hubby ruined dds birthday present surprise!

[Lisajane2810]

its my daughters 14th in a couple of weeks and she wants the obligatory ipad for her birthday. i managed to get one and it was delivered yesterday and hubby took the box as i was at work. he the left to go to an appointment and left it there until daughter got home from school. it had a label on the box on several places saying rose gold ipad so she now knows exactly what she is getting. i know shes not a baby but we had the excitement going as to whether she would get it as money not great at the moment so cant get her anything else. he got back from hospital around midday so had plenty of tme to hide it. he is actually shouting at me because im upset with him. dd going out to sleepover tonight and im furious!!! am i overreacting??

I would be really upset too but the packaging shouldn't have had it printed all over it in his defense, especially at this time of year. Your daughter will still be over the moon, she is very lucky.

Hmm, need more info.

Was it a genuine mistake or is he generally thoughtless?

I'd not be happy with being shouted at. Is he always like this?

And an iPad is an amazing present, not sure why you'd need to get her something else, it's plenty on its own.

YABU - it was an accident.

It sounds like an easy to make mistake. Would you be happy to be treated the way you are treating him if it were the other way round?

Sorry, I'd say YABU. Your DD is a teen, not a young child. She'll enjoy her new ipad just as much even if the surprise was somewhat spoiled.

The surprise element is lost but on the other hand your DD gains two weeks of happy anticipation

YABU it was an accident.

A few years back we bought the kids a PS4. I took delivery of it (it was a brown box) and left it in the hall for DH to take upstairs. The kids came in and said “thanks for the PS4 Mum!” I thought how the hell do they know, and they pointed out a sticker on the side of the box that I’d not even noticed. We all laughed and we still made them wait till Christmas.

It sounds like a genuine mistake and frankly YAB a bit U to be making such a scene about it .

im just annoyed. our bedroom is nearer the front door than the lounge! yes he is usually thoughtless and i do feel i have to control everything and its just something that would be important to me so i would never do it. plus it was right on the coffee table so it not like he wouldnt have seen it all day! she saw it as soon as she walked in :(

No OP, you don't have to control everything you absolutely choose to do that.

Your daughter didn't have to get up close to the parcel either as it wasn't addressed to her. She's partly the author of her own disappointment if she is disappointed but, as ScreamingValenta says, she has two weeks of anticipation.

This was an oversight.

careless and very thoughtless...... I'm be annoyed too.. how hard is it to move a parcel into a room ffs

Maybe he was distracted by a hospital appointment? It isn't that big a deal, she will still love it.

Way too much drama.

What is the "surprise" that your husband has ruined for your daughter?

You said that she wanted a new iPad. Did she ask for one? Because if she asked for one, depending on how accommodating you are with requests, there must have been a reasonable chance she already knew what she was (probably) getting.

Was the ruined surprise the fact that it was a rose gold (nice) iPad? If so, I don't think ruining the surprise re the colour of the item is a biggie.

I'd be furious too!! However I can imagine the same conversation in our house!

Was there ever any doubt that she get it? She told you what she wanted; you got it... It was never going to be that much of a surprise, surely? Particularly when you use the word "obligatory".

Yes she would have been upset if you made out she might get it then the surprise was she didn't get it after all.

when i said obligatory i meant typical teen kind of way. i think as it will be her only present and a case for it so disappointed that no surprise. she probably did guess but i have been saying to her depends on money etc so she didnt know definetely. oh well as others have said she will still love it.

Was he in agreement with getting the iPad, for her birthday?

he doesnt usually get involved with the presents but yes he knew she was getting it and was fine with it

If he has form for being thoughtless and spoiling important days/celebrations/presents then YANBU.

Kindly, Lisajane, if this is her only present then it wouldn't be a surprise anyway? But, if this is the thing that she wants more than anything else, all else will fade into insignificance because her wishes have come true, her parents have bought her the Rose Gold IPad that she desired so much.

Put it into perspective and try not to let your annoyance build and affect what is actually a very nice thing.

Your daughter should really know better than to look at parcels so close to her birthday too. Next time, she will keep her eyes firmly forward, no doubt.

kids ask for a multitude of things.. DOESN'T mean they're getting them ...

I would be annoyed. Last Christmas we got our son a laptop. He'd been begging for three years but we wanted to wait until secondary age and it WOULD have been a surprise.

I sorted the laptop. asked husband to get a wireless mouse as an extra.

We have our main presents after lunch - this is relevant. So ... Christmas morning. Kids excitedly open stockings. Husband had only gone and put the mouse in with the stocking presents. So son then knew exactly what he was getting. He said (as younger sister was in earshot) "well that was a bit silly if Santa wasn't it?"

Presuming you had no idea what time the parcel would be delivered, surely there was a reasonable chance that DD herself would have been the one to receive it in the first place ??