To ask you to settle our squabble please?

[bitofwhatyoufancy]

Hi! So we can't agree and have decided to ask the people on mumsnet to help us out.

Two parents not a couple but good friends and co parents.

Five year old ds has a hobby exam next weekend. The problem is it clashes with his close friend's birthday party.

Parent A: he needs to learn about responsibility and commitment and letting him duck out sends a poor message so we choose the exam.

Parent B: he's five and it's not as if the exam will affect his career, let him have fun at the party.

Which would you choose?

We promise to abide by majority opinion.
Thanks!

The thing he committed to first (the exam).

Have we stopped saying 'hobby exam' yet? What is the hobby?

Party anyway, and I'm quite big on 'commitment to stuff you're doing'.

Any old party - exam
Close friend party - party

It's about his friend too

Party. Five year olds should not be missing out on normal activities to take exams

He's 5, so party. Like a pp said...what exam could possibly matter at 5?

Exam

Party. He's only 5.

I'm guessing it's something like music/ballet/judo.

I'd probably have chosen exam. I don't think the dc would have wanted not to do it having got ready. And when the other are getting results and certificates they'll feel left out.
But also with ballet and music it cost such a lot to enter (around £30 plus) and ut wouldn't be refundable, so that would effect the decision too.

Although I don't think we had any exams until about age 7yo, so I may be wrong on what it is.

At 5yo, party.
At 9~10yo, exam.

Who with he be with at the time?

I'd say party if the exam can be rescheduled easily & no big loss financially.

If not maybe exam & treat with friend?

I'm surprised reading this that there are people saying exam. I thought it would be a unanimous party vote. Because he's a little boy.

Depends on how important the exam is , if not that important then the party, At 5 years old i doubt the exam will have any effect if he doesnt do it so i would choose party

Party.

Rebook the exam.

This is a great opportunity to discuss something I've struggled with my whole life....balance. Unless your child is so self-driven (and some children are) that he might feel he's letting himself/you/his teacher down by choosing to go to the party, he should definitely go and have fun. Life is for living, especially at 5.

I would let him decide.
Either do the exam and have a day out with friend later on to make up for missing party
Or
Go to party and reschedule exam.
If he can't decide I'd go with the first option and big up the treat with friend.

Party 🎉

DS1 is 11. He is invited to his best friend's party on the day of a music concert he should be doing. At the moment we think that the party is more important ( has struggled with friendships, doesn't get invited to many parties) - music teacher completely agreed with us, despite relying on him to keep his section on track. At 5 you tend to get invited to more parties though - so I would only choose the party if it is a close friend and/or it is an activity that he would really enjoy.

As a leader of extracurricular activities, and parent of 5: if the examiner has had to be booked externally then the teacher will be super-stressed and cancellation will possibly impact your child longer term: thus if dance exam or martial arts grading I'd go to that.
if it's something that the teacher examines: swimming or similar, then miss for a close friend's party.
With PFB we never missed any organised thing, but much more relaxed towards the last of the five!!!

I would let him choose. However, he could as compensation have a great outing as a birthday treat with his friend. You could offer that as a deal. Sometimes kids go to 20 similar parties a year and so missing one is no big deal.

Party! Of course!

Party. For the sake of his friend.

Omg party every time! Exams or gradings for a hobby are just not that important at 5 years old.

Party