To use caterers in my own home?

[thatsenoughalready]

Can I ask, do people think it's bit rude to use caterers if you're hosting a dinner party at home? I've done quite a few dinner parties recently and another one tomorrow night. Now DH has asked people over next weekend and I can't be bothered. Would it be odd?

I’m sorry OP but you are coming across as a doormat.

• why doesn’t your DH sort out the food for his friends?
• why didn’t he discuss in advance he was going to invite people around?
• what would have happened if it was the same night as your friends were coming around?
• what would he do if you were out that evening?

Lots of men aren’t useless in this area - it’s women who let them be!

We've done it a couple of times and highly recommend, once for 10 guests and once for 16.
Our caterer turned up about 4pm with all in the ingredients, cooked, served with an assistant and left with the kitchen immaculate about 11pm.
It's much cheaper and more informal than a smart restaurant.
Unless you're in a city you might struggle to find someone at short notice.

Or another idea, a friend of mine cooks for people in her home and drops dishes off ready to heat. You could do that for the main and DH could buy a pudding.

Do it. But if possible can you hide them?? Have them drop off food and leave so you can pretend it's yours?

Depending on the guests it might look a bit OTT having people serving and washing up.

DH is very kind in many ways and very generous. He can be difficult

Just listen to yourself.
This is not a healthy relationship.
This reminds me of the kids who don’t realise that the class bully isn’t their friend but is taking the piss. That all the name calling isn’t ‘a thing they do’ but is down right nasty.

Seriously? He invited them (without asking you) so he needs to sort the whole evening. I am much more social than DH so if we have people over (only ever for informal kitchen supper type food) I fully expect to sort out the catering. I would never expect him to shop, cook, and get the house ready for a group of people he wasn't that fussed about seeing and hadn't agreed to invite.

Just tell him it's up to him to sort. (Sadly I don't think you will.)

It’s true that there are lots of men to treat their wives their housekeeper/mother and expect them to do everything. They are tactically useless at anything they’re asked to do round the house so they never have to do it again.

But actually they’re simply a very very depressing minority. Most men in 2017 don’t behave like this. You only have one life, is this all you want from it?

Can you ask yourself why you you cannot even answer all the posters who have asked you why DH cannot sort his own caterer? That simply amounts to picking up the phone.

I think there are lots of men who are useless in this area or they need things pointing out.

There are loads of completely useless wankers yes. But if you facilitate this then it really is your lookout.

He knows he says jump and you say 'how high?' and that's pretty much that by the looks of it. Why isn't he on here worrying about getting caterers in? Oh because he has you to sort that for him.

Yes its rude and lazy, not to mention substandard, if you are of decent respectable breeding with a sense of pride for your husband and house.
A dinner party should showcase your merits as a woman and capable housewife. Cook yourself and make some effort for god's sake.

ROFL 😂

Great that your having a word, that's a step in the right direction.
But really, you should be telling him to sort the caterers. Oh, and he can do the clearing away/washing up afterwards, too. He sounds lazy as fuck and dripping with male entitlement

I’m not sure there’s THAT many men who think inviting large groups of people around on a regular basis and expecting DW to do all the organisation and catering for them is normal. Having dinner parties is exhausting!

Sorry in DC Xmas fair and it's been busy. Yes I do take what people are saying on board. Not sure how much I should get into DH's personality as this was just about caterers! Basically, he is not lazy and works crazy hours. He holds a lot in and I feel like I can't ask him to do stuff e.g. cooking for whatever reason. He doesn't engage and he's always busy with something else. I'm not overrun in general because I have a cleaner and I'm at home. If I need more help I would probably ask her to do more hours rather than involve him.

It's really depressing how low your expectations are.

I hate these sad posts - in 2017 you don’t expect to read of women living like this.

A question for you, OP - can you imagine making a commitment that involved your DH doing several hours of work without asking him first? What do you think he would say? E.g if you told a friend that he would come over at the weekend and paint their house.

Why do you think your DH has the right to commit you to cooking for a dinner party?

Does he ever mention it or clear it with you first, before he invites people round for a dinner party? Does he ever ask you if you are happy to do all this dogsbodying entertaining for his friends? No? Didn't think so.

Get caterers in, and if he isn't happy about it, then next time you can go on strike and he can organise it all himself.

Thank goodness Cook was set up although I’m not sure that would meet the standards required here. The Op mentions having the Cook lasagna for her DC’s - sounds like it wouldn’t be good enough for her DH and his friends.

I'm sorry, OP. This man is a selfish, entitled, woman-hating wanker and he has trained you to accept that he is your lord and master.

I wouldn't say he hates women. He does Do and take care of a lot of things that I don't have to worry about. I wouldn't want people to think it's all one way. We have 3 DC so probably fallen into a pattern over the years. If there is something any if us need, he will sort it. He's not at all selfish in that way.

My husband works extremely long hours, these are city hours that take over your whole life. But if he invites a bunch of 15 over to dinner at the last minute, then he's cooking. It wouldn't occur to him otherwise.

If your husband wasn't married he'd have the same hours but he'd have to do his own cooking. And if Cook isn't up to scratch then he's gotta find a caterer.

As your username indicates "that's enough already".

My DH is a high earning workaholic. I also work. Our children are grown up. He consults. No problem at all getting in a person who doesbdinner parties or booking a restaurant. I have a lady who will arrive at 3.30, with the food and flowers, set the table, prepare three courses for me to serve, wine chilled, glasses out, lemons sliced, etc. I can breeze in at 6ish, say hi, touch up makeup, change frock and take over at 6.45.

Don't do it nowadays to be fair, dinner parties in one's home are a bit passe. Clients who are entertained are friends and happy with a casserole at the kitchen table.

Not read whole thread and we may just be established enough not to care.

He wasn't the guy planning to go to the north pole was he?

No he has not been to the North Pole but since January he has - climbed a mountain overseas; had a rock-climbing accident in U.K. where he broke his hand among other things; went on a week-long charity bike ride in Asia with the broken hand; written off a racing car and the worst thing, was when he got knocked off his bike in London ( not his fault) because he was in hospital for 5 days and I'm really scared about him on the bike after that. He also took DS1 trekking in India and has done two-triathlon events. That's 2017. Soon he's going to Sweden or Finland to drive the cars on ice. So you get the idea.

Initially read the title of this thread as To use catheters in my own home... 😂