To not send DD to the same school as DS?

[tartanfleece]

Sorry if this sounds like boasting ... it really isn't, or not intentionally. DS is very, very clever. His dad is very clever so I suppose it's been picked up in the gene pool.

At any rate, DD is a perfectly bright little girl, but far more 'average' (note: I don't see this as a bad thing.)

However, I can't help but feel that if she attends the same school her brother did comparisons may inevitably be made and I'm not sure these are going to be completely fair comparisons. DD also isn't as well behaved although she might be different at school.

But at any rate WIBU to send her somewhere where she has a completely fresh slate? She should be starting school next september.

i think it's hard to tell at that age. On the face of it DS2 was way brighter than DS1, he talked earlier, we could have conversation about quite intense stuff when he was quite small, phenomenal vocabulary, could ride a bike properly before he was 3. DS1 was very quiet with a talent for jigsaws. They are a year apart. All through primary although they were both clever, DS2 achieved everything before DS1. Now they are 17 and 16. DS1 is more or less a straight A student and about to submit his Uni application. DS2 is really struggling. Even in subjects that his history through school should indicate that he should be good at. His chances of getting to Uni look remote. This is a child that was reading Harry Potter with comprehension at age 6. he passed levels in virtually all skills at age 6 that were meant for children 4 years older than him. Just had parents night and every teacher tells me what a delightful boy he is but then they finish it with a tilt of the head and a "but I'm not sure he is going to pass his exams" in "god love him" way.

She's 3 ...?? Oh ok

At primary I don't think it's likely to be much of an issue, and your dd may well come into her own and prove to be just as able as her brother, she is only three after all!

If there is still a significant difference by high school age, I'd do it then. I was significantly more academic than my sibling, and it was horrible for both of us being constantly compared

I don't see that as an issue at primary level, and who knows what her potential is at three!

I think your children are too young for you to be making the distinction you are, unless your son is clearly a child genius.

I have two sets of friends whose parents thought this and were going to send the siblings to different schools because Of it. Older sibling amazingly brighter, younger sibling bright but not especially so. In both cases it took a teacher or tutor to point out the parents were wrong....when the younger sibling was around 10/11 years old, in one case and 12/13 in the other. In one case the younger sibling went on to utterly outshine the older one academically. In the other case, both siblings did equally well. But it's left one of the younger siblings with a lifelong sense of needing to prove themselves and being competitive insuitable ways.

By all means pick schools that suit your individual children. But beware of labelling your younger child and risking a self-fulfilling prophecy or other issues.

A complete non issue for me.

I'm sure your son is wonderfully gifted, but do you really think the reception teacher (who taught him 7 years previously) will be making direct comparisons to your DD?

Both mine are bright but in slightly different areas. Characterwise they are like chalk and cheese.
8 academic years between them is long enough for only a handful of teachers, maybe 3/10, to remember DC1. None of the pupils do, obviously.

We chose to send DC2 to the same Middle School (not our nearest) because the staff did a great job the first time and we trust they'll do it again.
Specialised High school (14-18), not so sure. Again, because of the teaching standards not because of any family precedent.

Over thinking.

Choose the school you think best suits DD's personality, ignoring your DS's previous attendance at a school, it really isn't relevant, especially as there is an age gap and you really don't know yet how 'brilliant' or otherwise she will be.

I'm not sure about genius as it sounds wanky and over the top and anyway, it's not exactly about how clever DS is or how average DD is. It's more about her not having any assumptions made about her.

Wouldn't it be a pain to do 2 different school drop offs?
Personally I think you are over thinking it massively, as long as you value them both then I don't see why it would be a problem. She may be stronger than him in some areas at school anyway (art/sports/social stuff etc)

The age gap means 8 academic Years between them,there’ll be no comparison

Really, don’t worry about it - she’s three! And you really cannot make a judgement on ability or academic success at 3. DS1 is very able and that has always been evident, DS2 didn’t do the same things as DS1 and it wasn’t until he was a lot older that I realised just how able he was. Being academically able doesn’t look the same and it certainly doesn’t translate into good academic results without a degree of application.

But OP, you are making huge assumptions about her!!!!

Even parents think their dc is very very clever/stand out and all the teacher in school may remember about how clever dc was and compare with their siblings, even after dc left school, I don't think it's so likely, tbh. They have seen many many children.
They may remember about parents though.

It’s up to you obv but I wouldn’t see it is necessary. Teaching siblings of differing abilities is surely something teachers deal with a lot.

You're calling your DD 'average' and she's only 3 years old?? FFS, what kind of a parent are you? This smacks of Golden Child (your DS) and Black Sheep (your DD). Please, please, think about your attitude to your DC before you irreparably damage your DC's relationship with you and with each other.

I think you would be completely nuts to think about doing this.
Logistics would be a real pain at best. How would you manage pick-ups? What would happen if parents evenings/school plays/fayre dates clashed? your dc could have different holiday dates and teacher training dates would probably differ too.
Teachers do not assess pupils based on who their siblings are. I have pupils in my class who are polar opposites to their siblings in many respects. I just have a little chuckle/smile to myself and get on with teaching them.
Your dd and ds would want to know why she had been placed in a different school to her brother. Even if you put a really positive answer across, she would work out the real reason eventually.
Let her just get on and continue to celebrate her talents.

It's so not golden child and black sheep ... they are just as loved as each other. Acknowledging they are different isn't a bad thing, I don't think.

Even if you thought that both children were as academically strong as each other, no bad thing for them to be known as individuals and not the sister or brother. My sister was never at the same school as me given our age gap and it seemed to work well for both of us.

I don't think some people are reading the thread. Pick ups aren't an issue. DS will go to secondary school this September.

She's three and her brother is 10??
How can you possibly compare how clever they are and who will academically achieve more?
Oh my word, poor DD being written off so young. Send her to the same school, why the hell does it matter considering her brother will have left anyway?!

Unless your son possesses the intelligence of Einstein or Newton, you shouldn't delude yourself into thinking he will be particularly memorable seven years down the line.

Also, your attitude towards your 3 year old's perceived "averageness" is shining through more with every post. Most people on this thread had picked it up, so you'd do well to take that into consideration for the future.

I'm feeling quite sorry for your dd.

My (younger) dbro was your ds1. People spoke about him in hushed tones. Other children said things like "I was top... oh except for Witch's dbro who doesn't count..."
I was "doing well at the top of the form but really bad at spelling and nothing like dbro"

It took me to adulthood to realise that actually in my best subjects I way outstripped him. In my less good subjects I was fairly similar to him, certainly not below. My spelling actually is probably as good as his, but whereas I would go and check it because I knew I was bad, he'd be praised for giving it a good go (but getting it wrong).

It effected my grades-I chose not to work as then I could at least feel that if I'd worked I might have done as well. It effected my confidence. And if effected my relationship with him.

But it also had a negative impact on dbro. He couldn't cope with not doing brilliantly. He struggled when people weren't talking about him in hushed tones.

The teachers weren't the ones to compare btw. It was home.

But labeling ds as very very clever and dd(at 3) average is very weird thing to do, imo. Children develop differently. Your dd maybe even more cleverer than ds, she maybe a late bloomer. You never know.

Oh God, this is a salient reminder to me to focus on seeing my DD’s talents! Sounds v similar, super bright older DS, big age gap. She’s just a baby but I really hope I never start to think ‘oh, look how average she is’. I’m sending them to the same school in the hope teachers think, ‘oh, isn’t she well behaved. It mustn’t have been bad parenting with DS’. (PLEASE let her be well behaved)