My issue is exactly that though, and actually I think that the fact that Belle is hanging onto the hope that the beast will turn into the man she knows he is inside is worse.
But she isn't! She refuses to have anything to do with him whilst he is being mean and angry. She point blank refuses to go down to dinner even when he's screaming at her through the door. He makes an ultimatum that if she doesn't eat with him then she doesn't eat all - she ignores that totally and sneaks out to get something to eat. He has told her she can go anywhere in the castle except for the west wing, so where does she head as soon as she can? But when he yells at her she grabs her cloak and runs away without looking back. She has promised to stay with him and she breaks that promise without hesitation because she knows that his behaviour is not good enough and she doesn't have to put up with it.
She's well on her way home when she gets attacked by wolves - she fights the wolves herself, but she can't fend them all off, and that is when the beast turns up and saves her by killing the last few. He is injured and collapses, and Belle has a good think about just riding off and leaving him to die - but, in repayment of him saving her life, she saves his and takes him home. In repayment for that he gives her his library. Then they start to get along. She does nothing to try and make him change, she explicitly states that she has no interest in finding out if he's nice underneath ('The master isn't so bad once you get to know him.' 'I don't want to get to know him, I don't want anything to do with him.') she does not accept his bad behaviour. Once he starts behaving decently, she treats him in kind. Whether or not you think someone deserves a second chance is surely a personal matter. Yes she'd be well within her rights to continue refusing his attempts at friendship, but she is happy to give him another go. Her decision. That's an important message too - people make mistakes but can be redeemed/ forgiveness is an important part of being human, but you don't have to forgive them if you don't want to.
Don't conflate "fairy stories" with "Disney"
I don't. But if someone is talking about Gaston or Belle, then they are talking about the Disney version - and therefore that is the appropriate version to discuss. As a pp said, original fairy tales are important as so much of our culture, and other works of art are based on them so it is necessary to have an understanding of those in order to engage in other literature/films. But they come with loaded historical context.
Disney films have been sanitised and made happy in order to fit a more modern palette - but they do stand up to scrutiny!
Snow white runs away from home and finds herself a place to stay. She trades what skills she has (cooking and cleaning) in return for being allowed to live safely with the dwarves. She pays her way, earns her keep and looks after herself. The dwarves fail to save her on time and the prince didn't know that kissing her would wake her up - so that doesn't really count as a rescue. When she gets upset in the forest she gives herself a mental slap and forces herself forward into a new life. how is she a sap? That's the Disney version, but I don't remember the fairy tale version being massively different - other than that the queen tries to kill her a few more times.
Cinderella is a woman with no money, no friends and no respectable way out of the situation she finds herself in. Her choice is basically stay at home as a servant or leave and ...what? prostitution? But despite losing both her parents and being forced to live in poverty as a servant in her own home she remains kind and cheerful and loving. That is a massive triumph of the human spirit! In the Disney version - which doesn't stand up to scrutiny apparently - she doesn't want to go to the ball to fall in love and live happily ever after, she wants to go to a party and have a nice evening! She doesn't even realise that the Prince is the Prince, until the next morning. She isn't rescued by the Prince, she's rescued by her friends - that is her reward for having been good and kind to them, they help her out. She provides the solution to the smashed slipper, by handing over the second slipper. The message is if you are good and kind, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, you will be rewarded - people will be happy to help you out and good things will happen. Sure it isn't necessarily a true to life message, but promoting kindness and goodness isn't a bad message.
Putting women down because they live in a time of limited opportunities, and only have traditionally feminine skills - which they make use of in order to keep themselves clothed/housed and fed - and calling them 'saps' is hardly a bullseye for the feminist cause either.