To use caterers in my own home?

[thatsenoughalready]

Can I ask, do people think it's bit rude to use caterers if you're hosting a dinner party at home? I've done quite a few dinner parties recently and another one tomorrow night. Now DH has asked people over next weekend and I can't be bothered. Would it be odd?

I remember that thread.

The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills/Orange County/etc all use caterers. Go for it.

I remember the earlier thread - very grim and doesn’t sound like anything has changed.

It's fine to use caterers for a dinner party. DH and I don't like cooking so we always get a takeaway or ready made food if people come over. The real issue is why do you let your DH treat you like a housekeeper? What would happen if you say you don't want his friends to come over next weekend?

He is working a lot less but I had to go through a lot with him to get him to recognise that. He's doing less sports and has become more patient just being at home. I can't believe people remember that thread- that's embarrassing.

People remember your earlier thread as you were having a horrible time but nothing seems to have changed which is why people are commenting now. Why doesn’t your DH order a takeaway for his friends to save any cooking as it doesn’t sound like he is prepared to do any work.

Well now instead of just being at home the next step is to pull his weight.

I've not seen the previous thread so have no baggage with your posting history.

So what are you going to do? Tell him his options are order it from Cook or do it himself? Or give in and quietly seethe?

Where I live it's totally normal for any party with more than about 6 people. Who wants to spend their own party cooking and worrying about food.

Of course not. Alice Staple is beyond brilliant and does everything, washes up, and is incredibly nice. Google alice's kitchen. She does celebs as well and is not expensive :)

Cook meals are generally awful, they taste frozen. If you can afford a caterer/
Chef why wouldn't you? Cook deserts are a lot better than the mains though.

Absolutely fine, I would. 😄

You sound like your DH's housekeeper, OP, and not his wife.

I am going to tell him that the weekend flies by and it's not just the cooking, it's the planning and shopping and clearing up. I will sort the caterers for next weekend. I was just wondering if it's a bit off, but obviously not.

So he does no domestic work unless he's asked to - and then he fucks up whatever he's been asked to do.

That's not 'lovely'. That's deliberately training your wife to 'know her place' - domestic work is women's work and she's really just a servant. Fits in with the inviting friends over and expecting you to cater and serve, without even asking you.

I wonder what he would do if you were going out the evening he invited friends over?

We did similar for our wedding anniversary. Rented a house for a week and on the day picked up pre-ordered food from M+S.

Worked really well, no one thought it odd - or at least not within our earshot!

You can then enjoy the day/evening.

Now children are older/adult we invite them to cook. We eat like kings!

Oh God, another doormat. What is it lately with these pathetic women writing threads about their 'lovely' partners that treat them like dirt?

Raise your expectations. Please.

He won't sort it well he will if the option is that all his friends turn up and there is no dinner.
Tell him you are going out that night so it’s up to him.

He works and has hobbies/sports?
What about you, op? Do you work outside the home? Do you get the chance to indulge yourself in hobbies?

We always entertain around 10 friends plus their kids. We had a local lady cook everything for a New Year's Eve party last year. I normally cook. It was a million times better. It was the first New Year's Eve I have enjoyed. I will be calling the lady again. The food was much better too.

A dinner party should showcase your merits as a woman and capable housewife

Is this a joke? It isn't the 1950s. None of us needs to prove ourselves a "capable housewife." As far as our "merits as a woman," I think that is pretty much limited to things one does after the guests leave and doors are locked.

Did you know that the entire cult of domesticity of the 50's was a marketing campaign to get women back out of factories after WWII was over? So men could have their jobs back, after women had proved we could do them?

This all sounds like wifework to me.
Your DH is a cock, by the way.
Tell him to sort it himself.

@Danitruth are you the OP’s husband by any chance?

Dani - I'm not showcasing anything and I think you're on a wind up.
I really don't want to come across as "another doormat" as judgejudy says because relationships are multi-faceted. DH is very kind in many ways and very generous. He can be difficult and he knows this. I think there are lots of men who are useless in this area or they need things pointing out.