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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Blocked on first ..Aibu to think I must be hated?

56 replies

Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 12:53

I'm in my 30s now and had a friend since I was around 11 (il call her Louise)
I started to date her brother but we ended badly.
Me and Louise continued to be friends but there was tension.
Her brother was still apparently in love with me.
Gradually me and Louise stopped speaking.
After 18 months I re activated my Facebook account and within 20 minutes Louise had blocked me.
Her mum also blocked me (even tho she wasn't even on my friends list)
Why? After all that time?
Do you think they all must hate me?
It's just odd don't you for someone to block you without even being on your friends list.
It's a shame as me and Louise were so close,I still miss her every day.
In a way I hoped me coming back on Facebook might start a conversation

OP posts:
FreudianSlurp · 24/11/2017 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 12:57

We were like sisters and me and her family were close ..long before me and him dated.
It's a bit of a punch in the gut.
I wish we could move past it.
Things sometimes don't work out but to loose my friend was the worst.

OP posts:
SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 24/11/2017 13:00

I searched out and blocke people from my past when I first opened FB. They are in the past for a reason.

greennailvarnish · 24/11/2017 13:01

Blood is thicker than water and if you say that it ended badly, then she is going to be loyal to her brother who is still hurt.

demirose87 · 24/11/2017 13:05

It says more about her than you, some people just get set in their ways and are stubborn and stuck in the past. If she means a lot to you, reach out another way and say how you feel, but only once. If you don't hear anything back or get a negative response I would just leave it as she's the one with the problem.

picklemepopcorn · 24/11/2017 13:05

Perhaps it would have upset her brother to come across you on his sister's page. It's kind of her to protect him like that. She could have done it at the t8me, just in case, and completely forgotten all about it now,.,

picklemepopcorn · 24/11/2017 13:06

Sorry, didn't spot that she blocked you after reactivating,

Original poster
Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 13:13

He was the one in the wrong ..so not sure how she could be great with him yet through our years of friendship down the pan.

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 24/11/2017 13:14

Is it 18 months since you split up with her brother or fell out with her?

18 months isn't a huge length of time in the grand scheme of things.

And if you have mutual friends, perhaps she saw your name pop up on someone else's page and decided to block you.

RatRolyPoly · 24/11/2017 13:16

I'm sorry to say I think you do risk a friendship when you start dating that friend's brother. People aren't necessarily reasonable when it comes to their close family.

Original poster
Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 13:17

18 months since me and her stopped speaking.
No argument she just stopped speaking.
Been 2 1/2 years since me and him split after only 2 months together because of lots of reasons (spending time at exs etc etc)

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfRa · 24/11/2017 13:18

He was the one in the wrong ..so not sure how she could be great with him yet through our years of friendship down the pan.

Logically, you’re right, but I think siblings tend to have a stronger bond than friend, which they’d rather not break unless they have to.

I don’t think I’d fall out with my sister for example if she went out with a friend and it ended badly. I’d always support her, (unless she did something seriously bad).

This has reminded me why I hate fb. You’ve only just rejoined and you’re already stressing! Is it really worth it?

Original poster
Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 13:18

It only took her mum 30 min to block me.
I know it shouldn't matter as its all pathetic but it hurts a little.

OP posts:
RatRolyPoly · 24/11/2017 13:19

not sure how she could be great with him yet through our years of friendship down the pan

Because she was always going to be great with him; he's her brother. For most people no amount of friendship of being in the right is going to trump that. I'm afraid you can't expect sense to prevail in situations like this.

ByThePowerOfRa · 24/11/2017 13:19

People aren't necessarily reasonable when it comes to their close family.

^^this is what I was trying to say!

And yes, it is a big risk starting a relationship with a friend’s sibling imo. Sometimes it’s worth taking. Sometimes not I suppose.

Viviennemary · 24/11/2017 13:21

They just think you treated your ex badly and it was all your fault. that's the reason they've blocked you IMHO. I see you've said he was the one in the wrong but that doesn't seem to be how they see it. And you deleted your FB account so had no contact then re-activated it and they blocked you. Can see why they did this. Why did you have nc with them for 18 months if they were your best friends.

MinervaSaidThar · 24/11/2017 13:22

Do these people spend their life on Facebook? Confused

Did you post something straight after you reactivated your account?

If not, how on earth did she know you had reactivated it within 20 minutes?

I would be glad to be shot of these pathetic point scorers.

And please remember, people change, she won't be the same person anymore. Even if she did want to be friends, it wouldn't be like it was before.

Original poster
Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 13:24

I don't think I did,I think I commented on a friends pic and she might have seen that and straight away blocked me,then got her mum to do the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 13:24

The 18 months of NC was because one day they stopped texting me back and blocked my phone number ,no explanation.
I knew it related to the brother so I just left it to save more angst

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfRa · 24/11/2017 13:27

It definitely sounds as if they don’t want you to contact them. They’ve blocked your phone AND your social media... I wouldn’t call them friends anymore.

Mustang27 · 24/11/2017 13:31

If you were like sisters why did you even go there with the brother?? I know hindsight is a fine thing but I'd never date my friends family members unless I was happy to lose their friendships if it all went tits up. Sorry but I think you just need to move on and accept that they are going to side with the brother. Regardless if it's petty of him to not want his family talking to you or not they have made their choice.

Viviennemary · 24/11/2017 13:31

I re-read your other posts. It does seem harsh of them when you only dated the brother for two months and the whole thing was over 2 and a half years ago. And doesn't sound as if they are going to change their minds. I suppose you could send a Christmas card and say sorry how things have turned out and you miss the friendship. But it's risky as you will be hurt if you don't get a reply.

Original poster
Kellyopio · 24/11/2017 13:31

Why tho?
I did nothing wrong?
It's like they pretending I don't exsist.
I know he blamed his sister for meddling and caused lots of arguments between her and brother.

OP posts:
Zorrro · 24/11/2017 13:31

Sounds like the brother fed them a great sob story about you and they swallowed it.

stitchglitched · 24/11/2017 13:31

Are you the person who had an affair with your friends brother when his girlfriend had just had a baby? If so your friend and her Mum have made it clear their loyalty is to him and his family unit. He was a shit but he is their shit and his partner is the mother of their nephew/grandchild so of course they don't want to reconnect with you. You really need to move on.

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