To think MIL joke isn't funny

[KarOp690]

Had a day out whereby I had to get a train with my 6 month old baby and some friends. On the way home, the trains were delayed and were cancelled going to my stop. They stopped at the second to last before mine which is my MILs town. I called her up to ask if it would be possible please that she could pick me and LO up and drop us home as our train wasn't going to my stop and she has a car seat in her car so seemed like a logical explanation. She said yep no problem, dropped us home and that was that. Since then she's text OH along the lines of "if you don't watch out I'm going to have that baby off you. I've called social services 😜" apparently as a joke. All because I've asked her to pick me up from the station in the evening I'm now apparently a case for social services? OH replies with "Very funny mum! Shut up" (in a jokey way) to which she's relied "no you shut up. Im gonna have that baby!!"
AIBU to think this joke is not funny in the slightest and to be actually pissed off she thinks it's appropriate to joke about?

It did sound like the OP's MIL was serious in what she said. Her DH thought she was joking but her response to him saying haha was to say, 'No you shut up. I'm gonna have that baby.' That sounds worryingly serious. I wouldn't be surprised if any gratitude the OP may or may not have been feeling had disappeared.

" Do please get a grip "

dont tell a woman to 'get a grip' when her MIL has said 'I will have that baby off her'!!
I remember when my MIL was trying to get her hands on my babies. I could hear them talking in Polish in the other room. It was horrible, and if someone had told me 'to get a grip' I probably would have punched their stupid face.

Thats a bit strange

I think the op has had ample opportunity to give us more context e.g. a history of possessiveness or toxic behaviour. As no such information has been forthcoming, I am going to assume that there is none.

I therefore commend to you all thecatfromjapan's post towards the end of page 3. I really don't think there is anything further to add - nothing sensible at any rate.

Actually, and I think this is an important nuance, the MIL was texting to her own son and did not say "I'll have that baby off HER", but "off YOU". i.e off her son.

And if she and her DS typically tell each other to jokingly 'shut up' this makes sense.

The MIL is not talking ABOUT the OP, she is talking TO her Ds.

If the MIL is not routinely criticising any parenting, not noticelably horrible, or weird, why on earth would she develop malicious plans.....and TELL her son about them???

You are being completely ridiculous.

I think the DH was stupid to tell the OP what his DM had said. What was the point of that, talk about shit stirring???

I read it as though she wants the baby. Sort of ohh so cute I'm gna pinch him sort of thing but a bad joke with the SS hope I'm making sense lol

It's a joke and it's ridiculous to think it implies she would be a better guardian to OPs child. It's just a clumsy, ill thought-out way of saying she really loved your child and wants her for herself. Nothing more. I really doubt there's any malice or slyness behind it UNLESS there is already a context...

My MIL bought a bib for my DD that said "If Daddy had a gun, he would shoot Nanny!". Highly inappropriate. I didn't kick up a fuss though because I know she was just trying to make a joke about her and her son's relationship, even if it was poorly judged.... Intentions matter imo.

Cannot believe the number of people finding this offensive!!

I think it's really rather sad to be honest.

It's because it was a MIL. Joking is yet another thing to add to the long list of things they aren't allowed to do.

Mousse, in what universe is saying to someone that you booked them on the Herald of Free Enterprise, a boat that overturned with the loss of 193 lives, a joke of any sort? They met a friend on the boat by chance and instead of introducing me to her as their ds's wife, dfil turns to me and says that. No, I don't think I'm being over dramatic.

It isn't a joke, jokes are funny

And what is funny is subjective and personal to each person, so a joke for one person may not be to another.

longtime

Seriously? If you can't joke about killing your own family are they even your family?

I would find this funny. At all. What is she trying to say - becasue lets face it, its hardly a 'why did the chicken cross the road' joke, is it? Its undertones are that you are not a fit enough mother for whatever stupid reason in her head and that shes going to take your baby off you? Social services? I would absolutely have a fit and your dh should tell her so. Its not funny to joke about things like that. Its got insidious undertones.

^^ sorry meant to say wouldnt - not 'would'

I think you should take it as intended! My dad threatens SS as we give our baby marmite... I tend to agree with him because it’s gross, but she likes it, so what can I or SS do!?!?

I can't believe you're taking it so seriously. It seems like a throw-away jokey comment to me.

But no return from OP, par for the course...

You are being way over sensitive, I do think MIL get such a hard time on Mumsnet.

It's a generational thing - the social services threat, my Dad says it sometimes. I never take it to heart because it's just a joke.

Have you ever listened to Tim Minchin's song "Lullaby"?

She’s had her crack at parenting and should leave her son and DIL to get on with theirs

Oh for goodness sake shes not trying to be a parent at all.

It's not very funny but it would seem that both she and your DH just have a poor sense of humour.

Cherry it was before I married dh (or maybe just after). I had very much been given the impression that I was not good enough for their ds so doubt this was said in a jovial way.

*said

Why shouldn’t a bloke talk to his wife about something his mother said if it either amused or concerned him? He should be able to talk to either one of the two about anything he wants without being considered to be shit stiring