About babies name?

[Linzerelli13]

Currently 39+6 with baby #2.
We already have a DD (3). Before we found out she was a girl we wrote a list of names for both boys and girls that we liked and narrowed it down to two for each. When we had it confirmed she was a girl we both picked the same name as our favourite.
When we found out that this baby was a boy, I assumed that we would use one of the top 2 boy names we had picked out for DD. DP has changed his preference though, and one of the names has been used by a family member. Fair enough, I thought, so we set about coming up with new names.
We've really struggled to agree this time around. He really wanted Arthur for a while, which I really don't like. (I mean no offence to anyone who has an Arthur, it's just not for me and and I don't feel that it goes with DD's fairly modern name)
We eventually agreed on Connor for all of 3 weeks and then HE Changed his mind again and we eventually settled on Jackson. We mutually agreed that we like it as there are plenty of nicknames and variations, it goes well with his last name and with DD's name.
I've now purchased personalised blankets, hat's, taggies etc as he was 100% that that's what he was called. DD has been calling my bump Jackson for about 6 weeks now too.
Just tonight, baring in mind its my bloody due date tomorrow, He's gone out for a drink with his brother, and come back DEMANDING that we call the baby Arthur.
He says that Jackson is a stupid name and too American and he wants to call the baby something traditional. Baring in mind he bloody chose it and promised me that he was 100% sure on it.
Now I know that this is his brothers influence. I don't particularly like him, He's an arrogant nobhead who has made remarks in the past that has made me not like him. When I was pregnant with DD, he told DP that 'you want to het rid of it. Variety is the spice of life and you dont want to be tied down to just one woman. Having a baby is a big mistake'. 2 months later his gf was pregnant. He also took the p*ss out of DD's name.
Anyway, when DP has come home after the 6 pints his brother has fed him, He's now adamant that Jackson is a stupid name and he wont be calling our son it. He doesn't even want baby to have his last name if it can't be Arthur.
AIBU? Or is he? And do you agree that his brother is a tw@t? Sorry for the rambling post.

Yes but he doesn't hate the name- he loved it up until this very evening, when he got bladdered with his brother who talked him out of it. Despite it being a truly crap time to get bladdered. And their having told their DD that it's the bump's name.

So it's not really about the name, is it?

OP you are clearly completely in the right, and hopefully it will all be fine in the morning...

What if he doesn’t look like a Jackson or an Arthur when he’s born?

We had chosen name if LO was a boy because we loved it and it was traditional 'eldest male of the generation' in DHs family, but when DS1 appeared he was so NOT the chosen name!
Why not agree to see which name suits him best when you see him? Think your DP will be feeling pretty loved up and mushy at that moment and will agree to anything.
(Love Arthur though )

I love Jackson. It was one of the whole 2 boys names me and DH agreed on. Put his stupid demands down to the drink and have a rational conversation in the morning.

I like to pick names before baby is here too (babies just look like babies to me) but I don't tell anyone the name because there's always someone that will try and put you off!

That’s a good point - what about Jack? Not too far off, and more traditional and less American

Firstly, love your name choices! Jackson and Connor were on our boy name lists (ended up with 2 girls)
Secondly, no name choices or changes should be made while 1 parent is pissed.
Thirdly, we chose names prior to babies arrival both times. They are a blank canvas when they come out and grow into their name, whatever it is. But we don't discuss true contenders with anyone else.

There is so much going on here!

Presumably your dp did not need to be fed the beer!

I think you get final say as you have grown the baby.

But, personalised stuff before baby is born is a really odd idea IMHO.

I would say to your dh, ok, throw away the Jackson stuff or sell it.

Back to drawing board, new name you can both agree on, once baby is here.

Or stick to Jackson.

His going out do 6 pints when baby is due shows a real lack of common sense on his part. The fact you two can't come to a pleasant agreement seems a massive shame in light of the miracle of new life you are about to give birth to.

Some families never get this fabulous event, two lovely healthy babies. You are both so lucky!

The one thing I will agree with you on, his brother sounds a vile nob head!

Good luck with the birth and don't take any crap, this level of stress over something so wonderful just isn't right.

Probably not helpful but I do like Connor

Me too!

But your baby, your decision OP - coming in pissed and making demands (re: anything!) wouldn't endear DH to me. You like Jackson. Call him Jackson with your surname.

Bugger your dp!

Ps I know you are not asking for opinions but Arthur is a much nicer name IMHO!

At least you're not going for "Jaxon" I suppose.

I don't like either name.

Just call him Jack.

Just tell him that he can go have a baby with his brother and call it Arthur if he wants but your baby is not being called Arthur. No matter how loudly he stomps his feel and beats his fists, so he's going to have to pull up his big boy pants and GET 👏 THE 👏 FUCK👏OVER 👏 IT.

And it having 6 pints suddenly makes him not want the baby to have the name you both agreed on and has made him change his mind the about the surname, is just say yup, fine. No problem. Jackson Yourlastname it is.

My partner liked one name, I liked another. I went with my choice because my partner was not going to disagree with me after the birth!! Also I used my surname. I'm sorry, others may disagree, but in my opinion, you grew baby, you get the final say.

I live in the US. I don’t know any Jacksons here but I know two Conners. I’m surprised at all the anti-American comments on here considering how well Brits have taken to everything American. Once I returned to the UK, having not stepped foot on English soil for 20 years, and thought I was still in the US almost.

I don’t like either name but each to their own. Sounds like you both need to agree on a new one.

In all of my pregnancies i've loved names till the day before the due date then decided i hated them.I honestly went from 'this is the best name ever' to 'jesus fucking christ, what was i thinking' in a second.

We had a list of a few names at each pregnancy (and they were all different as each pregnancy felt different, so we never carried any unused names over as they were always 'the name ds1 almost was') and then looked at the baby and had a think and then named them something completely different!

I would say you'll put it on the back burner, names don't have to be decided yet, concentrate on just having the baby and compiling a list of a few maybes. Then having another chat when the baby is here.

And you are going to have a lovely baby in a matter of days or even hours, really don't ruin it by stressing. Just enjoy it and ignore your dh's annoying drunken ramblings. Good luck. Squishy new baby squeezes. aaaahhhh

I would also go with Connor.

I think yanbu re the name but yabu to excuse him getting hideously pissed the night before your due date by blaming his brother.

I prefer Arthur and Jack, but not so keen on Jackson. Maybe meet the little fella and then decide.

I’m surprised at all the anti-American comments on here considering how well Brits have taken to everything American.

Not all of us . . . . . . .

Wait TIL he’s sober. You have to agree on a name. Jack as a compromise? I have very firm views about names I like biblical/saint names. There’s no way I’d have been happy deviate. Names have such an effect on how people view you. It’s important you are both happy with the name. Yes your DH is a dick for agreeing this but he was prob just trying to please you, at this stage what’s a few newborn gifts to a badge your son will carry round for a life time?

Hopefully he’s just pissed and will be back to normal tomorrow. I would personally put my foot down at Arthur as I think it’s awful! (Sorry!) He’s being a dick.

As for babies not looking like their names we had set names for our 2 before they were born, babies just look like babies IMO and come to suit their names :)

I think it's hilarious that everyone is telling you to name him Connor, as if you'd asked that

If I'd had 6 pints to drink, I wouldn't be able to say Jackson. It would come out as Jagggggthon.

I would be able to say Arthur quite clearly.
And repeatedly with my head down the toilet. (Arthur's middle name might be Ralph)

What if he only likes the name Jackson when he's sober? That would be weird.

To be honest, I think he's told his brother the name and his bro has laughed at it, said it's awful/made up or whatever. I don't think he's going to change his mind back now. Especially if he respects his brother's opinion on everything.

Like Mrs.K says, focus on the imminent birth of your lovely baby. It's not the end of the world if you don't use some of your personalised baby bits, although it's annoying.

Jagggthon could be an option. It's unique.