to love my small city flat and not EVER want the suburbs, even with expanding family?

[Wintergirl7]

It's me, DH and 5 month old DD
Background - We bought a brand new, well finished flat in city (not London) 4 yrs ago. We were very lucky in that someone cancelled buying it, and it has good rental/resale potential (already up £20k in value). My parents helped but now we've bought them out. Great location for walking - 2 mins from play park and small shop, large private ground floor terrace (3-4 car spaces size) 5-10 mins from nursery, church, our preferred state primary school and big beautiful park. Also allocated parking!
However, as with most new builds storage isn't brilliant. We have a an open kitchen/diner/living room space, 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms (one ensuite). Our bedroom has a walk in wardrobe, bedside tables and travel cot and we can just move around and no more. Other room, DD's nursery has a large storage unit and is about 4.5 by 3.5 m ish of floor space once you take account of that.

Here's the thing - I can't stand the suburbs. the idea of moving to one makes me claustrophobic. I grew up in a really nice one, and have experience of another two, but I find them so barren and isolating (a few hairdressers, coffee shop and corner shop?) compared to having theatres, parks, pubs so close. And the ones I like are unaffordable.
I love the variety of people, tourist and students in city etc not just families. I drive but I don't like to, DH drives, I like walking.

I love DD to bits and I'm a bit broody for no.2, but I'd be devastated to move from our neighbourhood. There may be 3 bedrooms close by, but we'll have to move towards the rougher bit of the city to afford them, which may cause primary school issues and I suspect they'll be snapped up.

WIBU to live in small-ish flat by choice, and live as clutter free as possible? Would it be fair to DD? Not until DD is a teenager or anything, but at least until sometime in late primary. DH is open to it, but willing to play it by ear. My friend has her two girls in bunk beds. We're considering a storage unit. People seem to assuming we'll be moving and look at me like I'm nuts.....

PS We are interested in trying to save (starting early!) to send DD to private secondary (3 excellent ones in area) but know it will cost an arm and leg, any threads/websites you can recommend please point them my way...

Why don't you stay put and have one child only?

Of course YANBU. You might change your mind when the kids get older (and have their own crap), but you might not either. Why would you move if you don't want to??

I could not agree with you more! Stay where you are for as long as you are able to and enjoy the perks of inner city living!!

The suburb I live in has a theatre. So has the one next to it

Do you think perhaps you might be generalising a bit?

YANBU. I love the city. I love walking. I love public transport. I'm never in the suburbs without noticing how different it is to the city. My DH had a miserable time growing up in a "family-friendly" suburb and would have been much happier in the city. I don't want to "move out", ever.

That said, we do have funds for a decent sized house and garden and I would think about what amount of living space you will need for bigger children and teenagers. They don't stay tiny forever.

You may want to consider moving to a st that is not open plan as she gets older (especially if you have another child) but if you are happy I see nothing wrong with it. British suburbia is pretty depressing so I can't blame you.

We're the same. Love the city centre too much. Find the suburbs unbearable. We bought a house that's much, much smaller than what we could afford elsewhere but it meets our needs. I have one child, expecting another and that will be it. We had to chuck a lot of stuff and be quite minimal, but that's a price worth paying.

I wish I'd stayed in the city centre...

It wouldn't be for me, but then I'm a total country girl and couldn't bear bring stuck in a tiny flat with no big outside space, however close to the shops it was (I live in a small village with one local shop and a tiny primary school surrounded by fields and woodland for miles) but of course YANBU if it is what you love! We are all different thank god, and if you can make it work then go for it. Can you look at some inventive space savers like built in cupboards in any wasted spaces/alcoves or under bed systems?

What is with the sneery attitude with people who live in suburbs? Or this just some middle class stealth boast post with the mention of rough areas and private schools?

What's sneery about saying you don't like the suburbs? Plenty of people (and I know this because they've told me) would hate to live where I live.

It wouldn't be for me, but that doesn't make you unreasonable - it's a matter of priorities. That said, you might well think differently with a toddler and a baby, or with one at school, one toddling and a baby. Or you might not.
It is neither reasonable nor unreasonable. It is what you and dh prefer to do.

It's become increasingly popular in the last 10-15 years for young families to choose to stay in more central urban environments because of the amenities and convenience. I would say that applies more to the inner Victorian suburbs of cities which, while not being the bland suburbia that I think you're scared of, still offer family sized houses.

Does your city have any areas like this?

We're in a small 2 bedroom flat in central London with 2 children (7 & 5) and know loads of people in the same boat.

Our lifestyle is a bit different to our friends and relatives who live in large 4 bedroom houses in other parts of the country, but we're pretty happy with our choice for now. Our children probably don't have so many toys, but we spend our weekends out and about exploring the city and the amazing free museums and parks.

There are down sides; not having enough room for play dates with more than one friend is tough in the winter, although not a problem in summer when we can meet in the park. There's no way we can throw birthday parties at home, but I'm not too sorry about that

There are some interesting blogs by families living in small, urban apartments that have some useful ideas about storage.

If you don't like something @Laurie then you're being sneery

Yanbu OP. I live in London in a 2 bed with 2 dd. I wouldn't move out of London but then we're not from the UK and I don't see the point of not being in London if we're in the UK.

2 bed house that should have been.

Yes it's fine, I brought my son up in a miniscule house his room was practically a cupboard. Mind you we did have a nice garden and a river and countryside out front.
If you have a park nearby and lots of things to do then why not stay there?

Well a 5 month old does not have loads of stuff so I smiled when I imagined how 2 kids and all their bits and bobs from years of birthdays and christmases and party bags etc etc build up. Believe me I am excellent and decluttering and keeping stuff tidy but I can imagine when/if you have more and older kids your opinion on living space may change. As for city vs suburbs do what makes you happy. I don't know many suburbs with one shop though but then I live in London and the 'burbs usually have their own individual feeling etc.

The Suburb Police won't be knocking on your door in the dead of night saying 'right, you lot. get packing, there's a three bed semi in the outer reaches waiting for you'.

If you're happy where you are, stay where you are! Flat living is the norm in cities the world over, NYC, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Berlin...

Yanbu. Wish we'd stayed in our city centre flat a lot longer! We had 2 dcs there and it's fine to have multiple kids - sharing a room took them a few weeks but they get used to it, we used all the parks on our doorstep far more than we get to use our cold wet suburban garden. The hardest things were storage, one noisy neighbour and as they got bigger we wished it was easier to drive occasionally, but it was fine. Such a lovely villagey atmosphere too, and not hard to take a train ride out for the weekend.

DH insisted we move to the burbs (not even that remote, only zone 3), and I don't like it. Longer commute, far less local choice, harder to meet people because less incentive to go out to local playgrounds and groups, and a nightmare if you don't drive.

If you love it, stay!!!

YANBU..I miss living in the city centre. There are plenty of good things about being where we are, but I would have loved to stay put.

Up to you where you want to live! Horses for courses (or rather stables).

Well your DC won't miss what they didn't have (space) so YWNBU to stay put if you are happy there. A school friend of mine moved to a very expensive part of London and bought a one bed flat with 2 DC. I was horrified by that but she says it is normal there. I visited her recently and I'm insanely jealous it works for her.

Gosh, live where you want, in the conditions you can afford and as you please. Really that’s the way it works in the U.K.

I grew up in the city, my parents decided they wanted to keep their 2.5 bed (well 2 and a large cupboard) flat and had 3 children. It was so crowded, they could have easily afforded a bigger house in the suburbs but they chose not to. I now live in the suburbs with my children and I love it. It’s so much cleaner, so many more parks, less pollution. My kids can play on the street.