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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL woes

117 replies

InspMorse · 03/12/2017 20:43

MIL is 70. She is staying with us until Next Thursday.
We work and won't be in during the day & MlL is planning to go into town shopping when we are at work.
We have given her a key and she can't lick the door. Seriously.
The lock is not stiff, you simply pull the handle up and lock it with a key from the outside. The lock on her door is a Yale - no pulling up handles.
She can't do it and has said that if she can't do it tomorrow she will just leave it unlocked when she goes out as it will be ok for a couple of hours until she gets back.

WTAF???

AIBU to think WTAF????? Am I???

I have gone to bed. I'm fucking annoyed.

OP posts:
MilesHuntsWig · 03/12/2017 22:27

That sounds barking...

Maybe you should just state in a calm voice that you are extremely uncomfortable with this, there have been break ins recently and if she is happy to pay for anything that is stolen or damaged as a result of this then that is up to her, but otherwise you don’t want her to do it.

Then leave as there’s nothing more you can do.... and rip your husband’s head off...

MissBax · 03/12/2017 22:48

Oh my God haha. Sorry OP, I'm not laughing because it's funny, I just can't believe the gall - "if I can't do it I'll just leave it unlocked" Shock as if!!!

Shinesweetfreedom · 03/12/2017 22:58

I think it's better she trots off home.
I don't want to say anything that will make it worse but if that is her and his attitude she needs to leave and he is an utter arse

timeisnotaline · 03/12/2017 23:03

Someone has to stay till she leaves. Obviously should be your dh, can you take his car keys? And she needs to be woken up and got out as soon as possible. I bet she'll manage to unlock the door to get in...

ItsNachoCheese · 03/12/2017 23:09

If she didnt lock my door id be sending her back home pronto...

CakesRUs · 03/12/2017 23:15

Yes, you're not insured if she does that. She needs to try harder or stay in.

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 03/12/2017 23:18

I'm sorry.... what?!

In what world is it ok to leave someone's home unlocked?

In what world is it ok to allow your mother to act like an uber cunt?

OP, are you the only sane one in this family?!

No locky; no leavy. End of!

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 03/12/2017 23:24

she is happy to pay for anything that is stolen or damaged as a result of this then that is up to her, but otherwise you don’t want her to do it.

Yeah. As if the MIL is going to do that - she might not have the funds to in any event.

Plus, it's very traumatic thing to be burgled. Replacing stolen things is just part of it. I would have a discussion with your DH and not be bothered if MIL was there. This is a consequence of her behaviour. She has caused any awkwardness

cathyclown · 03/12/2017 23:25

Drop her to the station and send her home. But she probably has come by car, so maybe scratch that. I dunno. I would be mad as heck.

Really, why is she staying until Thursday if you are both out all day.

I think she is playing a few mind games here!!

Lizzie48 · 03/12/2017 23:38

I now insist that my DH gets time off work for when my MIL is staying with us. There's always something that she needs his help with or wants to talk to him about. Besides, she's totally draining.

But she's never suggested anything as daft as her leaving the front door unlocked. She's more likely to fret about it and therefore not go out at all. (She never would on her own when she's staying with us anyway.)

KimchiLaLa · 03/12/2017 23:45

Sounds like my MIL who worked in a professional capacity all her life but still can't lock our door or even though she has an alarm system of her own, set the alarm. She's got serious damsel in distress syndrome and I'm certain it's all to get Dh's attention

KarmaStar · 03/12/2017 23:48

Have you got an easier to lock back door she can use?

MyKingdomForBrie · 03/12/2017 23:48

It sounds like you have more problems than just the mil though, you’ve said you hate him more than once now..

ChasedByBees · 03/12/2017 23:58

She shouldn't get the choice to put your property and belongings at risk. It's not her decision to make.

AdoraBell · 04/12/2017 00:07

Can’t believe your DH thinks it’s okay for the door to be left unlocked, that’s truly batshit.

I would take anything valuable that could fit in a bag, so jewellery/iPad/laptop etc to work with you tomorrow. And if you do have a problem make him talk to the insurance company.

GrockleBocs · 04/12/2017 00:13

Utter shite. My parents are 75 and can manage modern door locking.

TwoShades1 · 04/12/2017 00:56

I’m confused!? You said you did a practice and she only managed to do it once. Why? Can she not remember how to do it? Or is she physically struggling with it? If she is physically incable there isn’t much you can do and alternative arrangements should have been made before she arrived.

Motoko · 04/12/2017 02:06

I hate those locks! I can't do them either. We had one on the back door of our last house, and there's one on the back door of the holiday flat we go to. I always have to get my husband to lock it.

I put the handle up, but can't get the key to turn. There must be a sweet point, a bit like the clutch in a car, but I never seem to be able to find it.

So, I can understand why your MIL can't lock it, but she shouldn't just go out and leave the house unlocked.

Jux · 04/12/2017 03:13

We have sort of lock on our back door. I found that the only way I could unlock it was to turn the handle up and then balance all my weight (prodigious!) on it, while turning the key. DH said it wasn't stiff, it was apparently easy, but I really didn't find it so. Locking it is beyond me. 12 years we've been here, and I can't get it to work. Really, we should change the lock, but DH says it's easy to do and won't allow it.

Luckily, our front door presents no problems with a nice Yale!

Butterfr33 · 04/12/2017 05:07

You need to be straight with your MIL and fuck what your DH says.

"MIL, you have two options. A) You stay at home locked in or B) You leave the same time as us in the morning if your desperate to get out. Leaving MY front door unlocked is NOT an option. If for some reason it were to happen, you won't be welcome here again"

OhforfucksakeFay · 04/12/2017 05:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhforfucksakeFay · 04/12/2017 05:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Inertia · 04/12/2017 07:02

Is there an option for you to work at home and then lock the house and go into work if your MIL goes out? I bet she'll be able to operate the lock when she wants to get in- if not she can ring Dh to let her in.

GertrudeCB · 04/12/2017 07:55

Hi op, what happened this morning?

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 04/12/2017 08:16

We have the same door locking as you OP. You can lift the handle with two fingers, it's not hard! They aren't stiff unless there's something wrong with them.

My ILs are in their late sixties and have this type of door too. No problems there!

No way would I let her leave the door unlocked that is absolutely batshit. Out our foot down!