To use caterers in my own home?

[thatsenoughalready]

Can I ask, do people think it's bit rude to use caterers if you're hosting a dinner party at home? I've done quite a few dinner parties recently and another one tomorrow night. Now DH has asked people over next weekend and I can't be bothered. Would it be odd?

No he has not been to the North Pole but since January he has - climbed a mountain overseas ………… DS1 trekking in India and has done two-triathlon events. That's 2017. Soon he's going to Sweden or Finland to drive the cars on ice. So you get the idea.

Yup. The idea I get is that he does what the fuck he wants while you run round after him looking after the children, house and providing a three course meal whenever he demands.
When do you get to do what you want? Do you have hobbies? Do you get to go and indulge yourself abroad while he looks after the house and family?

Just read your latest update op.

And what have you done for you (or for so called "charity") in 2017?

I have a feeling I know the answer.

His dinner party. He sorts it. Start standing up to him before your DC start thinking this is what a balanced relationship looks like.

You say he isn’t selfish? He is in my book - demanding last minute catering and endless holidays - he’s living the life of a single man. What happens if you’d like a dinner party with your friends - will your DH be doing the catering? When do you get to take your holidays?

I wish you’d stop accepting a second class role as the 1950’s wife.

Well he actually didn't go out on the bike today. I was at the school fair until 1pm and running round since. We have guests from 8pm. He just walked through the kitchen and said "smells delicious". I told him I'm shattered and I need a clear weekend. He came over and was hugging me and he said he does appreciate it and "whatever I want". He's very good at saying the right things and then carrying on regardless, but I'm not doing this next weekend again. Thanks for all the comments.

Well he actually didn't go out on the bike today. I was at the school fair until 1pm and running round since.

Oh big deal. He didn’t spend all day doing whatever he wants?
What did he do if he wasn’t on his bike?
WHEN DO YOU GET TO DO WHAT YOU WANT?

Sorry I should say that I do yoga and pilates in the week and I can go for a run then. To be honest, I feel like I actually need the space in the day to recharge so I can cope with DH and the kids. The mornings and evenings are hectic in this house but the DC are all school age so I'm not running round after them all day anymore.

You get to go to the local leisure centre and do some yoga and he gets to fuck off to another country and climb mountains. That’s comparable.

Are you raising your DC’s in the same way as your relationship with your DH? What example are you setting your DD’s?

What @HidingBehindTheWallpaper said.

Op this must be difficult but think whether you would be happy if your DS treated a partner this way. Or if your DD was in a similar relationship. I suspect you wouldn't want it for them.

OP I have no problem with traditional marriages/gender roles (if that's what both people want) but honestly your marriage sounds unhealthy and depressing. He doesn't respect you.

Basically, he is not lazy and works crazy hours. He holds a lot in and I feel like I can't ask him to do stuff e.g. cooking for whatever reason.

He may not be lazy in work but he is in his personal life. Again, dripping in male entitlement; doing as he pleases and getting his wife to run around after him with no thought to her wants and needs