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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL woes

117 replies

InspMorse · 03/12/2017 20:43

MIL is 70. She is staying with us until Next Thursday.
We work and won't be in during the day & MlL is planning to go into town shopping when we are at work.
We have given her a key and she can't lick the door. Seriously.
The lock is not stiff, you simply pull the handle up and lock it with a key from the outside. The lock on her door is a Yale - no pulling up handles.
She can't do it and has said that if she can't do it tomorrow she will just leave it unlocked when she goes out as it will be ok for a couple of hours until she gets back.

WTAF???

AIBU to think WTAF????? Am I???

I have gone to bed. I'm fucking annoyed.

OP posts:
annandale · 03/12/2017 21:07

Do you have a back door? Could you leave the front door locked and she could get out the back?

Or your dh could take the morning off work due to a sudden boiler malfunction?

ijustwannadance · 03/12/2017 21:09

Those locks are not difficult. Tell her if she can't do it she has to leave at the same time as you.

She cannot leave the bloody door unlocked! As others have said, your insurance won't pay out if door is left unlocked.

Your DH is a dick. She will do it every day because she won't be arsed even trying to lock it.

Lizzie48 · 03/12/2017 21:10

I can't believe that your DH isn't bothered at all. I think he probably does share your concerns, but it's just that some men can't bring themselves to contradict their mothers. Hmm

SweetIcedTea · 03/12/2017 21:15

She can't lift a door handle and turn a key ?? She's having you on.

Original poster
InspMorse · 03/12/2017 21:22

He is a dick. He's just told me that he doesn't like the fact that I'm implying that she is out of order.
I fucking hate him at the moment.

OP posts:
mygrandchildrenrock · 03/12/2017 21:22

Some door locks can be quite difficult. My 16 yr old DD couldn't lock our front door one morning when she really had to. Luckily our neighbour came out at the same time and did it for her.
Just because it might be difficult for her doesn't mean she can leave it unlocked though, I would ask a neighbour if they can help her.

Original poster
InspMorse · 03/12/2017 21:23

I've also suggested he takes time off work. He says no can do. TWAT.

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 03/12/2017 21:24

Is there a back door she can use instead?

FurryLittleTwerp · 03/12/2017 21:25

Will the key not turn until you've lifted the handle?

Just asking as my back door will lock with the key without lifting the handle, but to deploy the deadlocks needs to be lifted first.

Without lifting it is still locked, just not as secure as it could be.

She sounds ridiculous BTW.

Original poster
InspMorse · 03/12/2017 21:25

No All only a patio door.Same problem.

OP posts:
GertrudeCB · 03/12/2017 21:26

Don't blame you op, it's utter madness Confused

Original poster
InspMorse · 03/12/2017 21:27

Lift handle, turn key. Take key out.
It is not stiff & key turns easily.
It is utterly ridiculous.

OP posts:
NapQueen · 03/12/2017 21:28

defiently lock her in.

Say no word of it to dh.

SadTrombone · 03/12/2017 21:28

You're husband is being a fucking idiot.
Would he ordinarily leave the house unlocked all day on purpose? No? Then why the fuck is he pandering to his Mother and letting her do it without so much as a peep from him?
Tell him to get a grip or you're locking her in (if he says anything about her needing to be able to escape in case of fire just repeat "It'll be fine" and "Don't start" til he gets the message).

mumisnotmyname · 03/12/2017 21:31

She cannot expect to leave your house unlocked, so she needs to be given two choices by your DH,

  1. she stays in the house.
  2. She leaves with you

You would probably be okay with the house unlocked but if you did have an issue leaving the door unlocked would be horrible from an insurance point. Does she leave her door unlocked when she goes out?

Original poster
InspMorse · 03/12/2017 21:32

I can't even argue with him this evening because she will hear every word.
I am going to phone him on his commute in the morning & swear like a fucking trooper.
I hate him at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
InspMorse · 03/12/2017 21:34

Does she leave her door unlocked when she goes out?
Back in 19 fucking 50 everyone did. Apparently.

OP posts:
thegirlupnorth · 03/12/2017 21:35

Tell her she can leave door unlocked as long as if you're burgled she will replace everything as your insurance won't pay out!!

Gazelda · 03/12/2017 21:37

You say it's not stiff, but does it need strength to lift the handle? Maybe that's the problem?
In any case, if she can't do it then she shouldn't leave the house.
Your DH is being a prat and your house will be uninsured.

mumisnotmyname · 03/12/2017 21:40

Does it matter if she hears? You don't have to be rude but, " I am really concerned about leaving our house unlocked, there have been break ins recently and our house insurance would be invalid if that happened. Your mum needs to either leave with us or stay in the house" Seems a reasonable thing for her to overhear.

chantilly70 · 03/12/2017 21:43

Your MIL needs more than a yale lock on her own house.

It sounds as though your MIL is not unwilling to lock the door but worried she might forget how to do it due to her age. Could she phone you when she is leaving to go out and then you could talk her through it.

I think your DH needs to engage with the issue.

In future I would arrange the MIL visits for weekends.

canthelpbutworry · 03/12/2017 21:53

😮😮😮

HooraySunshine · 03/12/2017 21:59

I would pack her in the car/train/bus with me when I leave, lock the door and drop her off in a café with £10 and tell her you'll pick her up at X time. ...then phone DH and swear like a trooper! Xmas Grin

Rafflesway · 03/12/2017 22:01

Sorry but 70 is hardly doddering these days 🙄. (Says she who is 62!)

Is she just being deliberately obtuse because you don’t have a bloody Yale lock?

No way would I allow my home to be left unlocked all day. Your DH needs to step up and stop pandering to her. 70 IS NOT OLD!! 😡

glitterbiscuits · 03/12/2017 22:10

Pretend to be ill. Let her go out. You then feel better and go off to work late locking the door behind you.

I feel your anger and would be out for my DHs blood if he didn’t back me up