To think MIL joke isn't funny

[KarOp690]

Had a day out whereby I had to get a train with my 6 month old baby and some friends. On the way home, the trains were delayed and were cancelled going to my stop. They stopped at the second to last before mine which is my MILs town. I called her up to ask if it would be possible please that she could pick me and LO up and drop us home as our train wasn't going to my stop and she has a car seat in her car so seemed like a logical explanation. She said yep no problem, dropped us home and that was that. Since then she's text OH along the lines of "if you don't watch out I'm going to have that baby off you. I've called social services 😜" apparently as a joke. All because I've asked her to pick me up from the station in the evening I'm now apparently a case for social services? OH replies with "Very funny mum! Shut up" (in a jokey way) to which she's relied "no you shut up. Im gonna have that baby!!"
AIBU to think this joke is not funny in the slightest and to be actually pissed off she thinks it's appropriate to joke about?

Yes I think the text was odd.

If it happened to me I'd go "hmmm that's odd but you know she did me a massive favour when I really needed it".

I wouldn't make myself miserable and cause a row because the favour she did me is much bigger than the offence caused by a not funny text.

SaucyJack

We know it was in the evening and we know it was a town along. That's not a ten minute favour. I hate going out once I'm in for the evening. We don't know how long but we do know MIL just got on with it and didn't make the OP feel bad at the time.

An odd text would not cause me to upset someone who had dropped what they were doing and helped me when I needed it.

It’s a classic case of passive aggression - she was pissed off at having to pick the OP up but rather than say so, she made a “joke” behind her back.

What a ridiculous thing to say. Please try not to be in a position where you need her help again so she can't lord it over you.

Even if she meant it as a joke, it was a pretty unfunny joke.

I can sympathise with you, OP, as my PIL are the same. I'll hand my baby to DH so I can hang up some washing and they'll immediately say "Ooh, you can't wait to get away from your baby, can you!"

Don't give her a second thought.

"We know it was in the evening and we know it was a town along. That's not a ten minute favour."

Again. None of us are able to tell from the OP how long it took.

Here in the warm suburban wonderland where I am, you would be looking at about 10-15 mins (depending on whether the car driver had already donned pyjamas for the night).

Not everywhere is rural.

Do any of you lot have any friends or relatives you are still in contact with?

If one not funny joke means you cut someone out of your life. Good grief.

I don't think anyone is saying the joke was funny or appropriate . Just that there are plenty of people we love and want contact with that occasionally make mistimed comments, bad jokes or accidentally offend. To be honest if my rl friends were like mumsnet then I don't think I'd have anyone left that was talking to me 😂.

I agree with Desmondo2016. Bad joke, not worth a falling out over. Just roll your eyes.

I thought it came across as MIL trying to express how much she loves your baby I.e. She wants her all to herself.

Which would actually piss me off no end for being weird and possessive. She’s had her crack at parenting and should leave her son and DIL to get on with theirs

My daughter jokes she is going to call child line if I tell her she can't have more ice cream. Should I get all offended at that because there are real kids with problems, and it's not something to joke about?

Maybe not offended as such but I’d certainly pull my child up for saying that, and the reason being they should consider themselves lucky they never need to use Childline. I don’t find that especially funny for a kid to say either

kierenthecommunity
should leave her son and DIL to get on with theirs

It was the OP we called and involved MIL.

It was the OP we called and involved MIL.

And MIL then had the option to decline or grant the favour. The extra comments were totally unnecessary

kierenthecommunity

Yeah wow what a bitch with her unnecessary comments. Getting in the car at a moments notice, driving round, dropping DIL off, driving home. Total bitch with her not funny text.

Text back -

'DH showed me your text haha!!! Very funny. I've just been telling DD we'll definitely not be seeing so much of Granny in future as she's data collecting so she can steal you!! Haha, only joking...or am I? 😉'

Right back atcha with the funnies, Ms. Passive-Possessive 🙂

I think it was a horrible thing to text.

I would interpret that as "your baby is so cute, I want it"...type fluff

.

This

Yeah wow what a bitch with her unnecessary comments. Getting in the car at a moments notice, driving round, dropping DIL off, driving home. Total bitch with her not funny text.

If you can’t do a family member a favour without making snotty comments I’d personally prefer they didn’t bother

kierenthecommunity
If you can’t do a family member a favour without making snotty comments I’d personally prefer they didn’t bother

So would I but then I wouldn't ask, and if I did ask and they did me a favour I wouldn't complain about the comments.

I don't think saying 'I will have that baby off her' was a joke, I think she was deadly serious, an honest statement of intent. Don't cut her out, just don't ask for any more favours, ever, and watch her like a hawk.

I like dogs, and would definitely make jokes about taking someone's cute puppy home in my handbag. But if I said to someone "I'm going to tell the rspca that you neglect your dog so that they take it and give it to me. That puppy's going to be mine," I would expect the owner of the puppy to think I was at best a bit socially awkward and odd. But they would, in my opinion, be totally reasonable to start questioning my motives for even thinking that way - it's really not funny and just weird.

As a mum who had PND, and had had hardly any sleep, I felt really paranoid that somebody might think I wasn't looking after my baby properly. I was of course, but the lack of sleep and the depression made me incredibly fearful that someone might wrongly report me to social services and they might take my baby. To the point that I didn't get help with PND for fear that it would be misinterpreted. So if my MIL, who I know to be a bit unhinged and nasty, said something like that my blood would have ran cold.

Two stations along the track.

My sister used to say to my baby "Ooh, I just want to munch you up".

Obviously I rang 101 to log it.

In case of cannabilism.

The police took it really seriously.

Could you call the police and SS, just to get it logged, OP?

Division I think you are being a bit flippant and silly.
I completely agree with Fern tbh.

"As a mum who had PND, and had had hardly any sleep, I felt really paranoid that somebody might think I wasn't looking after my baby properly. I was of course, but the lack of sleep and the depression made me incredibly fearful that someone might wrongly report me to social services and they might take my baby. To the point that I didn't get help with PND for fear that it would be misinterpreted. So if my MIL, who I know to be a bit unhinged and nasty, said something like that my blood would have ran cold."

This is a fair point, Fern.

I was being flippant and silly (and no more 'funny' than the MIL) - and I do take Fern's point.

But I also think there is a high proportion of MNers who jump to the most damning conclusion on the slightest of evidence, and either act like this in their real lives or delight in winding posters up to escalate family rows.

Honestly, if I had a MIL who lived not far away and I felt comfortable enough to call when public transport went tits up, and got a 'yep, no problem' response, I would find it a help, and would not immediately assume insult or bad intent.