To think gender alters the perception of what is said on MN?

[1DAD2KIDS]

I use a username that clearly identifies my gender (and is also my biological sex). Often I feel that if people assumed I was a woman their response would be different. Or if you swapped the genders around some people's responses would be completely different?

[1DAD2KIDS]

shorty6768 perfectly agree. Probably the reverse on a male dominated site and completely wrong IMO.

[Lweji]

Lweji
classic

Congrats. It looks like you got the joke.

[Pumperthepumper]

It would be like me suggesting that you should go round disguised as a male. Maybe that could help you protect you from sex based bias , Like the female authors of old using Male alias to get published? Would that be right?

You’re assuming I’m female then?

[CheeseyToast]

1DAD2KIDS I don't usually notice usernames, I've only noticed yours because your posts are usually very long, dull, and belligerent. It's a shame you hold yourself up to be representative of men in general, not a good look for them at all.

[1DAD2KIDS]

Lweji We have something a bit more to add than childish Male impotence digs that really say a lot more about you and what I'm talking about than me (plus water off a ducks backs)?

Is there one male perspective? what do you think?
Bit of a silly one really. I guess your intent is to imply that I think I speak for all males. Clearly I don't. My life experience is different from many. Just the same as we all have different perspectives based not only on many different factors. But I think most people get that in a conversation were a male perspective has a value then mine as well as others maybe different male perspectives add value. I don't think anyone thinks that men and women are socialised and treated by society in the same way? So yes the fact that I am male and my experience maybe be very different just based on my sex can be a part of the jigsaw. No doubt in these conversations MN could do with more male voices as you understand as well as I do I can only talk from my own experience and not everyman. But is disingenuous to suggest that a male voice doesn't add to some conversations a different piece of the jigsaw that is important.

[1DAD2KIDS]

Pumperthepumper correct. Maybe your not. The point is everyone assumes naturally you are female on here without any sex obviously username. Naturally so because its mums net. For the reason I have stated due to this assumption of sex my username identifies me as male.

[HerSymphonyAndSong]

God you can’t move for male perspectives in RL and everywhere else on the internet (most of whom think they are totally objective and “rational”). I come here specifically for the female voices

[1DAD2KIDS]

CheeseyToast where do I hold my self up to respect men in general? I am probably not like most men. But I do experience the world as man like any other.
Also I'm sorry you find my posts a drag. I would hate to feel I am depriving you of something better to do.

[1DAD2KIDS]

HerSymphonyAndSong fair enough, you come to the right place. Not a lot of male perspective on here and I support you in that.

[Pumperthepumper]

That wasn’t your point at all - you were suggesting that I could ignore the oppression of women if I pretended to be male. It didn’t even cross your mind that I might not be female.

[Sparklingbrook]

I have a father, a husband, a brother and two teenage sons. I have all the male perspective I need, so I don't look for it on MN, it's not why I joined TBF.

[HerSymphonyAndSong]

Thanks for your support, it means a lot

I have been here many years and male posters like you come and go. This thread is nothing new. You have nothing original to add, nothing that anyone (particularly any woman) hasn’t heard before, especially given that most of society and our socialisation is filtered through the male perspective. You’re just regurgitating predictable lines of argument but you think you’ve got some sort of clear and unique insight. You haven’t. I’ve never seen your username before and I won’t remember it, but I could have predicted all your posts on this thread (in a less long-winded way perhaps)

[1DAD2KIDS]

Pumperthepumper read my message. I agreed I assume your female. It is a natural assumption you are on here, that my not be so. It was not some clever play, it genuinely didn't cross my mind you may not be female. As I stated I genuinely made that assumption as most people on here would. The point was referring to earlier points about the reason my name is reflective of being a dad and thus implying I am male.

[WiseDad]

No no no. It's the patriarchy and men don't understand women, how else do you explain you (and I) clearly misunderstanding replies to comments you make that highlight you are a bastard not understanding the female viewpoint. The point of view that you put forward reveals the hypocrisy ideals that Mumsnet debaters have.

Just kidding. Most people are lovely but it only takes a few to rather detail things. Assumptions are made based on the perceived gender of the poster by the respondent that alters the response. Being told off for "mansplaining" is completely intolerable in my view as would be a post if I made some gross sweeping generalisations about woman always nagging.

Very brave of you to raise this. I made a comment in the survey about this as it is something that puts me off the forum. There are lots of good people with good advice but it only takes a few....

[birdsdestiny]

Oh fuck there's two of them.

[HerSymphonyAndSong]

I love that they think they’re brave :D

[Pumperthepumper]

Here’s a suggestion: don’t mansplain. There’s been a lovely, very clear, definition of ‘mansplaining’ on this thread. How can you be accused of it if that’s not what you’re doing?

1DAD so what was your point about pretending to be male if not to ignore the oppression a woman might face?

[MaryLennoxsScowl]

You answered a survey about what women want from a womens' site used predominantly by women by saying you want male voices to be more heard? At least that must have given HQ a laugh.

[1DAD2KIDS]

Pumperthepumper to be fair I thought most people would understand the point. The point was to suggest I disguise my sex to avoid sexual bias would be the same as me saying to you disguise your sex (with the assumption you are female, granted we don't know) to avoid sexual bias. Why should anyone have to disguise their sex? The sex is not a problem, the bias is.

[Pumperthepumper]

But there’s a very good reason for the bias, which has been pointed out to you several times - and you’ve yet to state any topic that a male perspective is specifically needed without it being explicitly asked for.

I suggested men’s health, can you think of another? If not, why is it so important to you that people know you’re male?

[IfyouseeRitaMoreno]

Whenever those threads come up where the female is the baddie they don’t necessarily get an easier ride. What they do get is a lot of “if the genders were reversed they’d be an outrage”. Which is a way of positing yourself as the minority view when really you’re the mainstream.

[Lweji]

Lweji We have something a bit more to add than childish Male impotence digs that really say a lot more about you and what I'm talking about than me (plus water off a ducks backs)?

Who's we?

And why did you ignore my more serious post about "a" male perspective?

What does that say about you?

[1DAD2KIDS]

Pumperthepumper Well just the amount of conversations asking for a male perspective indicates that some people in some conversations value it. As you may remember I say some conversations its of significance. In the same way that say class, race or gender identification may have significance to some other conversations. For many conversations these factors may have no significance. It don’t take much to work out there maybe value to a male angle in many categories such as AIBU in conversations where sex is a factor, Relationships, Divorce/separation, Parenting for example. The world is still so divided on grounds of sex. But to be fair your question is a bit of distraction from the question of sexual bias. Its more about the presence of bias and hierocracy in relation to sex than a question of when and when not a male perspective is of significance. You are making a very big thing of it but all I was simply adding to the conversation was the there is sometime significance to male voices in some conversations. That’ll all.

Anyway I have stated before why my username suggests I’m male. I don’t know why you keep in a roundabout way asking the same questions? Partly because on here (and naturally so, not an issue with that, its mums net) the assumption would be I am female. I am happy to identify as male on here. Do you have a problem with my choice to do so? Should I disguise my sex. Surely the problem should not be my sex, it should be the sexual bias.

[1DAD2KIDS]

IfyouseeRitaMoreno this is not about minorities. Its just a simple question about sexual bias and if other people see. The consensus seems to be its very much a thing.

[1DAD2KIDS]

Lweji We have something a bit more to add than childish Male impotence digs that really say a lot more about you and what I'm talking about than me (plus water off a ducks backs)?

Who's we?

And why did you ignore my more serious post about "a" male perspective?

What does that say about you?

Well not sure if you just totally missed my reply Mon 27-Nov-17 22:10:20 or your deliberately trying to mislead people?
So here it is again just for you, on your question of male perspective:

what do you think?
Bit of a silly one really. I guess your intent is to imply that I think I speak for all males. Clearly I don't. My life experience is different from many. Just the same as we all have different perspectives based not only on many different factors. But I think most people get that in a conversation were a male perspective has a value then mine as well as others maybe different male perspectives add value. I don't think anyone thinks that men and women are socialised and treated by society in the same way? So yes the fact that I am male and my experience maybe be very different just based on my sex can be a part of the jigsaw. No doubt in these conversations MN could do with more male voices as you understand as well as I do I can only talk from my own experience and not everyman. But is disingenuous to suggest that a male voice doesn't add to some conversations a different piece of the jigsaw that is important

Oh by the way the “we”was a simple writing error, but I guess most people got that.