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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell people to keep their f***ing hands off

92 replies

SugarNyx · 29/11/2017 15:46

Twice this week people have come up to my baby and touched him in some way. One woman yanked his dummy out and said ‘lemmie see that smile’ - never met this woman in my life!

Just now, was quietly feeding ds and 2 women came over and pinched his cheeks, tickled his legs etc. They reeked of smoke too.

Why do people think it’s acceptable to touch a strangers child?!!

OP posts:
TrinitySquirrel · 29/11/2017 15:50

I pushed one away once as she was practically about to dive in to his pram. Have never arm blocked someone so quick in my life (or previously to be fair)

IHaveACuntingPlan · 29/11/2017 16:01

I never minded when people fussed over my babies and told me how gorgeous they were. At 5&6 they're still gorgeous but strangers stopped fussing over them a long time ago!
Tbh I don't see the issue - it's not as if they're licking, nipping or biting him, is it?

Ropsleybunny · 29/11/2017 16:03

I'm with you OP, tell them to fuck off.

ButchyRestingFace · 29/11/2017 16:03

Tbh I don't see the issue - it's not as if they're licking, nipping or biting him, is it?

Pootling over to the baby and pulling its dummy out without so much as a by your leave to the parent is a bit much, I think.

QueenOfAllISurvey · 29/11/2017 16:03

Not..people...ticking....a baby???

Noooooooo!!!! Run screaming for the hills!

Or, calm down, and realise that people are being kind and lovely in admiring your baby.

Ttbb · 29/11/2017 16:04

YANBU. Fortunately most people seem to have more sense than that.

Pickleypickles · 29/11/2017 16:06

Pulling the dummy out is wrong but otherwise i think there is bigger things to get wound up about.

WorraLiberty · 29/11/2017 16:07

I can honestly say this has never bothered me.

I'm wondering if it's more 'Mumsnet thing' to take such offence, because I can't think of anyone I know in RL who gets angry about it either.

PippleBang · 29/11/2017 16:08

Why the fuck would anyone think it's ok to go over to a baby you don't know and touch it in any possible way?!

I'm shocked that any PPs think this is ok. You wouldn't do it to an adult stranger would you?

Pengggwn · 29/11/2017 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinkyAfro · 29/11/2017 16:12

It's very odd, would you be happy with a random touching your toddler or your teen?

ColinCreevy · 29/11/2017 16:21

I don't mind people touching or fussing over my 2 week old but yesterday a mum at toddler group shoved her finger in his mouth Confused I was a bit bemused..

BronwenFrideswide · 29/11/2017 16:23

I find the opposite - I smile and compliment someone on their baby or toddler I suddenly find the baby or toddler practically being shoved at me.

For the avoidance of doubt I don't go up to strangers and their babies or toddlers and touch them or lean into prams, etc.

Spogget · 29/11/2017 16:27

YANBU. Touching someone you don't know, of any age, is odd and unacceptable.

Telling someone how cute their child is can be nice but touching is going too far.

Rockinglobstering · 29/11/2017 16:34

I remember having this issue when DD was a baby.
I hated the idea of not knowing how grubby the stranger was- have they washed their hands? Have they got a cold? What have they just touched and then transferred god knows what onto my DD?

You wouldn't go up to an adult and poke or prod, or a child, this could be taken very seriously and in the wrong way- so why is it acceptable to do so to babies? They are more vulnerable and have only just entered this world- they do not have a resilience to germs as the rest of us have built up.

furryelephant · 29/11/2017 16:36

I can definitely understand wanting people to stay away. People do it to my dd despite me saying she WILL cry if they try and interact with her so please just leave her be. Yet they insist that they’ll get a smile so carry on, and she then cries. Hysterically. So I have to get her out of the buggy so she doesn’t end up vomiting. Which then ends the shopping trip Angrywhile they’re standing there like “oh, what’s wrong with her?” How about she doesn’t like strangers getting all in her face? Envy

Mamabear4180 · 29/11/2017 16:40

In the nicest way, you're being precious.

MTverystressed · 29/11/2017 16:41

i remember i was in westminster with baby DD and a bunch of elderly tourists came over and were touching her hair (she had a beautiful black curly afro) Smile

I was a bit shocked but nodded and smiled they were only being nice.

user9217 · 29/11/2017 16:43

I've never had anyone do anything as drastic as that. I've had people come up with ds is in the buggy and look in and comment on how lovely he is, then gently stroke his foot/leg/hand, which doesn't bother me at all I think it's quite nice, but yanbu at the dummy thing. That's just weird

DJBaggySmalls · 29/11/2017 16:47

Yanbu, DS1 nearly choked on a coin given to him by a well meaning admirer. Theres no way I'd touch someone else's baby unless I was invited to.

user1493413286 · 29/11/2017 16:51

I’m with you OP; my baby was premature and discharged from hospital very little and it’s stressed me out people breathing too close to her as a cold would have put her back in hospital so I would have gone crazy at someone touching her and even now I wouldn’t like someone touching her. I’m not sure why people would

pictish · 29/11/2017 16:53

With the best of intentions, you're being rather hostile over something that's ultimately completely harmless. People used to pat and squidge my babies too...it didn't bother me.

RagingFemininist · 29/11/2017 16:55

Tickling a baby is one th8ng. Tickling them when they are feeding is another. So is taking the dummy out of the baby’s mouth (likely to end up with a screaming baby too,)

YANBU in this instances.

somanyusernames · 29/11/2017 16:57

i dunno, maybe they were trying to be friendly to a new mum and a new baby in the world. But of course, they're smokers, so they must die...

taking a baby's dummy out is clearly over a line, but I never had anything weird happen. I had mine in my babycarrier a lot when out though so not that touchable!

Frillyhorseyknickers · 29/11/2017 17:00

Or, calm down, and realise that people are being kind and lovely in admiring your baby.

Are people fucking dragged up these days? Look with your fucking eyes. I do not want some strangers grotty hands on anything of mine, not least the tiny brand new human with little immunity and very little tolerance to stuff like cigarette smoke.

It's another really invasive, rude follow on from strangers touching my pregnancy bump in the bastard supermarket.

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