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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL woes

117 replies

InspMorse · 03/12/2017 20:43

MIL is 70. She is staying with us until Next Thursday.
We work and won't be in during the day & MlL is planning to go into town shopping when we are at work.
We have given her a key and she can't lick the door. Seriously.
The lock is not stiff, you simply pull the handle up and lock it with a key from the outside. The lock on her door is a Yale - no pulling up handles.
She can't do it and has said that if she can't do it tomorrow she will just leave it unlocked when she goes out as it will be ok for a couple of hours until she gets back.

WTAF???

AIBU to think WTAF????? Am I???

I have gone to bed. I'm fucking annoyed.

OP posts:
rabbitsdontlayeggs · 04/12/2017 08:17

Out our? Jesus you can't tell I haven't had my coffee yet this morning. Put your!!!

WitchesHatRim · 04/12/2017 08:20

Has she arthritis in her wrists/hands at all?

My DM struggles with some locks because of this.

EspressoPatronum · 04/12/2017 08:25

It doesn't really matter why she struggles though surely? The problem is she wants to leave op's house unlocked while she jollies off despite the fact it's not safe!

Have you sworn at him yet op? I would be raging!

WitchesHatRim · 04/12/2017 08:31

It doesn't really matter why she struggles though surely?

It does a bit. If there is a reason behind it, she isn't doing it to be difficult.

Having said that, her going out and Leaving the house unlocked isn't on.

Laiste · 04/12/2017 08:33

The problem is she wants to leave op's house unlocked while she jollies off

Exactly! If MIL had said to OP 'Y'know Morse i wont go out love because i can't lock your door very well' OP would probably be posting here for ideas of how to help her.

The 'i'm doing it anyway' attitude is awful from any age group.

Bobbins43 · 04/12/2017 08:37

I really need to start locking my door when I leave the house

MsHomeSlice · 04/12/2017 08:43

me too @Bobbins, esp since our double barrelled GSD security is( are??) now no more :(

I hope you got it sorted OP, what a utter lummox mummy's boy your dh is being about this.

user1499722317 · 04/12/2017 08:44

If she's too weak to lift a door handle she is going to have problems carrying her handbag and any shopping. Hmm

Laiste · 04/12/2017 08:48

Bobbins i took the kids to the zoo for the day once and left the front door actually wide open Shock All day ShockBlush

Luckily nothing was nicked.

VeganIan · 04/12/2017 09:41

What's happened, OP? Did you drop kick her out of the door on your way to work and then lock it behind you?

chiaseeddisapointmentagain · 04/12/2017 10:23

Shamelessly place marking

whiskyowl · 04/12/2017 10:26

Of course it's not OK to leave your house unlocked. Only on Mumsnet could that even be a question!! Seriously, anyone with any common sense realises that you need to lock the door when the house is unoccupied.

Just make it clear that if the house is left unlocked, the visit will be ended and she won't be invited back.

isernamesarerubbish · 04/12/2017 10:38

So what happened?

kaytee87 · 04/12/2017 11:02

Placemarking Smile

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 04/12/2017 11:11

That’s so weird. Does she have weak wrists? Arthritis like someone upnthread mentioned?

What’s the bit she can’t do?

FreshStartToday · 04/12/2017 11:16

OP this wont help you at all today, but this reminds me so much of my mum who now has dementia. Before there were any other signs she would simply refuse to learn to do new things, sticking only to doing things which were familiar. In fact when she was quite young, in 1970ish, I remember a real battle trying to get her to go decimal. She refused for months! We just though it was her being quirky but I can see now that she really couldn't learn new things, and then panicked and made irrational decisions like your MIL.

As I say, it won't help you today, but keep an eye out for other signs.

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/12/2017 11:32

Your insurance will not pay out if she has deliberately left the house open. I would ask her to confirm that she is happy to pay for any items that are stolen/vandalised if she fails to lock the house while she is out.

CoraPirbright · 04/12/2017 11:40

My parents are mid-late 70’s and have doors just as you describe. Absolutely no problem with them at all. I would squirt liberally with WD40 to ensure maximum ease and stand over your MIL whilst she practises until she can lock with ease. She is just being obtuse on purpose.

Original poster
InspMorse · 04/12/2017 11:49

No, she doesn't have arthritis.

She has always been this way fresh so it's nothing new although I do understand that some of her behaviour mirrors dementia, it is not. She is as sharp as a knife.

She sends my head into a spin because she complains bitterly if she is given help with anything but will then claim not to be able to/ will not commit to doing something essential like locking a door!

I am at work now on my break. I can't phone her because she refuses to have a mobile phone.

I left the house this morning, showed her where the key was again (on the side) and told her again VERY clearly that it needed to be locked. She did that impatient talking over me thing ('yes,yes,yes,yes') as I was saying this.

I will let you know if my house is still intact when I get home.

I really can do without this!! 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
InspMorse · 04/12/2017 11:52

Although Fresh ... maybe learning new things may be the problem. I'm thinking more about what you said & she won't do anything new.
I don't know...

OP posts:
rollingonariver · 04/12/2017 11:59

That's fucking horrible. My dads house was broken into just before he had us and he still doesn't feel any home is safe. It's horrible and she's acting like it'll be fine. Your security is gone if your house is broken into, even if the door was left open.
Will she replace everything that's stollen? So self centred. Horrible.

rollingonariver · 04/12/2017 11:59

You have my sympathies, don't have her to stay again.

Oldbutstillgotit · 04/12/2017 12:00

What did your DH say this morning?

Twickerhun · 04/12/2017 12:01

Hope yiur house isn’t trashed. Would she contact you if there was an issue?

Standingcat · 04/12/2017 12:04

I am joining late but is there another door? back door that she could use?

Her attitude of doing it anyway isn't helpful, if you are like me then you will be a bundle of nerves all day.

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