Just found out a work colleague's mum does her washing and ironing... AIBU to be shocked?

[ChabuddysPeanutDust]

She's in her 30s, doesn't live at home. No kids. No LDs or anything like that.

Just

BusyBeez - you and your dh could pay someone to do it like most adults.

If your Mum wants to help you by doing your housework, why don't you suggest to her that she finds something more fulfilling, creative, worthwhile, charitible to do with her time? I can't stand this idea that older women are not worth anything unless they are oiling the domestic machine (as they will no doubt have been doing since they were teens themselves).

LoveYouTimMinchin my mum "helps" me because we are family and therefore part of a team. Helping each other should be second nature.
My mum doing my ironing does not mean I am not independent, how ridiculous.

I din't understand why you care so much?

I'm sure if her mum didn't want to do it for her she has a tongue in her head to say so. It's hardly unusual for family members to help each other out.

Oh dear IcingSausage! You appear to have a bit of a short fuse.

No, I don't know any of that because you didn't say so. None of us are mind readers.

Not a mind reader but bloody quick to judge people.

That proves the point LoveYouTimMinchin, no one knows about other peoples set up and so it is not up to anyone else to judge.

I suspect I am older than some of the MumsWhoAreDoingTheirAdultChildrensHousework on this thread!

I won't be doing any housework for my lovely children when they are adults, I've done enough while they are growing up .

Exceptions for illness/disability if I am still able bodied myself.

Good for you ilovetim but your not our mums! We're not hoisting up our judgy pants about you

Our mums have offered. So you are not judging us but our mums.

When DS1 comes home on a weekend or on leave I do his. He's more than capable of doing his own, he's in the army, and does so most of the time. However, he works longer hours than anyone I know so doing a couple of loads of washing and an hours worth of ironing for him on a weekend is no big deal.

DS2 brings stuff home from uni and I do his too. I really don't mind.

I feel embarrassed for the adults who are happy to farm this domestic chore out to their older female relatives

I farmed it out to my younger male relative instead

My mum offered because she loves me and knows how stressful my work life is. In return I sort out her computer, laptop, treat her to the cinema etc. Why would she want to help others when she can help the daughter she loves.....?

Aww, that’s lovely of her dm. My dm and df used to come to my house and wash up/tidy. Maybe mow my lawn, but I did have a cat and worked shifts, and could be away at times.

I now have a work colleague who’s mum helps do ironing, tidying etc, but she’s just separated from her dh, and has dc.

I don’t see the problem of pulling together 🤷🏼‍♀️

When I was in first year uni it was a faff getting washing done in the laundry room so I would take it home if I was going home for the weekend.

I’m now over 30 and have lived in my own house with a perfectly functioning washing machine and tumble dryer and I still get asked “have you got any washing you want to bring home”? No Mum! I’m not carting washing 200 miles up the country and I haven’t taken washing Home for over 10 years!

She had a great career but also did the lions share of the domestic work (still does) and Mum likes to be ‘useful’. It’s so hard getting her to sit down and relax when she is with me. It seems like trying to do domestic drudgery for your adult children is a way of showing you still care?

I often smuggle my mums washing out of her house like towels etc and wash dry and take it back up.
There wouldnt be a chance in hell she would want to do mine though 🙃