwear/underwear. I've learnt to accept who I am.

So, is it ok to give up on that ultimate goal that I now feel isn't achievable?

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 14:23

Ok great. Thanks Museum.

OP posts:
Breakfastat · 05/12/2017 14:24

Don’t forget - as you are running you will be gaining muscles I typically weigh around half a stone less when I am not running than when I am

noeffingidea · 05/12/2017 14:37

OP I would suggest that you try another form of exercise in addition to running. Some kind of resistance training is a good idea.
I'd also like to make the general comment (and speaking from experience), it's very easy to tell ourselves that we're happy with being a stone overweight, gradually having to buy bigger clothes, etc. The problem is that attitude can lead to more weight gradually creeping on, until one day you're a size 16, then one day, maybe 2 or 3 years down the line, you've put on another couple of stone and you're a size 18. It really is better and easier to get your weight under control before it gets out of hand. It can be very daunting to wake up one day and discover you have to lose 4 stones, especially when you realise that you've allowed it to happen gradually.
My other point is I noticed you mentioned you've got a little bit of trouble with your joint (knee or ankle?) .Being overweight does put extra strain on your joints.
I have trouble with one of my knees right now and it is painful at tines and I know I have to help myself by losing some more weight.

RidingWindhorses · 05/12/2017 14:38

Just bear in mind OP has ME. You have to be careful with challenging exercise as it can exhaust ME patients - post exertional malaise - and worsen their overall condition. Exercise needs to be paced.

noeffingidea · 05/12/2017 14:39

Breakfastat you don't gain half a stone of muscle through running. There will be another reason for your weight gain.

Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 14:39

Thanks noeffing Thats precisely what I am and should be concerned about. It creeping on slowly. Being complacent.

I know it's only something small but I had a chilli for lunch. I didnt have the pitta bread with it that I had planned on having. I dont feel any less full for not having it. Baby steps

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 14:41

RidingWindhorses thats why I am not bothered about my speed. I can run. Yes slowly but I can. I have managed to get further each time I go and not walk that section and have instead plodded along etc. Building up my endurance.

I did a 5k on Sat for park run and was fucked most of sunday. That was getting a PB of 35.16 and walking very little of the route

OP posts:
RidingWindhorses · 05/12/2017 14:45

It's great that you're running at all. I don't think speed matters, it's more important that it's sustainable and not exhausting you.

Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 14:46

RidingWindhorses Thank you. ME is a bitch. Some days Im exhausted just from hauling myself out of bed and dressing my toddler.

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 05/12/2017 14:51

On the speed thing - the first thing my running club coach said was to slow down most of the time. I now run most of my runs at about 7 min/km (unless it's really hilly), my 5k best is just under 6min/km and my easy ish 5k is about 6.30/km. If running 3 times in a week one will be "fast" for me (Parkrun or a race or speedwork), one will be moderate (club run) and will be very easy paced but longer. When running 5 times a week (half marathon training) I added easy paced short runs and tried to take Parkrun relatively gently (I always run faster with other people than alone)

After getting the club coaches advice I took 25 minutes off my half time and getting massive 5k pbs when I met my self run hard at a Parkrun.

90% of running should be easy, even for serious club athletes (which I am not!)

Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 14:56

randomsabreuse Hills are the killer for me!

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 05/12/2017 15:25

I can't avoid them - live in a town on the edge of a big river valley halfway up one of the sides - every run finishes up a hill! They do get easier but the certainly help with learning to pace conservatively to ensure getting up the last one - also a good skill!

Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 15:26

randomsabreuse I live in a town and where I live is at the top of the hill so it's always up and down!

OP posts:
MayFayner · 05/12/2017 15:29

I agree with whoever said stick with the running and ditch the sugar OP.

That's pretty much been my philosophy and I've got my weight where I want it now after having DC2 & 3 within the space of 18 months a couple of years ago.

Disregard completely any of the comments about your running pace. As you know, it's not the important issue right now and anyway your pace is fine. You've got to love criticism coming from non-runners, hilarious.

RadioGaGoo · 05/12/2017 15:35

I think you are brave for coming onto AIBU for weight advice OP! Although maybe once you wade through vipers, there are a few genuinely nice responses.

LaLaLanded · 05/12/2017 15:37

I've skimmed this and don't think I've seen a reference to the ketogenic diet. Now, I've been on this for a year and without sounding like a cult leader, it has changed my life completely. I don't think a carbless existence is for everyone, but maybe worth considering.

The reason I suggest it here is that some research suggests the diet can have benefits for CFS/ME. It also has other suggested benefits which fall broadly in line with that. I do not have ME but have found that I have 100% more energy with keto, no aches and pains, my mood is level - the list goes on. As well as the easiest weight loss I've ever experienced, and the easiest maintenance.

So, without pushing it on you - might be worth a look?

Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 15:37

RadioGaGooWater off a ducks back :)

I cant improve my pace. I run. Thats good enough for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 15:37

Could you share some info with me LaLaLanded and I'll give it a look?

OP posts:
LaLaLanded · 05/12/2017 15:45

Hi OP - sure of course!

In summary - the diet is low carb, medium protein and high fat. Just FYI, anywhere online that sells supplements, complex meal plans or weird workouts that go with this diet is selling snake oil. There are masses of free resources and forums (like the keto forum on MFP) where you can get advice.

A summary of what it's about: www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/keto

A couple of articles I'd been reading (NB I am not a health professional so please make your own judgement here). Also, there hasn't been a large-scale, NHS-type research project into this (NHS are woefully behind the times on 'fat' as a nutritional issue) so again, your own judgement. Hope this helps in some way!

www.drmyhill.co.uk/wiki/Ketogenic_diet_-_a_connection_between_mitochondria_and_diet

www.drcourtneycraig.com/blog/2015/3/25/a-ketogenic-diet-for-mecfs-fibro

Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 15:49

LaLa I appreciate that. I may PM you to ask some questions if thats ok?

OP posts:
GailLondon · 05/12/2017 16:07

I'm following the keto way of eating too - have lost 17lbs in the last 3 months and reduced my BMI from 27 to 24
I've also taken a few minutes off my parkrun PB too! Down from 33mins to 29.43!
Its really worked for me where other approaches have failed

LaLaLanded · 05/12/2017 16:16

cjt of course! I’m not a large part of the low carb forum here on MN but know there are Keto people hanging there too.

But feel free to PM - happy to help :)

LaLaLanded · 05/12/2017 16:18

Congrats Gail that’s great!

I too found it worked physically and psychologically where other approaches failed.

Namow · 05/12/2017 16:45

Have a look at Michael Mosley's 8 week blood sugar diet. I do it but not the extreme low calorie bit - just the low carb bit. There's a Facebook group called The 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet Support Group where you can see some amazing results.

All the people going on about the running are idiots. Running slowly does not make you overweight. What you (and I - I'm not judging!) put in your face make you overweight.

Food is an addiction for many people, and like many addictions, noticing it and admitting it are the first steps. Not having the pitta is a huge deal because it's a conscious choice that comes from awareness.

Original poster
cjt110 · 05/12/2017 16:47

Thanks Namow I was pleased when I did not have it. As silly as it sounds.

I will take a look at that, I think I've seen it in the past

OP posts:
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