To be seething at DH

[Midge1978]

I have looked after dd all week with the vomiting bug and now I’ve come down with it myself. Dh is refusing to look after her this afternoon because he wants to go to the football. He’s now trying to guilt trip dd into going to her grandma’s when she doesn’t want to. Aibu to think that just this once he should look after dd and put his own interests second?!

I'd tell him not to bother coming back.
I'm so sorry you are poorly.
Both you and dd deserve better, there seem to be some useless men spoken about on threads today.

Norovirus only lasts 24 hours...

Norovirus can last ages and leaves you feeling ill for days afterwards. He's astoundingly selfish.

Trouble is his mum supports him so I am outnumbered x

She could still be infectious. It lingers for days. I visited a friend 2/3 days after they’d had the all clear and was violently ill with d&v. He is being very irresponsible on two counts. And your dd is very little and wants to be home, poor kid.

* Norovirus only lasts 24 hours...*

Norovirus can easily last for days and the after effects can carry on for weeks in small children, people with poor immune systems or the elderly.

OP he should be staying home and caring for his sick wife and small child, not gallivanting off to the football and palming DD off on his mother.

However the fact that his mum supports him implies that she let her husband go off while she did all the nursing of sick children, so he probably sees this as normal.

Your five-year-old can be taken to her grandmother's a tucked up there, it's not the end of the world but I think the important thing here is you, OP. I imagine you would like to have someone to check up on you and make sure you have everything you need, and that is only fair.

Just make sure that when he catches it, you bugger off on some non-essential jaunt and leave him in charge of dd.

I caught norovirus from my sister's family 48 hours after last symptoms. He's selfish.

Just make sure that when he catches it, you bugger off on some non-essential jaunt and leave him in charge of dd.

I get the sentiment but not fair on DD.

Will he come home late/drunk, OP?

If his mum wants her, she'll have a better time there. Grandma gets what she wants, DH gets what he wants, you get what you need and honestly, at 5, once DD is there she will have a lovely time. I'd let it go , I think YABU to be seething, save your energy.

Feel better soon

YANBU op. He's negating his responsibilities. H did this to me a few months ago, and I'm not sure that I can forgive him.

Please give us an update later informing us that he got the bug when he was at the football and it was all very unfortunate and embarrassing...

Bit of an overreaction on this thread.

DD will have a good time at her granny's who loves to look after her, DH will be out of the way for the afternoon as will DD so OP can sleep, it's win-win really isn't it?

And nowhere has OP stated that she has nurovirus, and even if she does, the advisory for that is no different to any other stomach bug i.e. 48 hour exclusion, so anyone saying that DD is still contagious is just using that as a reason to have a pop at the DH.

He should be looking after YOU, never mind your DD.

You can get your own back when he starts to vomit (as he almost certainly will) - you can go out to do whatever you enjoy and leave him to puke alone.

I get the sentiment but not fair on DD.

It won't kill her, but anyway, it's no more unfair than his proposals for this afternoon. Either dd goes to Grannie's (which she does not want to do) or has to amuse herself while the OP vomits. But that's all fine, as long as his plans for watching football aren't disrupted.

It's very selfish of him, is he one of those football fans that feels he has to go every week? He's a dad now, he needs to put his family first. Obviously their DD is well enough to go to her Grannie's, in that she's not infectious, but she probably hasn't got her strength back and wants to be at home. And OP isn't well and needs to rest.

I don't see the problem if his mum wants to have DD and he has plans.

If you use sitters so you can do things then YABU as surely he's allowed to do the same.

Who suggested trade the afternoon for Sunday? That's what you do when you're both healthy! When one parent is ill the other takes over. Some people have very low expectations.

Can’t see the issue? MIL wants to see her and enjoys her company. If she goes it makes everyone happy. You get peace, DH gets the footie and MIL gets time with her granddaughter

It’s winning all round surely?

raffle and Butter, the OP said her DD doesn't want to go and would rather have spent the time at home. Her father has been trying to guilt trip her into going to Grandma's. Is that not an issue either?

I'm sorry but I wouldn't let my 5yo dictate my life. She may not want to go initially but she'll have a great once she's there.

She;s not dictating! She's a little girl who's been poorly and would like to stay in her own house.

Not unreasonable.

But she isn't poorly anymore. The DH has plans and a willinging babysitter so there isn't a problem.

If it was the DH who was ill and the OP wanting to go out but DH not wanting her too he'd be labelled controlling.