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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School and religion

316 replies

ThisLittleKitty · 28/11/2017 23:06

Is it normal for a school (not a faith school) to teach children about Jesus? My son came home today telling me he had been told about "baby Jesus" and how he was "born on Christmas Day" I'm a little surprised by this as didn't realise the school would be saying this kind of thing. It's a very diverse school in south east london so many religions and we are not a religious family. Aibu to think this is not right?

OP posts:
FlouncyDoves · 29/11/2017 08:48

Child attends school and learns something shocker.

YABVU OP. This is a Christian country, where Christianity is the predominant religion. Not to mention the fact that primary schools teach about all faiths as part of learning about society and those around us.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 29/11/2017 08:49

No I have a daughter who is older. But this is their first year at school at Christmas (we had moved areas last year and hadn't got a place till February this year) well if they teach it what can I do but I'm not happy about it and when they get home I tell them it isn't true.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 29/11/2017 08:53

Well it's obviously the way it's being taugh. The only other thing my child has mentioned is Diwali but couldn't tell me anything about it other than it's name.

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 29/11/2017 08:53

How old are you, OP? Like a previous poster, I just can't understand you not grasping this. Surely you did this at school yourself?

Is this the same school that was involved in your son's coat going missing?

ShatnersWig · 29/11/2017 08:54

The only other thing my child has mentioned is Diwali but couldn't tell me anything about it other than it's name.

Probably not. He's 5 for crying out loud! You may even find he wasn't told quite precisely what you say he came out with about Jesus. Ridiculous.

hodgeheg92 · 29/11/2017 09:00

He was probably taught this with the wording "Christians believe that..." etc. But a teacher can't repeatedly say those three words before every single thing they say in a lesson about the Christmas story. He will be taught about other religions too.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 29/11/2017 09:32

Yeh same school. Coats vanished I looked again yesterday. Well I will be speaking to the teacher and asking to opt out

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 29/11/2017 09:35

He said to me "guess who was born on christmas day" and I asked who and he said "Jesus!" So I definitely think he was told it like that.

OP posts:
munkynutts · 29/11/2017 09:35

WTF?
Talk about it like it is fact?

It is a fact.

Its a fact from the mythology of christianity which forms the basis of western civilisation - and you are a citizen of this civilisation.

Get over yourself.

Do you also have a problem with him learning about the Greek gods and legends?

Or are you aiming to bring up a culturally anemic child?

WorraLiberty · 29/11/2017 09:40

And of course all 5 year olds report everything exactly as the teacher said it.

Have a word with the staff and check your facts before worrying about this sort of thing.

FlouncyDoves · 29/11/2017 09:49

So your 5 yr old learns that someone was born on Christmas Day and comes home excited to tell you. Who were you expecting them to say?!

The whole point of Christmas, it’s whole existence, is based on celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. It has been this way for hundreds of years. So YABU.

And I am not a Christian. I’m an atheist. But my two year old and I read books about the nativity and she says ‘baby jesus’ because she’s interested in babies and is learning.

This is turning into one of those ‘AIBU?’ ‘YES!!’ ‘No I’m not’ threads. Yawn.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 29/11/2017 09:51

Well I don't want my child being told something that didn't happen. I will just continue to tell him it's not true then

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/11/2017 09:56

You don't know he was told it as fact Hmm

Sillydoggy · 29/11/2017 09:57

The first problem is that non-faith schools are actually non- denominational not non- religious. There is no truly secular education in the uk. Schools vary in how strong their religious messages are and some can be extreme. There is a difference between teaching about religion ( which is what religious education should be) and religious observance. Occasionally one slips into the other when they forget to say ‘Christians believe’ at the beginning of the lesson. This often happens because RE is usually taught by people of faith and little children also get in a muddle. If this is happening you can challenge it as it is not the intention of the curriculum to teach religious belief as fact.
The only answer to religious observance is opting out and you can specify which parts you want to opt out of (e.g. my kids opted out of the church visits and sermons in school but remained in the carol concert and nativity play in the name of Christmas tradition and drama). You do need to check with them what they will do with your child if you opt out as some schools make inadequate arrangements. My school sent the kids to the library but a friend of mine’s made them sit in reception with nothing to do which is not ok)
The other thing you should do is sit down with your child and explain to them that at this time of year we tell this Christian story but it is just a story like any other. We can enjoy it without having to believe it. Tell your child what you believe. I did read stories from other religions at this time so it was easy to say ‘it’s just like the story we ready about Zeus and the nymphs last week’, we enjoy it but we don’t think it is true.

Good luck and don’t worry too much. With your clear message the confusion of the early years will gradually wear off.

FlouncyDoves · 29/11/2017 10:14

You can’t really say that though. You can say ‘I don’t believe that happened, and lots of others agree with me’. But there is no way to criticise the school on this one. They have a legal requirement to educate their pupils.

I would also say that you’re BU to believe every word your 5 yr old says. Children of that age don’t have the comprehension to differentiate between fact and fiction - something schools will teach them as they grow older (unless you have a problem with that too).

LoniceraJaponica · 29/11/2017 15:33

"I will just continue to tell him it's not true then"

Or you could say "Christians believe..."

Or could could say it is all made up, and so is Santa and the tooth fairy while you are at it.

You don't get it do you? You don't have to be a believer to celebrate Christmas, but the premise of Christmas is based on the fact that Christians believe that about 2000 years ago the son of God was born.

Why not just celebrate the winter solstice instead and have a present fest and leave Christmas out of it if you are going to be so obtuse.

I hope that the fact that your son is being taught about why we celebrate Christmas, and the origins will help him to be more open minded than you appear to be.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 07/12/2017 12:55

Well I don't want my child being told something that didn't happen. I will just continue to tell him it's not true then

Or you could tell him that you don't believe it. A little unfair to tell him it's not true when you don't know that for sure. A whole festival celebrated by millions of people and it's not true?

I don't celebrate Diwali but I wouldn't dream of telling ANYONE that the story behind it isn't true!

FrancisCrawford · 07/12/2017 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 07/12/2017 13:26

Um, the whole point of Christmas is it celebrates the birth of Christ. So it would be pretty impossible to teach about it without mentioning that. I assume as the concept offends you that much you don't celebrate Xmas at all?

Angrybird123 · 07/12/2017 13:32

I'm an atheist RS teacher whose two young children are at primary school with a chaplain and traditional nativity. Any question related to God goes 'well done people / Christians etc believe x. What do you think? It's not hard and when they are 5 they are unlikely to give you a word for word accurate account but it was probably something like 'Christmas is when Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus ' (who was a real person by the way so was born at some point). Nothing untrue there

isseywithcats · 07/12/2017 13:34

the actual date of december 25th is the date that christians celebrate thier ethos of christ being born on that day, the reality is that christians pinched a very important pagan date , as it was midwinter, there is a theory that the star constelations 2000 years ago suggests that jesus would have been born in the middle of april, but as that is celebrated by christians as easter there needed to be agap between the dates, op you could also tell your son that mid december is an important date to people who celebrate the pagan way of life, as in harmony with the world around them

SprinklesandIcecream · 07/12/2017 13:45

By nature, isn't Christmas the celebration of the birth of Jesus? It's a Christian celebration which your child was told about. You can argue whether he was born at Christmas or not, but to pretend Christians haven't been celebrating this day for eons.

Cannotwillnot · 07/12/2017 13:48

The only other thing my child has mentioned is Diwali but couldn't tell me anything about it other than it's name

...and did you go into school demanding that your child is not exposed to information about this religion? Did you take care to instruct your DC that Hinduism is all lies?

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/12/2017 13:48

What did your primary school teach you about Christmas OP?

DarlesChickens61 · 07/12/2017 13:50

Do you celebrate Christmas OP? Are you happy for your dc to take part in Christmas concerts? Do you not allow your DC to make Christmas decorations and Christmas cards for you in school?

If not your child can opt out of School Christmas events like Jehovah Witnesses can

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