To think if a mum is happy to leave 2 kids alone at a table the restaurant staff should leave them alone

[Kitsandkids]

Currently in a family friendly restaurant. A mum has taken a toddler to the toilet leaving 2 children aged anywhere between 5 and 8, at a guess, sitting at the table. They are not being rowdy, they are not crying, they are just sitting quietly. But when a waitress came over with their food she got annoyed that they are alone and has left another staff member standing next to the table. So now they are sitting in awkward silence waiting for mum to return. Is it just me who thinks if mum is fine to leave the together, and they're not causing a disturbance, the staff should leave them alone?

I don't think the mother was unreasonable to leave the children for a few minutes.
Equally, there was anything wrong with a waitress hovering nearby until she returned. I doubt she was annoyed. How was her annoyance displayed?
No reason for the mum to get huffy when she returns to the table either

zzzzz I can honestly say I have never felt nervous at the sight of a five year old You have nerves of steel.

Pengwwwn You have obviously never been to a party in my house then!

'I would be worried about the five year old leaving the table'

Your 5yo perhaps, but none of my 3 kids would have done, not past toddlerhood have I had to worry about that kind of random unpredictable behaviour in a public place, any more than I would with a 13yo or a 30yo! It's barely in the universe of possibility as far as I'm concerned. You trust them to behave responsibly, and, like magic, they do...

Maybe the waitress was waiting there because the mum's meal was ready and she wanted to bring it out?

Not all 5 year olds do unpredictable things. If yours never had (as mine didn't), you'd not worry about them suddenly starting, or you'd weigh up the probability of something bad happening vs not happening and assume it more likely that nothing bad would happen. Also, you'd decide that children will never learn to be on their own, to show they can be trusted, and the self-belief that comes with that, if you don't take calculated 'risks'

^ That was to Pengwynn

I also see that frogsoup said much the same

Pengggwn you are parenting out of fear. You have this vivid imagination where things will go horribly wrong if you leave them for 2 minutes. Your DC will be smothered by it and never learn how to cope by themselves. It's not fair to not give them any freedom in case the worst should happen all the time. It's not good for them and will make them overly anxious. I say this because you are being judgemental so it seems fair game that I can judge you on it too.

there were 2 kids. I appreciate I am old as Methuselah and so totally beyond reasonable, so very outdated, etc, but 8 and 5 year olds are perfectly capable of sitting at a table waiting for mum for 5 minutes or so. I have no idea how the human race would survive if this were not the case!

Another one as old as Methuselah here who is a bit appalled at the idea that children cannot never, ever be left alone. Yes things can happen but even when a parent is there.

My mother used to let me two-year-old sister walk a mile only in the company of a dog. I sent my dd to school alone on a city bus at the age of 5. Are this generation of children particularly backward and incapable?

I'd love to know what risks you would take pengggwn...

Thing is, the parent didn't leave them alone with the food did they? I can easily imagine a situation where a child chokes/spills something/ burns their mouth and the returning parent causes trouble.

You don't take any risks where children are concerned, end of story.

My guess is that the waitress came over with the food, asked the children "OK, who is having the chicken" or whatever and got either "I don't know" or no answer at all (taught not to speak to strangers). Then asked where their Mum is and got a wobbly lip and "I don't know."

And these will be perfectly normal, confident children, who normally won't shut up, who know exactly who is having what food because they just spent 10 minutes arguing about it, and know perfectly well where their Mum is. It's just that in a case like this they go all "deny everything, Baldrick" and the poor Mum ends up looking neglectful when she probably went through with the DCs what to do in every eventuality in the five minutes she'd be gone, from the food arriving, through one of them being sick right up to the restaurant catching fire.

Children do not learn common sense if they are never given responsibility in a gradual, thought-through way

I tend to discount the reasoning of people who say 'end of'. End of

^ that was to Meh

I let my 6 year old play outside unsupervised.

At school they run around the playground with very little supervision while eating snacks.

I would definitely leave 5-8 year olds unsupervised for 5-10 minutes at a table.