Jilly12345 -
1 don't be so fucking patronising
2 I've actually been TOLD by friends in unhappy ltr that they'd prefer this kind of set up
3 I can assure you I for one am neither pathetic nor desperate. There are people who want/have wanted to date me so I'm hardly undateable. I don't just shag anyone I'm quite fussy actually, this setup suits ME not just the people I shag.
4 I am DEFINITELY not being used! It's a mutually beneficial arrangement.
What is your problem with women enjoying sex purely as a physical activity that feels very good? I suspect if you knew the full range of what some of us enjoy you'd be in shock!
"I can't understand why people cannot get it into their fucking heads that these arrangements are mutual. No-one is using anyone
Exactly. If anything the married women are being used more than we are.
We give up nothing. We owe the fwb nothing and vice versa.
How many married women complain on here that their DP / DH does nothing with the kids and no house work. There is massive thread about a woman wanting to divorce her husband for machine washing her hand wash knickers.
Women give up careers, earning capacity and from the number of threads I see on here it is to men that use them like domestic slaves. They can end up in the position they cant afford to leave the useless man or if they have more money than him having to give him half of everything they bought.
But let me get this straight, those in a non committed relationship are being used?!
Right." Absolutely! I understand people staying in happy ltr but every time I read of a woman that's miserable in one I do think "ffs why?" It's really not necessary now.
danitruth what UTTER nonsense, how DARE you assume we're modelling anything 'unhealthy' to our children! IF they even know about it - which most don't, then what the hell is wrong with them knowing that marriage and monogamy are NOT the only options? FAR too many women - myself included - end up in MISERABLE even abusive marriages/ltr because supposedly ltr/monogamy are 'right' - says who? Unless you're religious (and it depends on the religion) NOBODY there's no evidence that ltr and monogamy are better - especially for women! As for the idea that just because I'm a mother I don't deserve a decent sex life - ODFOD!!
And I have NEVER had anyone over when my daughter has been home. (Now this will REALLY shock some posters but - sex doesn't only happen at night!!) I have not only been safe in terms of sexual health but in terms of personal safety too - there's people on mn that have moved in blokes with their kids KNOWING They are addicts/violent/sexually abusive to CHILDREN or who won't leave men like this leaving their children exposed to them - how the bloody hell is what I do WORSE than that?! Dd has not had a series of 'new daddies' in and out of her life either so no emotional trauma.
And how the hell has fwb anything to do with divorce?? I'm single, the people I shag are single... No affairs involved! When I was married though my now ex was basically shagging everything that moved - look on the relationships board on here and see how many women are left for other women that neither the cheating man nor the ow would describe their situation as fwb. So AGAIN total nonsense.
"Your anger at people who make different lifestyle choices to you doesn't exactly indicate someone who's entirely happy with their lot in life." Totally agree!
Marriage rates are slowing mainly because living together is far more the norm now. There's less stigma to it, to having children 'out of wedlock' plus most people don't practice a religion in that way in the U.K. Now.
Being married is NOT A moral badge of honour.
"Everyone likes sex but a proper relationship where you are in love is far superior" that's not true for everyone. I have friends that have never been and never want to be in a ltr. Not sure about myself, it would have to be someone very special, very sexually open minded for me to go into a ltr again.
My 2 closest friends who both know about this are married very happily, one had fwb herself in the past, one has only slept with 3 men in her life 2 of those her husbands. The 3rd a ltr but they never married. She's also a practicing Catholic and even she isn't judgmental like some on this thread!
I'm definitely NOT middle class, wtf class has to do with it I do not know!
Bigley - spot on!
The relationships board is predominantly women in miserable, even abusive ltr, FAR from showing fwb doesn't work it shows ltr don't really work imo. I know a lot of people by virtue of moving around a lot etc, I know VERY few people in genuinely happy ltr - 14 couples actually out of over 250 friends, 5 of those couples in the same family! (Not mine)
Nancy -
A IF those of us in fwb arrangements are 'bitchy' it's mainly in response to the nastiness from certain posters towards us.
B we haven't said ltr can't work for ANYONE yet those of you in ltr who WON'T accept fwb works for SOME people are being incredibly arrogant
"I don't think there is anyone that actually thinks just sex is better than love AND sex." Depends how good the sex is 
Condom bunting 
Would have to be ecards for me or I'd be destroying half a forest! 
"I mean children don't need dads do they?!" That is SO fucking out of order I don't know where to begin! Many many single mums choose for damn good reasons not to have their children's father in their lives (abuse mainly) and for the same reasons don't want another relationship - Also I DARE you to say that to 2 of the very happy couples I know who are lesbians with children - what century are you living in? 16th century puritanical Salem?!! 
I highly doubt you are SO morally superior that you are SO much better than anyone that has casual sex.
We are NOT predisposed to find love at all - even love match for marriage as a concept is a VERY recent idea. We are predisposed to procreate - that involves sex and lots of it!
As for the latter nonsense, I married at 23 and had my daughter at 28, she's now almost 17 and in an excellent job with great prospects which includes them paying for her to do a degree if she chooses.
I'm perfectly capable of love I have friends and family I love dearly and who love me and have done (in the case of my closest friends not just family) for over 30 years.
Conversely my ex now married to one of the many ow is still shagging around, likely not safely either and 2nd wife has 5 kids because every time he has an affair her response is to get pregnant! How many kids he now has scattered about goodness only knows!! Yet according to danitruth I'm a 'whore' and they're a 'respectable married couple'.
"Pretty much. I teach my daughter about safety and consent. So I do hope she follows that, yes." Yep I've also taught mine she's allowed to enjoy it too!
"You don't need to be Freud to figure out who on this thread has a less than fulfilling sex life..." Just what I was thinking.