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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For those who pierce their baby's ears...

645 replies

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 16:47

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

OP posts:
Beansonapost · 01/12/2017 00:35

@Username7654321

As in it wasn't religion that made them do it, it's cultural...

How do you explain that?

... that is: it is something that is cultural, without religion involved. And it should read "are atheists".

How do you tell someone something that goes back centuries is wrong, because you said so?

@DeleteOrDecay haven't the time, sorry.

Rebeccaslicker · 01/12/2017 01:02

Beans - but to turn that around, why does the fact that something has been done for years make it right?

Beansonapost · 01/12/2017 01:17

@Rebeccaslicker never said it was right... or that it's wrong.

I'm trying to understand the issues people have with it, but these same individuals don't seem bothered by other forms of infant/baby body mutilations.

Maybe because in the U.K. it's seen as something only the truly tacky/poor/chavy do? You know low brow...

I don't get the superiority complex on this thread... why can't we respect other people's cultural traditions? And even if it's not cultural.. why can't we just let people be?

Is it a British thing to look down on things you can't understand and try to get people to conform to the British way?

Username7654321 · 01/12/2017 01:23

Beans, I'm still confused - what "other forms of infant/baby body mutilations" am I okay with?? I've clearly said on multiple responses that I am not happy with anything that inflicts physical pain on a child with no real reason (ie - medical necessity), so what exactly are you referring to?!

OP posts:
Username7654321 · 01/12/2017 01:27

"Is it a British thing to look down on things you can't understand and try to get people to conform to the British way?"

Ah yes. That old chestnut. We don't agree with it because we just dont understand it! That must be it. There was I, naive as I am, thinking that metal was forcibly penetrated through the skin of babies for aesthetic purposes, and for no clear medical reason. How stupid of me, trying to see everything through my uncultured and atheist ignoramus goggles.

Please do shed some light on what I'm not understanding, oh enlightened one??

OP posts:
Beansonapost · 01/12/2017 01:29

@Username7654321 yes you object to circumcisions and fgm so obviously wasn't directed at you 😐...

I did however ask your views on cultural baby/infant piercings with no religious connotations.

If you thought it right to tell people their customs are wrong, because you said so.

Beansonapost · 01/12/2017 01:33

History speaks volumes where that is concerned ... EMPIRE!

anyway... as someone said this is the only place I've encountered this attitude... so I suppose it's an assumption worth making.

I've lived in a few places and never come across this attitude to something that is essentially none of your business... but then I might be informed that my views/culture/history are all antiquated 🤷‍♀️.

Username7654321 · 01/12/2017 01:34

I did however ask your views on cultural baby/infant piercings with no religious connotations.

Are you being purposely obtuse??? I have said on one of your previous questions that I don't buy the "because religion/culture/has been done for millennia" bollocks.

But just incase you didn't see it - I don't buy the whole "because religion/culture/has been done for millennia" bollocks.

Once more - I DON'T BUY THE WHOLE "BECAUSE RELIGION / CULTURE / HAS BEEN DONE TO MILLENNIA" BOLLOCKS.

Hope that makes it clear.

OP posts:
Beansonapost · 01/12/2017 01:36

@Username7654321 I wasn't trying to be obtuse... just a right angle!

DeleteOrDecay · 01/12/2017 07:39

haven't the time, sorry.

And yet you seem to have enough time to respond to others on this thread. Says it all really.

yes you object to circumcisions and fgm so obviously wasn't directed at you

So who was it directed at then because as far as I can see most people on this thread object to Male and female circumcision.

sugaredstrawberries · 01/12/2017 08:41

Username & Decay my point was that children have complex emotions so just because the video shows the baby highly distressed, does not mean it hurt as much as it sounds like it did... for example, you would have the same response if you have the wrong colour bowl. It's been proven that children feel the same level of emotion for something simple that we feel when we lose a loved one. I'm not trying to justify it as I don't hold a stance either way, I'm just trying to say we shouldn't be to quick to judge.

MissBax · 01/12/2017 08:56

But as has been said many times above by many different people who have piercings - they DO hurt.
Infact many people have even said they wouldn't want to get a piercing as an adult because of the pain... Yet see nothing wrong with inflicting that pain on an infant

EMSMUM16 · 01/12/2017 08:58

In this culture i think if a child or baby is given no choice it probably should be seen as deliberate unnecessary harm to a child - abuse really.
But in other areas its seen as cultural & normal. Personally I don't like it & I cringe when I see babies with piercings.
It is putting them through unnecessary pain.

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 08:59

my point was that children have complex emotions so just because the video shows the baby highly distressed, does not mean it hurt as much as it sounds like it did...

Yeah. Except it absolutely means it hurt as the baby reacted.

Look pierce your baby's ears, don't pierce your baby's ears but trying to pretend it won't hurt is total bollocks.

DioneTheDiabolist · 01/12/2017 09:12

Has anyone here declaring ear piercing to be abhorrent, vile, evil and child abuse contacted social services about the children they know who have earrings? If not, why not?

EMSMUM16 · 01/12/2017 09:14

Of course it hurts. You don't need studies to figure that out.
What really offends me is the fact that piercings on babies are really just vanity on the part of the parent.

Surreymummy2017 · 01/12/2017 09:16

That reminds me at what age should we piece ears I was thinking before either primary or secondary school. I was going to discuss it with her first though she seems very focused on mine. Is ot better to do it before they remember it long term?

Rebeccaslicker · 01/12/2017 09:19

Dione - no, but if I saw some of the scenes described here where posters have witnessed children screaming, I'd have been tempted.

For me the weakest argument is "my family/culture has always done it so it must be ok". That's a slippery slope and one that shows no independent thought either! My grandfather always expected his wife to do his washing and cooking and had an affair when he was older. Hey, that was just the culture.

Guess what - sometimes things move on because they are recognised as old fashioned and unfair!

EMSMUM16 · 01/12/2017 09:22

DioneTheDiabolist
Because at the moment the law does not state that babies with piercings is illegal. Just as smacking is not illegal.
And because social services have a threshold and cases of mild abuse do not always meet it. That's the reality.

EMSMUM16 · 01/12/2017 09:28

Surreymummy2017
Wait until she says she really wants it done? We don't really know what babies remember do we? Yh secondary school I say when they can make an informed decision

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 09:29

Has anyone here declaring ear piercing to be abhorrent, vile, evil and child abuse contacted social services about the children they know who have earrings? If not, why not?

No, because it isn't currently illegal.

I have told a woman in Claire's she was cruel and abusive as her poor kid screamed and screamed

Username7654321 · 01/12/2017 10:24

As PP - if I witnessed it in Claire's and a baby/child was screaming I'd be tempted and would certainly say something to the parents and definitely to the shop assistant carrying it out. Quite frankly I'm shocked that piercers will do it!

OP posts:
00alwaysbusymum · 01/12/2017 10:49

I'm sorry I really really disagree with it hurts. As I said my two year had it done in Claire's and barely flinched. No tears at all vs crying when she had her vaccinations.

Children often scream at the anticipation of things the not knowing. My 3 year old son screamed the hairdressers down when he had his first proper hair cut. It didn't hurt him he just scream at not knowing,

Saying that if my daughter had been upset I wouldn't of pierced her ears.

00alwaysbusymum · 01/12/2017 10:52

Waiting until girls are older is fine but most children I know (and adults) have more infections as they can't leave the earrings alone or they over clean them causing more problems

Rebeccaslicker · 01/12/2017 10:53

I was 17 and my right ear hurt like blue fuck and it's still not quite right!

Anyone doing it because they think it makes their child look pretty has really got issues about how children should look IMO.

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