To ask you to settle our squabble please?

[bitofwhatyoufancy]

Hi! So we can't agree and have decided to ask the people on mumsnet to help us out.

Two parents not a couple but good friends and co parents.

Five year old ds has a hobby exam next weekend. The problem is it clashes with his close friend's birthday party.

Parent A: he needs to learn about responsibility and commitment and letting him duck out sends a poor message so we choose the exam.

Parent B: he's five and it's not as if the exam will affect his career, let him have fun at the party.

Which would you choose?

We promise to abide by majority opinion.
Thanks!

Exam can be rescheduled, go to the party.

Parent A. I know a lot of people will say he's only 5 and it doesn't matter but I honestly think that children should learn about commitment as early as possible.

5 year olds should not be under exam pressures. That's hugely unreasonable, irrespective a party.

Send the child to the party and let them enjoy being 5 for god's sake.

What does the 5 year old want to do?

Party

Party. Definitely party.

Which did he 'accept' first? I would go with whichever is confirmed attendance I am sure this makes me sound boring

Whatever the child prefers!

Mad

He loves his hobby but would pick a party over an exam any day.

Party (but my DH would say exam)

Party.

Then party.

An exam at 5??? Jesus wept, party!

Yes what you signed up for first. If he has entered the exam and registered to to that

Lalala82

Exam day has been booked since October but not the time. Party was accepted two weeks ago but then when exam times were released we realised there was a clash. If that makes sense?

He's only five. I'd let him go to the party.

Which had been committed to first? Has the exam been paid for? Can you get a refund? Can it be rescheduled?

If the answer is Exam, yes, no, no, then you have to go for the exam.

If the answer to question 4 is yes, then see what the kiddo says.

I'd do exam, unless it could be rescheduled in a month or two but arrange a fab day out for ds and birthday boy.

What is a "hobby exam? Something like a dancing exam? Plenty time for that in the future for a 5 year old!

So party obviously!

If the exam can be rescheduled he learns about compromise.
Can he be involved in discussing with his hobby tutor why he won't be doing the exam and when it can be rescheduled for?

I'm voting for party, btw!

I’d defintely ask the child what he wants to do.

If he chooses Party, I would explain that when he’s older exams are v important and he wouldn’t beable to reschedule but as he’s 5 , he can choose.

Ah really difficult then! If the exam can be rescheduled I'd prob try and do that then but as above get him a little involved with discussion as to why (I'm not saying don't take him to party just that it's good to start to understand responsibility)

If you want him to carry on enjoying his hobby reschedule the exam (exams for 5 year olds ) and let him go to his friend's party. If he starts to associate his hobby with missing out on other fun stuff that his friends all go to, he'll most likely start to reject the hobby.
He's 5 years old - learning about responsibility can come later.

What would the implications of not doing the exam be?

(If I had to choose now I'd say exam.)