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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For those who pierce their baby's ears...

645 replies

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 16:47

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

OP posts:
SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 20:37

Funny how no one who actually had their ears pierced as kids has a problem with it.

No one? No one at all?

Just other judgy folks who love having something to be outraged about.

It's a discussion. Why simply insult people who are trying to debate something?

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 20:39

Everyone? Really?

Find me one person on this thread who had their ears done as a baby and is bitterly upset about it now.

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 20:39

Funny how no one who actually had their ears pierced as kids has a problem with it.

Except that they're mainly glad they had it done as babies as they'd "be way too scared to as adults"

So maybe it did traumatise them?

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 29/11/2017 20:46

I think your stretching a bit there OP.

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/11/2017 20:49

Thank you oblada ya weirdo.Grin

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 20:50

*Except that they're mainly glad they had it done as babies as they'd "be way too scared to as adults"

So maybe it did traumatise them?*

No, I don't want any more piercings because the only other one I would get is the cartilage, and my friend's one is still weeping and bleeding a year later AND she can't sleep on that side. No thanks.

If I had to get my lobes done as an adult obviously I would, but I'd have to go through the faff of healing. I feel lucky that by the time I had a memory, that was already done.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 20:52

Find me one person on this thread who had their ears done as a baby and is bitterly upset about it now.

After all of your sweeping statements, referring to 'everyone' who had their ears pierced as a baby, and how 'no one' cares that they did, it turns out you were in fact just talking about a 3 page thread on MN, tonight, with a handful of posters?

Alright then. Confused

Originalfoogirl · 29/11/2017 20:52

Who’s got the popcorn🍿 🍿 🍿 .....?

MistressoftheYoniverse · 29/11/2017 20:53

How about you mind your own business??... (shock horror) Hmm

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 20:54

After all of your sweeping statements, referring to 'everyone' who had their ears pierced as a baby, and how 'no one' cares that they did, it turns out you were in fact just talking about a 3 page thread on MN, tonight, with a handful of posters?

OK, find me a person in real life. I don't know anyone.

I've never heard of this brought up as an issue in all the years I've been alive APART from people who look down on those who do it for being "chavvy and "common".

MistressoftheYoniverse · 29/11/2017 21:00

Yolo exactly ...no one gives one...only people with huge arse judgey pants pulled up to their ears...get a life..seriously!

RadioGaGoo · 29/11/2017 21:02

I would wait until my DS was old enough to make the decision herself.

MoonageBowie · 29/11/2017 21:04

I wouldn't consider doing that to my child, though you're hardly a terrible parent if you do. I just believe it's a decision that the child should make for themselves, and I don't see the point in piercing a baby's ears? Why does a baby need earrings?

HermionesRightHook · 29/11/2017 21:05

I wouldn't do it because I don't think it's very nice - for one, I agree with the autonomy issue. I also think it's a shame that you don't get to do the nice growing up ritual of taking your child when they're 9 or 12 or whenever to go and have them pierced, which I admit is also a cultural thing.

But the main reason I wouldn't is vanity - it's too easy to get the hole in the wrong place on a tiny baby and you do occasionally see people with slightly oddly placed holes because the piercer didn't anticipate ear growth.

Also:

In a process called trepanning, Maya parents flattened a newborn baby’s soft skull so the forehead sloped up and backward.

This isn't trepanning. Trepanning is the even more dubious practice of drilling holes in a person's skull, which people did (do?) for all sorts of religious and spiritual and medical reasons, though not usually to infants. This is cranial modification/deformation, depending on your view of it, and was still done in some cultures up until pretty recently.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 21:09

I've never heard of this brought up as an issue in all the years I've been alive APART from people who look down on those who do it for being "chavvy and "common"

Fair enough. But there are people on this very thread (I'm one of them!) who keep saying that they think there is an ethical issue about it. I never, ever judge. I'm literally not even thinking of images of babies with earrings, I'm purely thinking about the issue of consent.

I'm not judging. It's possible to disagree with someone doing something, without judging them for it, which is the point I'm trying to make.

Because of their extreme youth, no baby can consent or complain. No one who had their ears pierced as a baby will recall any distress, pain or upset, so many - perhaps even most - are fine about it.

My issue is that babies shouldn't be subjected to it as they can't consent. They might suffer miserable pain, but they have no choice. Where or not they mind later isn't really the issue, it's whether we believe that we have the right to inflict pain on babies for cosmetic reasons or not. 'They don't remember it' isn't reason enough for me to say that we should.

But again, it's perfectly possible to try to debate this without judgement on either side.

Some on this thread are 'judging' the actual 'babies in earrings' thing. But others who disagree are not.

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/11/2017 21:22

So you have judged parents who pierce as being less "ethical" than you.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 21:30

So you have judged parents who pierce as being less "ethical" than you

Where on earth have you got that from? Where do I judge people who pierce babies ears as being 'less ethical' than me?

Are you so hell-bent on insisting that anyone disagreeing is 'judging' that even in a long post explaining why it's possible to disagree without judgment, you conclude that I was 'judging'?

MistressoftheYoniverse · 29/11/2017 21:34

My issue is that babies shouldn't be subjected to it as they can't consent. ...what like vaccinations? Hmm

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 21:39

Except vaccines have a benefit. A massive one. A life/death one.

OP posts:
SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 21:40

My issue is that babies shouldn't be subjected to it as they can't consent. ...what like vaccinations? hmm

Vaccinations have been mentioned several times. I'm specifically referred to piercing for cosmetic reasons.

Dustbunny1900 · 29/11/2017 21:42

It's a cultural thing where I am. Very common among Latina, Italian, black, (lower class whites sometimes) circles and almost non existent in middle class/upper class anglos families.

I supposed technically / 'morally" it isn't different than a lip piercing (although earlobes are a LOT less painful and complicated than tongue or nose etc) it's just culturally acceptable for women to have their ear lobes pierced.

You're supposed to do it with a needle vs piercing gun which I think would drastically cut down on the # of babies with pierced ears.
I'd say as "fucking your children up for life" goes, it's down near the bottom compared to a lot that's commonly done.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 29/11/2017 21:45

Its a cultural thing or not...it is what it is ..you can't control or should not try to inflict you own cultural, social, physical, emotional beliefs, feelings, or issues on other people..I know it's uncomfortable..

MistressoftheYoniverse · 29/11/2017 21:47

Do they...ask people who have children who have been damaged by vaccines..but anyway...mind your own...I know it's uncomfortable...

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 29/11/2017 22:03

I had mine done as a baby. I wouldn't do it to my own child but I don't judge others who do. My mum is brilliant and I just think it was more socially acceptable back then then it is now.

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/11/2017 22:12

So your ethics wrt piercing are equal to the ethics of those parents who do pierce babies ears SheGotBetteDavisEyes? Equal, but different?