When people read your message but don't reply

[mrssunshinexxx]

It's my absolute pet hate you know when you see th little blue ticks and no they have read it but choose not to reply. I know sometimes you don't always have time to reply but then hours... a day or 2 goes by and still nothing and you feel a pest for chasing it up?!

You're being massively unreasonable. Someone might have quickly seen it but been too busy to reply or couldn't be arsed right then or not in the mood or too depressed to socialise or just doesn't like you very much or feel interested in what you have to say, their reason doesn't matter. A message sent to someone is an invitation to reply, not a summons. It's cringeworthy and needy to expect someone to reply as soon as they've seen your message.

You're basically putting your feelings of anxiety and rejection above their right to reply if and when they want and their convenience, which is self centred.

I often check my phone whilst I am on a call or on the train or in between doing a few things to see if is anything urgent. I read it and then don't have time to reply as I think I will reply in the evening when I have more time.

If there is a decision involved, e.g. a child invited to something or an invite for going out, it may mean I wait until I had a chance to look at the calendar, consult my DH and my DH might be away so may take a few days. There is also an element of forgetfulness at times when I am mega busy and other things take my mind off it.

Jokes that this is blamed on millennial behaviour. Of my friends aged between 20-30, almost all of us don’t use facebook regularly and we are some of the slowest to reply back. Only one of my friends whines about blue ticks and being online. Most of us are tech savvy enough to turn off read responses and complain about messenger services that don’t allow you to do so (instagram and fb).

Frankly I don’t care. My read receipts are turned off and I will reply when I have time. My friends and I have busy lives, jobs and I know if they’re not replying, it’s not me per se. If it is, then it’s their issue not mine. Until they come to me and say I have done something wrong, shrug what can I do. The only time I get anxious is if it’s a risky text!

I'm not sure what thread you're reading if you think the majority are with you OP, I'd say quite the opposite!

When i used to chat on fb a lot id sometimes read but not reply because I was in the middle of a fb conversation with a different person.

I dont always have time to answer chit chat messages so i get that but i do agree not answering is your partner coming to dinner type messages for days is rude

I always forget to reply to people. I just have better things to do half the time. I think 'I'll reply to that later' and then just forget all about it. I feel bad about it but also think I subconsciously just hate being messaged. I know this sounds stupid but to me it just feels a bit intrusive, people popping up on my phone, demanding my time, coming into my day uninvited! Haha. If I didn't need a phone for potential emergencies or to be contactable because of my son then I wouldn't have one at all!

My sister gets so mad when I've "read" a message of hers and not replied. It really annoys me! Sometimes I read it whilst I'm getting on a train or something and intend to reply later. She's rung me in the past and said "Don't you realise I can see you've read my message?!?! And you haven't replied!!"

Do one!

Sorry the Do one! was for my sister not you OP!

Oh I can’t stand those frantic “you’re ignoring me!!!!!!” Type messages. I have hundreds of friends/colleagues/superiors/acquaintances/other admin people telling me shit. I also have 6 ways of receiving messages. I make quick decisions about what can wait and what can’t, and quickly move on to the next thing. If it’s something like, can you pick up my kid - I’ll answer yes or no asap. If it’s something like, what are you doing this weekend (on Monday) then it has to wait. Everything has to get prioritised in order of urgency and/or importance otherwise I’d end up glued to my phone all day being super responsive to every little thing. Sorry, but I’m not an immediate answer-er. I do remember things going on in people’s lives though, and set reminders or write notes about important things coming up for friends, then set aside time to ask them how something went, and be ready if they have time to tell me. I don’t get offended if people don’t answer me either BTW.

I'll reply when I feel like replying to you and not before. Equally, I dont care when others reply to me. If something is urgent I call them.

I agree, Splendid. My phone is there simply to make my life easier if and when I need it; it is not going to become another list on my things to do list and no one can dictate to me how quickly I choose to reply to texts!

Oh my mum does this! I saw you were on facebook but you haven't called me back! Because I am lying there cuddling into a sleeping toddler who will scream blue murder if I move, or I'm on the bus where I don't want a long conversation!! Yabu the world doesn't revolve around you

YAB a bit U. I sometimes feel like that too. For me it depends on the person involved and the circumstances, how busy they are, how close I am to them, blah blah blah.

However, if I find myself wondering why someone didn't reply to me when they've been online and see the message, I just tell myself IABU, they're probably busy and will get back to me when they're ready.

My mum does this too. If I don't reply to something I will get another message asking something specific yet unrelated, trying to lure me into a response. I'd that doesn't work she sends a thumbs up, or a x. So I come back to a stream of messages which in theory then each need a response, but I know exactly what she's doing. My sister does it as well, she is surgically attached to her phone and doesn't understand that while I use mine a lot, it is also permanently on silent so I don't get notifications, I have 3 young children, drive a lot etc so don't want to get into a conversation in the middle of the day.

Not sure it’s a millennial thing.

All the people I know who complain about knowing a message has been read but not getting a quick reply are in their late 50s and over.

Just yesterday I had fil comment about lack of updates from me over the last week or so, I was in fucking hospital being ill and that FFS. He said he’d seen id been active at least once a day and surely I could have sent him a quick message.

The only time I was ‘active’ was to message husband to bring clean underwear and stuff. Fil could have found out how I was doing if he was that concerned by ringing his son. I couldn’t physically speak so me phoning him is pointless, and as the meds made me drowsy and sick, i prioritised my energy in replying to my dd who was worried about me and struggling, replying to a million well meaning ‘how are you?’ texts was a struggle, never mind sending updates to people I didn’t know were expecting one.

Thankfully, the people who are close to me know I was sick and unable to reply and speak, most of them came to visit me, or they contacted husband to check how I was and see if I needed anything and knew I wasn’t being rude. I was being very poorly in hospital and prioritising my young daughter.

I absolutely HATE this, it's funny too because most of the time it's one of my very good friends. I think you need to give people the benefit of the doubt because most of the time they're just busy. I was really annoyed at one of my best friends a while ago for something similar but it turned out she thought she'd replied. TYPICAL!! x

Meh, it happens. Sometimes people read it intending to reply later and then forget (that would be me). No snub intended

Oh my you sound needy as fuck.

Why should I reply to anyone as soon as I've seen it? Unless it's an emergency and someone's dying, I'll spend as long as I want to replying. Sometimes I see stuff and take 2 weeks so reply. So what? I don't care if people do it to me either because i understand they have LIVES that don't revolve around me!

And if you want someone to reply immediately, fucking call them!

You are invading my space so you will wait until I want to speak to you.

I never understood why DGran or MIL HAVE TO answer their phones. Surely that's what answer phones are for? Equally I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting you.

Stop invading my privacy...

Jesus how old are people? 12?

You are invading my space so you will wait until I want to speak to you.

Exactly. This is exactly how I see texts.

I often read messages and forget about them completely! Bottom line is, it really depends on what the other person is doing.

But if everyone replies to every message then the conversation will just be never-ending!!? How suffocating!

I’m very popular and get 100s of messages. I’ll reply to them when I can be arsed. Does that help?!

I’m very popular and get 100s of messages. I’ll reply to them when I can be arsed. Does that help?!