To tell people to keep their f***ing hands off

[SugarNyx]

Twice this week people have come up to my baby and touched him in some way. One woman yanked his dummy out and said ‘lemmie see that smile’ - never met this woman in my life!

Just now, was quietly feeding ds and 2 women came over and pinched his cheeks, tickled his legs etc. They reeked of smoke too.

Why do people think it’s acceptable to touch a strangers child?!!

@ 'actually assault'.

Love it!

Chill out new mum!

i think there's definitely a line. if i'm standing in a queue and someone is holding a baby or i'm interacting with someone who's holding a baby i maybe hold my finger out to its little hand, but then i can never imagine touching a babies face that i do not know!!

it's the same as shaking an adults hand. i wouldn't hug a grown up i didn't know!

Sorry OP but I think you're BU. Agree with a PP that I've only ever seen this response on Mumsnet, I don't know anyone who thinks that way in RL.

Can't believe someone actually compared it to common assault

Yanbu! I had a man come over to us when we were queing in a coffee shop minding my own business. He took my ds dummy out and said 'you don't need that' he was only about 4 weeks and I think he was expecting a roaring laugh from him I was too shocked to speak and instead my friend said something to him.

I don't mind normal behaviour towards him though, I quite like it when people stop us to say hi/interact with him, however my ds (18m) bursts into hysterics! I've no idea why but he hates strangers speaking to him or paying him attention unless he initiates it first. They quickly move on!

Also just to add the man who came up to us was not in the queue, he just walked over to us. It would be less weird if my son was right beside him in a queue, although still a bit full on.

A lady once got a heck of a shock in supermarket as she took hold of dd’s hand when she was a baby sitting in the trolley. Dd had a prosthetic arm on.

Yanbu. There is a balance. It's fine to give an appreciative smile and maybe compliment you/baby. Quite another for a stranger to manhandle your child without permission! Esp if smelling of smoke!

I really don't know what is wrong with people, I would never dream of doing that but a lot of folk seem to think nothing of it!
They normally catch you off guard so you don't get much chance to react.
Also, the other day I was waiting with my 1 yo outside a shop when I man walked past, quickly his his face right in DS', shouted 'boo!' really loudly then carried on walking chuckling to himself. W.T.F

A man*

Quickly put his face*

Common assault tickling a babies legs?!
Maybe pulling the dummy out was a bit over the top but still not offensive.
Love to let people fuss and chat to my LO if they want to.

It depends as well. I'd have been, well, PFB with my PFB because he has an illness which makes him extremely vulnerable even if he catches a cold. With someone else's baby I'd ask, because you never know if they're vulnerable.

DC1 I was in a market looking at a brig a brac stall, woman does into the bassinet of my pram stroking his cheeks squeezing his hands and fussing.
Never looked at me or spoke to me once. Not once. Her husband's was looking on indulgently at his wife's antics and I was mometarily mute with shock. I then said a loud ERR HELLO?

Nothing, no response. Her husband looked at me awkwardly and moved her away.

Some people are just so wierd and treat babies like public property.

To all the people who think it's ok to touch strangers' babies, do you still do this knowing that there are other people who do not like it?

And for the record I don't know anyone with a baby/toddler who had not minded total strangers touching their babies and I have this conversation with a lot of people.

Oh, and YADNBU op.

Ginny - love your post! I'm going to look out for you in future, don't want to miss any more gems.

Know your rights ladies

Touching someone without their consent is assault. Look at Harvey Weinstein.

Babies are people too and are too young to give consent, as are children. Look at jimmy Saville.

Op if you don’t want anyone “assaulting” your baby, that is strangers touching without consent, tell them straight up and loudly to back off.

You’re welcome to spend your free time sadly cyberstalking me in future @hippyhippyshake I do hope you’ll learn something: may I remind you I’m not responsible for your progress in this regard- it’s up to you to engage your brain.

Oh god not this shit again!

Touching someone without their consent is assault. Look at Harvey Weinstein

Seriously? Fucking seriously?

A new low. You should be so proud

I think the pp who said You Are The Boss got to what I think is the nub of this argument.
I sometimes wonder if parents like the OP have ever felt like The Boss before, or is this the first time in their lives they can take control of something?
I just think attitudes like these are sad, misjudged and a bit hysterical tbh.
I agree with the pp who said they avoided talking to parents about their babies these days, for fear of offending in some way.
I struck up a conversation with a mum at a leisure club earlier this year, all very friendly until I expressed sympathy that her daughter was up at 4.30am every morning. Her complete demeanor changed and she became quite rude. Obviously it is very non-u to criticise anyone's child even indirectly nowadays. I was quite shocked actually, and from then on, have not struck up any conversation with parents for fear if putting my foot in it.
It's a sad state of affairs, I think.

Taking a dummy out is a bit much, that’s a step too far. I have a 7mo DD - in the last week I’ve had two different elderly ladies stroke her cheek and her foot, but it was so gentle and non-intrusive I didn’t mind. The one I did mind was a waiter in a cafe we were at - he shoved his face in her buggy while she was sleeping, and spent most of our meal calling to her and gurning and waving at her when she had woken up. That was annoying.

And for the record I don't know anyone with a baby/toddler who had not minded total strangers touching their babies and I have this conversation with a lot of people.

Well I don't mind and I've never noticed anyone else minding.

It's weird to call it assault.

People are so uptight sometimes.

@frillyhorseyknickers 😕 seriously? That's a bit much. A little old lady smiling at/tickling my babies toes is hardly "fucking dragged up" I know who I'd rather meet in the street! People are so odd, perfectly friendly person shows interest in my baby what should I do? How about smile back and say actually shes a bit poorly/tired/grumpy do you mind not touching her.. I hardly think people find your babies so irresistible they would ignore you and touch them anyway.

Strangers touching our babies pisses off every mum friend I have irl. Only on MN is it somehow nice and friendly to physically invade mum and baby's space and physically impose oneself onto the baby. I genuinely can't think of a situation where I'd be like "oh a stranger is touching my baby, how lovely"