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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For those who pierce their baby's ears...

645 replies

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 16:47

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

OP posts:
Rebeccaslicker · 01/12/2017 12:59

Emsmum - in response to which those parents who think their cosmetic choices outweigh their child's right to choose will just have them done abroad Sad

welshbutenglish · 01/12/2017 13:02

Its not about how much it may or may not hurt and its just no good saying 'its none of your business'. So many things happen in this world that you could say are 'none of my business' but that doesn't make it right.
Yes, we as parents make decisions for our children. But it is our responsibility to make those decisions in their best interests, not in our own. Making holes in a childs body - a child that has no say and not given their consent - is NOT in their best interests. It is a cosmetic and highly selfish act. I wish it would stop.

HamSandWitches · 01/12/2017 13:14

2 eldest got their ears pierced without any problems, youngest got her done at the same age, had an accident and an operation to remove the earring lodged in her lobe which resulted in 48hrs in hospital and a 10hr wait in a&e on a Friday night. Never had a problem with it before then but can see how dangerous they can be after one slip and a bang on a trampoline.

MissBax · 01/12/2017 14:00

If I took my gran (who has dementia) into Claire's and pierced her ears, would that be okay?

TheFickleFingerOfFate · 01/12/2017 14:21

I held my daughter off until 16. She didn't mind. When she still wanted it done, we went off together and make a girly afternoon out of it.

DioneTheDiabolist · 01/12/2017 14:30

Rebecca, do you know no one who has had their child's ears pierced? It is no one else's business Welsh, because no one actually does anything about this "cruelty". Not a thing.

Iadmititimnotsuperwoman · 01/12/2017 14:39

What Stroke said.

I find the majority of people in the UK (especially on these threads) protest against it because they're massive snobs.

Find something else to get worked up about from your ivory tower Grin

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 14:50

My DD has her ears pierced. She was 11, and waited until she was 100% sure. She had them pierced properly and said it hurt.

I'm an adult and have piercings. They hurt.

I cannot get my head around any argument that would inflict pain and potentially ongoing pain on an infant for the sake of vanity

sugaredstrawberries · 01/12/2017 15:21

OP were you aiming that comment at me? "But at least have the balls to admit that you don't care that you caused pain to your child purely for vanity".....
In terms of your comment relating to me bashing my lobes after having them done, no, they did not hurt. Slightly uncomfortable for the first day or two yes but nothing more.

Jaques an ear piercing is not permanent, if I leave my earrings out for just a few weeks the holes start to close up.

Rebecca that's a valid point and I see what your trying to say however we could go around in circles here. We do lots of things for our children of which they have no understanding of or have not consented to.

Missbax as I've said before, I don't hold a stance so I am not disagreeing with what you are saying, the only reason I commented on this thread was purely because I think their are bigger issues than this same topic over and over and I think some of the arguments 'against' are always OTT and derogatory.

Queen I never said we can hurt babies, this is the problem with threads such as these, words are twisted. I don't class it as abuse whatsoever nor do I fully agree with it as I've continuously stated throughout.

Anti-Piercers I'd be interested to know at what age you do think it's acceptable?

ReturnOfTheMackYesItIs · 01/12/2017 15:27

OP went from ear piercing to FGM in 15 minutes. I've been on MN too long because I'd have thought it would take a bit longer.

Rebeccaslicker · 01/12/2017 15:29

Dione - nope. Nobody I know (from any background, and I've lived in London for nearly 25 years, so I know people from all sorts of cultures and backgrounds!) pierced their baby's ears.

My niece had it done at 9* because she really wanted it - she chose it, and she looked after her ears v carefully. I don't really like that she and her friends are already so obsessed with clothes and makeup and how they look (they're all after shaving their legs and "fat"'is the very worst insult they can think of!) but that's what they like at her school so can't expect her to be the odd one out.

I think a child of say 8 and above is in a very different category to a baby.

  • and yes she said it hurt and she felt "all swimmy"!
JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 15:52

I'd be interested to know at what age you do think it's acceptable?

When they're old enough to (a) understand fully (b) are able to fully manage the aftercare themselves and (c) can have them done correctly in a place that meets appropriate standards

Beansonapost · 01/12/2017 16:10

@EMSMUM16

yes, serious response... as it relates to OTHER PEOPLES culture...

I thought Britain was a multi-cultural society... unless the word culture has no bearing really. (not suggesting every aspect of different cultures should be accepted...as assimilation is important, but not to the detriment of your own history)

obviously its ILLEGAL to do those things (scarification) but in other countries, it is done and seen as a right of passage. I guess similar here would be getting drunk on your 18th... by your logic the same stance should be applied to circumcisions.... age should go up, so little boys can make properly informed decisions AND be able to independently do the aftercare... but I suspect this will NEVER happen.... as penises are not really seen out in public, unlike earlobes.

As one PP said... missionaries heh!

clarkl2 · 01/12/2017 16:15

Cultural why? Loads of chav white kids have their ears pierced.

Rebeccaslicker · 01/12/2017 16:25

So you should never disapprove of anything another culture does even if you think it's vain and revolting?

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 16:38

I thought Britain was a multi-cultural society... unless the word culture has no bearing really. (not suggesting every aspect of different cultures should be accepted...as assimilation is important, but not to the detriment of your own history

So we should ignore any practice however awful if it's "cultural"?

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 16:39

Ooops too soon.

Meant to finish "and I would class unnecessary mutilation of infants as pretty awful"

Aweektilltheseason · 01/12/2017 16:40

why does any child need to be pierced or cut - the clear answer is they do not - their career is choosing this pain for them Sad

many dc have parents who do not cut or mark their dc, those dc are fine. No one needs this.

You the parent choose to put this onto a small baby. I cannot imagine what their brains are processing. i felt guilty getting mine the MMR!

Aweektilltheseason · 01/12/2017 16:43

As for culture!

NO child should be cut! End of!

sugaredstrawberries · 01/12/2017 16:43

Rebecca your judging again, saying it's 'revolting' is awful, yes you may not like the way it looks, fine say that but using such a derogatory word isn't on Blush

Jaques so you would object to a 3 year old having them done?

Aweektilltheseason · 01/12/2017 16:46

I object to any child being cut or multilted in anyway , until they are old enough ie 16 to be able to choose what happens to their own body.

Rebeccaslicker · 01/12/2017 16:48

To me, it's revolting. Any parent who makes a permanent body modification to their child because their parents did it to them or purely because they think it looks nice - that's revolting.

It's nothing to do with the way it looks (I dislike it as I think babies look silly with grown up earrings, babies are gorgeous just as they are, but that's not the point), it's the making such a choice for a helpless child that is not medical that I find revolting. Attempts to minimise it by saying "it's only ear piercing" and "everyone does it" don't make it any better.

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 16:49

Jaques so you would object to a 3 year old having them done

Yes.

MadeleineMaxwell · 01/12/2017 16:57

Rebecca your judging again

Of course she's judging. You're judging her for judging. Every single one of us makes thousands of minor to major judgements every day. So what? Since when is applying your brain to a situation and/or abstract concept and forming an opinion an insult or undesirable?

Someone calling forcing metal through babies' ears for no other purpose than the aesthetic sensibilities of the parent 'revolting' seems perfectly valid to me. If you're so sure it isn't, then why does it bother you?

I haven't seen anyone explain how piercing a baby's ears is in the baby's best interest.

coddiwomple · 01/12/2017 17:05

I think it's because a baby cannot revolt and refuse, whilst an older child would be able to scream bloody murder, refuse for anyone to touch the second ear and would be able to tell everybody what he had to go through - ultimately because his parents don't find him pretty enough without the bling.