The worst complaint you have ever received

[planetclom]

I’ll start.
Someone complained they when they arrived early for an appointment I saw them early, they did not want to be seen early ...
Someone complained that I was only interested in box ticking and in the next sentence complained I spend to long trying to sort out their issue...

Work in the NHS if that is relevant, I suspect it is.

I genuinely don't know how anyone could muster up even one fuck to give about someone saying 'no problem'.

In an old job we were told not to ever say "no problem" and it's stayed with me. If a customer asks me to do something then my response is "of course" and if they say thank you my reply "you're welcome".

The only time I ever say no problem is on the occasion you get a really lovely customer who's all "I'm so sorry to bother you, I know you're busy" etc when it's my job to help them !

he had received a silver router and he specifically requested a black router and a silver router completely fucked up all his interior decorating

Quelle horreur riggity

(Even if he'd got the one he wanted, I bet it would have been the wrong side of black . . . )

These are from within the family, bil complained that he didn't get a Full Christmas dinner the previous Christmas at ours (did a massive buffet instead) but the thing is he, sil and newborn baby hadn't actually been invited.
Turned up at 9am unannounced, said they were going to Sils mums for dinner, only they never left had to kick them out at 7pm!

Another family member who lives her life on Instagram and fb complained to me that my dd was liking (or whatever it is) everything that she posted. The reason being family member had alerts on her phone, as a result alerts going off constantly whilst she was trying to sleep and woke her (TBF it wasn't just dd doing the liking but family member singled her out) Told the silly mare to turn the alerts off then. She wouldn't as she needs that validation, so she blocked and deleted dd instead.

ooh, maybe it is me but I have a lot!
My personal favourites are

1. being told that I should not be confident at work as it might make someone else feel insecure

2. "working too quickly" and "getting too much done" as apparently it made another colleague look bad"

3. being friendly and smiling a lot

4. my -notoriously- -horrible- boss complaining and asking why another senior colleague had sent a letter saying I was really helpful and an asset to the team

5. not having angostura bitters so I couldn't make to make a pink gin

6. bringing biscuits back from holiday which didn't have ingredients listed in English and so could have triggered an allergic reaction. I would have considered it more of a fair point if the person who complained had an allergy and hadn't eaten most of the box themself!

unyummy - that reminds me of my Dads very 'local' quite rough pub in a small ex-mining part of Doncaster. A very posh gentleman came in once (God knows why he was there, maybe got lost on a race day?) and asked if they had any angostura bitters and when told they'd never heard of it he said 'but what on earth do you do if someone requires a pink gin?'

They told that story in the pub for years

Remembered one from a friend.

She and a colleague were joking around in a friendly way. They had known each other for years and were friends as well as colleagues. The colleague (A) is from Liverpool.

Another colleague, B, had mislaid his stapler.

B: I wish I knew what had happened to my stapler.

Friend: A is a scouser. She probably pinched it.

A, B and my friend laughed about this.

Two days later, friend is hauled into a meeting room. A fourth person, C, had overheard this exchange and had made a formal complaint about friend “inciting racial hatred”.

C was not from Liverpool, had no reason to be upset and had clearly seen that friend, A and B had all laughed over the exchange.

My friend’s employer had to take it seriously and investigate it. What a waste of time!

The reality, of course, is that C hated my friend and was desperate to do damage to her. How poisonous some people are.

How did they take that seriously? Scouse isn't a race!

Sorry posted too soon - meant to add 'what a waste of everyone's time'. Did C get into trouble for malicious accusations?

I once refused to reduce the price of an item of jewellery and was told to "go back to your own country"

Sadly, C was not disciplined for making a frivolous complaint. My friend had to go through a po faced investigation, which found no case to answer, though. What a time to be alive!

Someone messaged me this week to say that it had ‘left a bad taste’ because I didn’t offer them a carrier bag with their Facebay purchase. You were half an hour late love —and a carrier bad would be an extra 5p—

Strike through fail

At work a colleague criticised me for being too enthusiastic and optimistic. That I needed to 'get real'. What I really needed to do is get away from her and her team!

I saw a funny reaction to a 'complaint' once... we had a regular customer who, on the surface was just as any other customer but when you spoke to her you quickly realised she probably had some mental health issues. Her standard behaviour was to come to you to get served but start to tell you what an awful person you were, how you had breached her human rights, she was phoning the United Nations about you and you were going to jail as soon as she could arrange it because she knew the truth about you. All delivered with the sweetest Irish brogue. No anger or emotion in it. It was almost like a script she had to get through.

We all felt very sorry for her as it must be so scary to live your life that way, so we all used to just apologise in that 'I'm sorry you feel that way' and serve her as quickly as we could.

Then one day the head boss man was visiting and decided to 'do a stint of serving like the good old days' and of course I saw UN lady heading to the counter... I intercepted her as quickly as I could and took over so she would say her script to me and all the time the head boss man was just in my eyeline boggling away watching me essentially being accused of all sorts of crimes and me just apologising for it...

I think the penny must have dropped for him quite quickly, or someone explained to him about the situation but he never looked at me in quite the same way.

Not a complaint but in a similar vein. The practice owner at our old dentist once admonished his assistant for daring to say 'OK'. I think he was in one of his moods (no excuse) so he very pointedly wagged his finger at her and said "And don't say OK!" In front of a busy waiting room who were all and then. Silly, sanctimonious old git. Long-since retired, thank goodness. My dear mother thought the world of him.

I got bawled at by a customer for talking to him while I had a pen in my hand. I wasn't waving it about like a magic wand, ì worked in a bank, and I was indicating where he should sign, before offering it to him so he could sign. He told me it was the worst form of psychological torture that one human being could inflict on another he left me in tears, after a 10 minute stream of verbal abuse. I'm sure he doesn't remember it now, but I'll never forget it.

jbee. I would have been tempted to make the leap from psychological to physical and stab the silly twat repeatedly. With the pen, of course.

He told me it was the worst form of psychological torture that one human being could inflict on another

What the actual fuck?

I lost a temp job because I asked for more work. It was a big retail head office. I was to answer a certain internal line, make a note in a spreadsheet and that was it. Except there were about four calls a day so obviously I got bored after about an hour. Wasn’t allowed to use the internet, fiddle on phone, or read a magazine so I went round and asked if anyone had any admin work to help with. Did a few bits for people, all OK. Then on the train home I got a call from the temp agency asking me not to go back. The boss decided I was making the company look bad because I had nothing to do and was overly eager. Apparently they replaced me with some really dopey guy. I was baffled. They were paying me hourly so why not get their money’s worth?

Does not surprise me that said company are now deep in the shit.

But @roconnell you can get sugar free syrups for coffee ??

I worked for a publishing company in the late 80s and one of the publisher's assistants took a phone out of my hand and whacked me round the head with it because I was on a personal call. It was in my lunch break. It was also an incoming call.

Paper round in my Teens.

Sunday morning delivery, paper with 6 sections possibly the "Sunday Times?".
Really narrow letter flap at the bottom of the door (a push inwards on a hard spring).

So I had the choice splitting sections up, then posting them through...Got a bollocking from Shop owner for doing so.
I told Shop owner about the problem, He replied "tough it's your fault"

Try to push all it through at once...resulting in ripped pages...Yep another bollocking. Yet I complained yet again... as before "your problem/fault"

Now this went for a for a about a month. Then the Homeowner decided to get a fucking yappy "ankle-snapper", put paper sections through the door...you guessed right...the mutt ripped everything up. Major bollocking etc, etc.

Following Sunday I walked around the corner, sat and separated all the pages, walked back to the shop and said "I resign", while up-ending the bag (then dropping it) & then walked out, back home to bed.

Best thing I've ever did .

Not only a shitty Shopkeeper, but a shitty home owner too boot.

NHS - customer complained he had been sent an appointment and 'any fool could see the appointment was the day before his birthday' - an adult, mid 40s.

I sold some books on Amazon, I got a complaint a book had not arrived, I had a look and the bool had not been purchased. I saint an oh so lovely email explaining that as soon as the buyer actually bought the book I would send it to them.