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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For those who pierce their baby's ears...

645 replies

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 16:47

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

OP posts:
coddiwomple · 29/11/2017 19:34

They don't because it is a non issue.

Were do you stand on slapping a child? People advocating it will tell about their own experience, how it did not do them any harm, it was over in a second and they grew up in loving families.

People against it talk about child abuse, assault etc. and a shame in a developed country.

There's no difference.

I still would like to know WHY people feel they cannot wait until the child is old enough to decide, why the rush apart from the fact that it's "cultural".

Original poster
Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 19:36

Oh for God's sake - people vaccinate their children because they don't want them to contract debilitating and deadly illnesses. They could wait till their child is old enough to consent (12+) but sadly that might be too late. What is the rush with piercings?! Nothing awful will happen if we don't pierce our children's ears.

OP posts:
SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 19:40

What is there to have an intelligent debate about

Whether it's acceptable to pierce babies' ears.

No one is emotionally scarred, physically debilitated or victimised by it. If they were, they would tell their therapist, form a self help group or even start a thread on MN to talk about it. They don't because it is a non issue

How can you possibly say this? How do you know if anyone's discussed it with their therapist? How do you know if someone feels as though it's something they wish hadn't happened? Because you didn't find a 'self help group' on Google? Because there's no MN thread about it?

If it was a non-issue, this debate wouldn't be happening (again).
Perhaps you might consider that some of those people keen to raise it as an issue aren't all 'terminally judgey' but perhaps have a personal reason for doing so?

For some, this will always be about 'babies in earrings', convinced that anyone who thinks it wrong is 'judging.' That really is not the case.

YoloSwaggins · 29/11/2017 19:43

Nothing awful will happen if we don't pierce our children's ears.

But nothing awful will happen if you do. It's not a tattoo that can only be lasered off, if they decide they don't like it they can take the earrings out.

This thread is full of people telling others they should be "outraged", but all the people that were "victims" of this "horrendous practise" are either glad they had it done or don't care.

If it was a non-issue, this debate wouldn't be happening (again).

It is only an issue with people who don't do it who judge those that do. Mysteriously, it is a complete non-issue with those who have had it done - I've never seen a thread of "I wish my mum hadn't pierced my ears as a baby".

oblada · 29/11/2017 19:48

I agree with Yolo.
I did it with my girls because it was easier to do it early, giving them plenty of time to heal before school (nursery has no issues with earrings but school has). It was done properly, needle, no gun, and as far as I can tell no harm done (no crying). They were about 18months old at the time. It's an area of the body that can be pierced quite easily, heals easily (not the same for nose or lip piercing at all) and is indeed considered cosmetic in most cultures. My husband has his ears pierced too so we're not sexist here :) it's one of the choices I've made for them. By contrast I can't say I care much about long hair so I've kept their hair on the slightly shorter side until they could tell me they wanted it long and what they wanted etc. Well so far one has it long but is considering cutting it short...let's see!

Ummmmgogo · 29/11/2017 19:51

@coddiwomble it's better to do it as young as possible because it looks nice and small babies don't play with their earrings minimising the infection risk.

melj1213 · 29/11/2017 19:56

My DD was born and brought up in Spain and had her ears pierced before we even left the hospital.

They obviously check you want it done before they do it but I think it's one of the best places to do it - it's treated as a medical procedure and is done in an almost sterile environment by trained professionals who then ensure the mothers are given appropriate aftercare information.

My DD's ears never bothered her, she always had age appropriate earrings - in Spain they make tiny studs in pure gold/silver suitable for babies' ears, so it's not like she was wearing huge hoops from day one - and it's second nature to her to put them in/take them out and keep them clean just the same way as she brushes her teeth and washes her face.

DrCoconut · 29/11/2017 20:06

I had mine done when I was 2. I don't remember it. I had no problems because my mum took care of them for me. And could just take them out for school. I wanted them done to be like the other women in my family. They didn't look tacky or naff and I'm glad my mum got them done as I wouldn't have dared when I got older and I love earrings. I (obviously) agree with banning permanent or harmful procedures such as FGM but really piercing your willing child's ears is not comparable.

DeleteOrDecay · 29/11/2017 20:11

You asked for ear rings at age 2? My 2 year old asks to be a pony regularly, 2 years olds don't know what they're saying half the timeHmm

DeleteOrDecay · 29/11/2017 20:14

it's better to do it as young as possible because it looks nice and small babies don't play with their earrings minimising the infection risk.

Or alternatively you could wait till they get to an age where they are old enough to understand that they need to be looked after and not messed about with.

Novel idea I know, but ear piercing isn't mandatory. Not every girl even wants pierced ears, it should be the choice of the individual.

DrCoconut · 29/11/2017 20:15

@NotCitrus my great grandma was born in 1894 (I think) and had pierced ears. So did my grandma and mum. Going further back I'm not sure. They all had small gold studs only as bigger earrings were considered ostentatious. I have no idea who did them way back. Maybe family or someone who did piercing. Not sure. I can feel an interesting study on British piercing habits coming on.

Original poster
Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 20:16

I do find it interesting that most people who say they had theirs done as babies also say they'd have been too afraid to when they were older... I wonder why that is? Hmm

OP posts:
Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 29/11/2017 20:19

I’d say if you are going to make a permanent hole in the body the person deciding should be the person whose body it is. But this is mumsnet, a 4 year should be allowed to choose their gender but they should go along with their parents permently scaring their bodies

QueenUnicorn · 29/11/2017 20:20

Actually, it's also so cat charities and shelters don't get overwhelmed with unwanted cats. You have to sign a contract saying you'll neuter your cat if you buy from a shelter. So really it's more for our benefit. Stopping an animal reproducing is never "for them"

It is purely for the animals benefit, as you said yourself so many animals end up in shelters because of overbreeding. Many irresponsible owners breed them for fun to have a few months of cute kittens. The less kittens there are the more cats will be adopted. The shelters understand this which is why it's a condition.

Starlighter · 29/11/2017 20:24

I don’t understand why people would want to deliberately hurt their babies just so they can decorate them with earrings?! Completely boggles my mind! Confused

It breaks my heart when I watch their faces crumple when they get their jabs - but they need these to keep them safe - but why would people choose to make their kids cry just so they can make them a fashion accessory?! I just don’t get it at all.

I had my ears pierced for the second time at the age of 16. It hurt like hell and they got infected... would not be doing that to my baby!!

Cutesbabasmummy · 29/11/2017 20:27

I had my ears pierced when I was 6 months old. No problems with it. I also have a second home in one ear done when I was 15. It didn't hurt a bit. If dine properly it doesn't hurt - nowhere near as much as injections.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 20:28

This thread is full of people telling others they should be "outraged"

Can you point me to the comments saying that?

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/11/2017 20:28

It is a non issue because those who have had it done aren't complaining about it. It is a widespread practice, yet no one who has had it done complains. I know what people bring to therapy because I am a therapist. I see clients, I run a supervision group, I keep up to date with the issues brought to therapy and the impact on clients. Those complaining about it are judgy because they aren't satisfied with just saying they don't like it. They use such words as chavy and dress it up as concern for the child when all that is happening is they are making out that not piercing a child's ears makes them a better parent than those who do. Judging.

Sayyouwill · 29/11/2017 20:30

Genuine questions: if you have your ears pierced as a baby, is it permanent? Because I've got 12 piercings and I need to wear something in each hole otherwise they'll close up. I've had to repierce a few times.
I've had my initial lobe piercings since I was 10 and I'm in my 30s now and they would still close up if I left them.

Creambun2 · 29/11/2017 20:30

Piercing babies is really common.

ZaphodBeeblerox · 29/11/2017 20:31

Funny how no one who actually had their ears pierced as kids has a problem with it. Just other judgy folks who love having something to be outraged about.

We pierce ears in my culture, so I had it done, and will probably pierce my kids ears when the time comes. I don’t think it’s similar to circumcision or female genital mutilation and there are many cultural practices I don’t follow because I disagree with them.

MrMeSeeks · 29/11/2017 20:32

Just out of interest how many people would think it ok to do to an animal ? A cat say ?
Cat charities cut the tips of stray cats eArs. They seem to think that is ok.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 20:35

It is only an issue with people who don't do it who judge those that do.

Again. It is possible to disagree with something without judging people who do it. Surely that's possible to accept?

Mysteriously, it is a complete non-issue with those who have had it done.

Everyone? Really?

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 29/11/2017 20:35

bold fail

oblada · 29/11/2017 20:36

Dione - I like you!!

Personally I think we should revisit this obsession in Britain with long hair for little girls! Drives me nuts personally! I'm European and short hair are much more common where I'm from! Funnily enough the husband is Indian and my kids are involved in some Indian activities and I see more girls with short hair there than in our town/in the school/nursery (actually I haven't seen any!)... :)