Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should get the tickets

108 replies

Nicpem1982 · 01/12/2017 21:15

When we picked up dd from mils today she informed us that she had bought 2 tickets for dds nativity play today for fil and mil and there was a letter in dds bag.

Letter states that due to theatre size that only 2 tickets per child are allowed and if you require extra tickets you can join a spares list

Mil thinks that they should get tickets and won't give them us as they do majority of pick ups however me and dh have booked date off work so we could attend as it's her first one

So who ibu?

OP posts:
Itsthattimeagain · 01/12/2017 22:21

How odd!!

So because my children are collected everyday by our childminder (because we both work FT), she should get ours!

FlouncyDoves · 01/12/2017 22:28

Photos before and during and a DVD? Is there a ‘making of’ bonus feature and Blu Ray option too?!

If she’s playing third lobster then leave it be. If she’s Mary then I’d go.

52FestiveRoad · 01/12/2017 22:29

Do your parents not get a look in? The ILs seem to dominate your lives tbh.

HopingForSomeSnow · 01/12/2017 22:39

This is nuts. They are well out of order.

HousefulOfBoysAndMe · 01/12/2017 22:49

This is more than excited and enthusiastic if MIL actually believes she's in the right here and refuses to allow the first (possibly only) tickets to go to you and dh.

It's controlling, entitled and overstepping the mark to a huge degree.

That indicates problems with MIL's attitude that goes much deeper than 'just' the tickets. It would worry me enough to step back from MIL having so much input into dd's life that she clearly feels she's in control completely and what she says goes with regards to YOUR child.

If you let this slide, just hope the next display of MIL's control isn't escalated further to something you would really disagree with.

Fishface77 · 01/12/2017 22:56

Your making excuses and wimping out. Ask for the tickets again.
Maybe this is her way of telling you she's fed up doing childcare. A sort of passive aggressive twatiness.

Hulababy · 01/12/2017 23:00

Backforgood Maybe the school hall isn't big enough but there is a small theatre the school can use for a reasonable fee, which fits everyone in? Our Y1 play and our Y2 end of year show don't take place in school. We use a local venue which has increased seating and a raised platform/stage (something we also don't have.)

GreenTulips · 01/12/2017 23:06

wow! Why aren't you even remotely annoyed?

NoCanoe · 01/12/2017 23:10

I agree with @housefulofboys &@Fishface77
MIL may have been amazing up to now, but it's now getting rather controlling? And entitled? She thinks she trumps you over your own child in terms of allocation of tickets because of her child care?
Seriously, I'd be very cautious as to how entrenched you allow your family to get with your in laws from now on.
I'd be backing so far in reverse at moment, I'd doing backward somersaults.

TeeniefaeTroon · 01/12/2017 23:38

I'm in a very similar situation, my DS has his nativity shortly and we're only allowed 2 tickets. My parents pick him up 4 days a week but there's no way they would expect to get the tickets.

I would demand the tickets, if they refused I would pay for after school care. Your husband needs to sort this out as it's his parents.

Animation86 · 01/12/2017 23:59

What the actual fuck though

Any sane MIL would hand the tickets to the parents, no debate.

She had her turn with her own kids!!!

Imsorrynow · 02/12/2017 00:00

Oh wow.

LouiseH2017 · 02/12/2017 01:44

@Nicpem1982 If, A’s you’ve said, your MIL considers a child’s nativity to be “no big deal”, then I’m sure she won’t have any problem in missing it and handing the tickets over to you and your DP, especially as she gets to see DC in other things during the year.

LouiseH2017 · 02/12/2017 01:44

*as

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 02/12/2017 06:51

I'm more bewildered than angry it's totally out of character for mil. Dh will speak to fil I have no doubt it will be sorted out amicably.

Backforgood - dd is in a independent nursery and there isnt a hall big enough to house everyone, so they hire the theatre that's near the school also there's ample parking.

Flouncy- I don't know about a making of bonus Grin the pre/live shots and dvd are pretty standard with other shows dd has done is this not normal in all school performances too?

OP posts:
Whinesalot · 02/12/2017 06:59

Nip this in the bud immediately. Don't wait till Thursday. If she gets away with this, her behaviour will escalate until she is making all sorts of decisions that are unimportant on their own but will build a bigger picture of overstepping the mark.

lljkk · 02/12/2017 07:48

I think I'd go for guilt, not outrage.

"What a shame. Her own parents won't be there for her FIRST Nativity. She'll be wondering where we are. I wonder what we'll do with that day off work since it's already booked. All the other parents will feel sorry for her and wonder why we were so negligent that we didn't come to watch. Oh Dear. Oh Dear."

madeyemoodysmum · 02/12/2017 07:59

Exactly. What would your dd think if your not there! .

grannytomine · 02/12/2017 12:06

Granny-if we didn't include my ils then I'd get the buying tickets thing but really they're included in my dds life and not just for our convenience. Nicpem you sound a lovely DIL, I didn't mean that you weren't including them. It was just a bitter granny talking who gets to do the grunt work and other grandmother walks in for the glory bit. I have had many opportunities to do what your MIL did but it never occurred to me. I might try it.

In my saner moments I admit I wouldn't change my relationship with GC for the world. I am part of their lives, other GM is the person who occasionally pops in. I wouldn't swap, even for the nativity tickets and I do like a good nativity.

Did she go and put your name down on the waiting list for tickets? If it is a theatre there will probably be extra tickets.

whyohwhycantI · 02/12/2017 12:11

nursery nativity plays are totally overrated. Most working parents cannot attend anyways. I have only ever been once. It was nice though.

sounds like your ILs are very supportive and if it means so much to your Mil, I'd let this one go, I think.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 02/12/2017 12:15

grannytomine Flowers for your situation. That sounds very unfair. I hope you get 'payback' in the fact that your relationship with the GC is much stronger.

Nicpem another one here who thinks you sound lovely. I do hope you get it sorted.

ItWentInMyEye · 02/12/2017 12:16

I don't think they trump you for tickets because they do more pick ups. We've had the 2 tickets only thing which makes things awkward when it's either current or ex DP can attend school things with me Confused

grannytomine · 02/12/2017 12:19

KeepServingTheDrinks, thank you and yes my relationship with them is very strong and that is priceless.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 02/12/2017 14:18

Granny- that sounds a horrible situation.Flowers

Keep serving - thank you I do think that the relationship between my dd and ils is a special one and it's important to me that my dd knows that she has a strong family perhaps as I'm nc with the majority of my family I don't know

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 02/12/2017 14:23

So fil called me today to explain a few things and I can kind of see what's happened.

Mil is upset with her other son as she's not able to attend other dgds nativity as tickeys have been allocated to maternal gps with out discussion. This has upset mil as she has never been able to go to dgds school plays due to historical probs with sil and she thought this year may be different as Bil has had a change to his personal circumstances.

Mil then got upset and jumped on buying the tickets.

So what were doing is me and mil are having the initial tickets and fil and dh are going to the pub for lunch however if there are 2 spare tickets available we'll all go.

Dh is talking to his brother and me and mil are going out on Thursday for prosecco and gin!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread